2:27am

About time to start another impetuous post. The year is ending in a swift and I honestly have no idea what to look upon anymore. Yet it is boring to start off every single post with how disruptive my life has become - a mid-life crisis except that I'm much of an early bloomer.

I did have one single episode where I just sat in the shower naked and weeping uncontrollably for tears had been oppressed for so long, I figured why not just cry in the shower to save paper towels. Or perhaps I have witnessed water droplets flow down the drain an umpteen time, invisible and gone astray.

Then I took the courage to leave the shower after all that has been done. I retreated to my room and let out a soft cry because well, those tear bags shoot mercilessly like fireworks. No matter how much I'm feeling at the moment, I just can't stop crying without a proper explanation.

Usually, it goes like, "omg why were you crying?" or "who made you cry?". And we always had the answer when we were kids.

Somehow my dog witnessed my plight and sat next to me, her wide forgiving eyes looked up and searched for the answer.

All I did was chanting the words "I don't know, I don't even know what to feel"

It's funny at the same time because her short attention span drifted to tasting my ever salty tears.

And here I am, cooled from the storm, or after a short run. Afresh yet cautious for the next coming step.