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Friendship & Holding Your Tongue

Tags: claudia
Never mind the title too much. Like headings in those legal contracts, 
it serves as a direction not a sum total. Ready?

Holding Your Tongue? For The Sake of Your Friend, Don’t!

Taylor is another friend that I absolutely adore. Our first overseas trip 
together was to support Lana in her anti-trafficking endeavour in HanoiEveryone, remember Lana from “Cabs In The City”, right?

While touring the city centre, we stopped to cool our heels in a trendy café near the Opera House. Taylor is a German mistaken for being French on a consistent basis. To make matters “worse”, she’s even fluent with the tongue. A French-speaking fellow materialised and asked if he could have her number. Taylor told him she was just visiting. The monsieur pushed for where she was from.  I thought it was interesting that she cited Saigon. The guy pressed on to say that his work would swing him there often too. My friend improvised further that her contract was ending and she was to leave the country soon. Hearing that, Philippe retreated without a trace.

Puzzled, I asked Taylor, “Pouquoi pas?” Philippe was cute. His stubble went well with the curly black hair. His bushy chest overflowed from a V-neck T-shirt that read “Comme Tu Veux”.  Plus, there was nothing wrong with his attempt to court, through my naïve Asian eye that was. Taylor looked at me disapprovingly. “There are,” she switched back to English, “many untoward things about this guy. For one, he totally ignored you. We could be together, you know.’ “Taylor, please,’  I objected. “Alright, it’s plain to anyone with half an eye that we’re not but still that’s protocol.” “But then, you’ve got to give him credit that at least he’s not here to chase Asian chicks.” “Oh, he’s probably done with them all.” 

Taylor was probably right with her guess, with this all-too-familiar-mistake. How many people have fallen for the myth that their physical attraction would stay triumphant in the face of their cultural difference? Rudeness of the awakening varies from case to case. While open to the idea of dating an Asian, she’s also cautious. Still, that she chose to say Saigon against that Caucasian man instead of Bangkok bothered me.  

Before the Frenchie came along, I’d babbled on & on about how I found Hanoians more handsome than their southern counterparts. I was observant & eloquent, or so I thought. My listener had to resort to 2 strong coffees to cope when normally she’d go for a decaf dans l’apres midi.

Out on the street, we caught Philippe’s broad shoulders receding further & further. There I was, mentioning him once more. “Well, I’m sure I said what needed to be said. You don’t want me to be another broken record, do you?” Taylor replied wearily. So, there I was, shut up & grateful.  Never again to be repetitive on anything. “Same way with many other things such as how you may prefer one region to another,” my friend gently added.  

Holding Your Tongue? Yeah, You Should Have!

Shannon and I met through Lana, but we became friends through Taylor. Like Taylor, Shannon, too, knows what she is doing.  A little difference here is she knows exactly who she wishes to attract. Back in London, there had been 2 job offers – to renew her contract in the English capital or to opt for Bang Bang Bangkok. This she shared with a wink, as if a twinkle in those bottomless eyes didn’t suffice.

Seriously though, Shannon fancied a breather from the unencouraged infatuation by them white van men who seemed to roam London in their own rules only.    

She and Claudia used to be inseparable. Shannon related her gratefulness for Claudia’s gracefulness in making her feel welcome in the new environment. I remember when Claudia and I were introduced. We captured everyone’s imagination to the tune of “Material Girl” in a hipster bar in Ekkamai, feeling all hipper-than-thou. Looking back,  I don’t know if that should have been a cause for a congratulation or lamentation. The DJ squinted at our request on a piece of paper and looked at us with his, “You?”.  We were a tad more than tipsy that night but the paper surely wrote “Like A Virgin” on it.

I met Claudia a few times after that. When our paths thus crossed, her story was often how she was struggling on the dating front.   

Like failure, success can be as cheeky. If you know Shannon like me, you’ll agree that she has a good heart. But if you will see her like most guys, you’ll be only touched by her great chest. And like I said, success cannot be success without a victim. Shannon is attracted to Thai guys and the feeling appears to be mutual. (Of course, Asian blokes fancy Caucasian females. How else do you think Hollywood would shift tickets around here?) However, one complication is none seems to like an Americano that much. They all prefer milk in there, the more the better. With Shannon, they make too obvious their wonder how her Irish milk would compliment their caffeine. And, that’s where the turn-off lies.  

For whatever reason, Claudia and I are not Facebook friends. That didn’t stop me from being able to “pry”. Through Shannon’s sharing that was. Claudia was a creature clearly in love with herself. In any group shot, she inserted as the prime spot. Then, for no obvious reason, the focus vanished. Such an absence was palpable. Part of our What-is-new-with-you, I mentioned the curious little incident to Shannon.  

Oh they remain on the speaking term, alright. Seeing my friend’s face while she was reliving it, I let go of an urge to press for specifics. Shannon didn’t let on about Claudia any further either. You’re right! Who do we think we’re fooling? I did ask Shannon for the exact thing that Claudia couldn’t keep to herself. “It was something really shitty, probably out of insecurity.’ “How shitty?” “She said, “Oh well, why should I agonise? You’re not faring that much differently, even with those tits.”  
  
Holding Your Tongue?

To keep up with meeting friends through friends, I met Hope this year at a wedding in South Korea. Pretoria, South Africa is where she’s from. The moment of laying my eyes on her, I knew I wanted to be her friend. She’s a reason that a visit to the country is in the pipeline.  I wouldn’t settle with not seeing a good fortune teller there. It’s a thing South Africans do, confirmed Hope. Speaking of South Africa……speaking of Pretoria…..speaking of Oscar Pistorius……speaking of which…..

Alright, a little (albeit shameless) admission here. The tragic news on the Blade Runner and his late girlfriend Reeva Steelkamp caught my eyes because of their looks. Then, something from the online broadcasts of the trial caught my ears. As a result, I stalked all developments like a fanatic. As a result once again, I thought I knew  the case inside out.  
   
On the day when the Judge Masipa was due to deliver her verdict, Hope posted online that her attention was undivided as well.  

On an emotional level, I was dismayed that the sexy-accented Prosecutor Nel couldn’t prove that the killing was intentional. So, I applauded the Judge’s decision against his murder charge. Fair & Balanced! These were the adjectives I threw upon her deliberation. You would think that her manslaughter sentence would be more than what she went on to lavish upon Pistorius. Hope’s no response to my comment was deafening. I felt like a fool with what the following day brought. No, I was a fool. 5 years, ladies, ladyboys, gentle- & not-so-gentle men, 5 years with a possible parole!      

It would be interesting, really, to hear Hope’s take on what has come undone from America’s Ferguson. We’re both outsiders obviously, but I don’t think that should exclude anyone from having an opinion. I get an interesting peek at the Thai society through my international friends all the time. But I’ve learnt my lesson and will be careful with the Americans (of any colour) about this.

That said, my mind is made up on the matter. Heard & watched from afar, the racial divide over there does remind me of how Thai society has to deal with the behaviour of some technical college kids, of how she can never get over herself and deem them as worthy as, say, preppy high-schoolers destined for prestigious universities, of how she’s convinced that these technicians-to-be would never be all that much.        

Holding Your Tongue? Hell No!

Cassandra is an awesome Aussie who raided the city for a while. She is one of Chandler’s best friends.  For a while, we thought Daphne was one of hers as well. 

Daphne “slaves’ for an online shopping site. She also moonlights as a private elocution coach. She’s popular among kids, or so I heard. So, if you’ve got a child to mold plus some cash to burn, why not root for Daphne’s plum pronunciation? In her spare time, she made us learn as well. Whether intentional or not, she taught us poor kids a great deal about friendship and a lack thereof.

Daphne moved her house. Cassandra was there to help. Daphne was uber-prolific with her Facebook statuses. Cassandra was courageous to point that out. Daphne wasn’t coy to call in sick only to air to the world her fabulous long weekends on this and that island.  You’ve got to admire that she keeps her jobs going after all this.

If that sounds like a habit, bet your entire coffer on it. Cassandra, too, had made it her habit to tolerate the fact that their night out could be cancelled at any last minute…..again. Mightily mock a site like Facebook as you may. There are times when damning evidence from there is just too airtight for the accused to deny. Cassandra was shuffling her Shanti cards for me one evening. I was to pick one that shows my main traits. She, as a friend, was to guess one for me to suggest what she thought I lack and should nurture. Rolls adorned her hair, a sure sign of gearing up for an outing. Then Daphne texted to call it off, chalking up to an unexpected malady. We both went on to sight another drinking binge by Daphne et al on the very Facebook. That was it. What’s an expression for this? The straw that breaks the camel’s back?       

“Hey, Missy, I think we’ve got a problem here. I think you know very well what I’m referring to. Maybe other people don’t mind but your style just doesn’t work for us anymore. You don’t value the friendship that  I was offering you, sometimes with so much patience and an averted glance. I’m sad that it had to come to this. But note it’s only because  I respect myself too much,” a private message from C to D later related quotes.  

To her credit, Miss Daft didn’t protest much. To be precise, she didn’t protest at all. “You know what. I think you’re right,” came a terse reply.


To another credit of hers, Daft and I had a closure as well. Towards the end of our last night out, she caught me catching myself in a mirrored pole to the tune of a J. Lo. She gave herself a hearty laugh before blurting out, “Darling, isn’t that just sad?”  

Read my debut novel, "25", right here
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This post first appeared on HappyJoeInTheWorld, please read the originial post: here

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