In reading a lot of sites, professionals and other commentaries, there is a common theme among them in regards to the ability of a personality disordered person to change. Specialists agree it's not possible. They can only learn to cope and handle their disorder. They will never stop being a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, etc.
What's more surprising to this conclusion is how many, particularly Christian based sites, insist they are even beyond the reach of God. They claim these individuals are the result of being handed over to their sin and a depraved mind therefore, are utterly and hopelessly forsaken.
While in some cases that could be true as the Bible does mention God doing such a thing to those who insist on living in their depravity. They also use King Saul, the first king of Israel, and Judas as examples of what we call in modern times personality disorders.
There are hundreds of people in the bible that comprise of manipulative, predatory, pathological lying, opportunists that today would be called disordered. This behavior, biblically, can be catagorized as Satanic, even. The idea behind this is these individuals are beyond all help, reach and change including that of God's. They are stamped "Evil" and consigned to the threshold of hell itself.
The judgment on this is fallacious. It operates under the maligning assumption that the Bible teaches all people are inherently good. That is not what Scripture teaches. It, in fact, teaches all people are inherently evil. Sure, we can look at King Saul, but I can even propose, to the debate, the Apostle Paul as an example of pure pathology and even psychopathy before his conversion.
Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins.
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
'Why do you call me good?' Jesus answered. 'No one is good--except God alone.'"
As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one;"
"All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one."
And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
Since we know the Bible teaches all people are wicked by nature, the chasm between what we call "normal" and "disordered" narrows.
The inference that these people are beyond even God's ability to change them is also erroneous in that it wrongly assumes it is people who choose to follow God. That they make a conscientious decision to look for Him, conform to His standards and live their lives in that conformity. It relies on faulty beliefs man plays a role in his salvation. Since he does, he also must have the ability to grieve his wrongs and seek forgiveness, which the ability to do so the disordered does not have.
Man does not. No human being possesses the ability. The Bible expressly teaches man not only cannot choose God, they also lack any ability to seek Him, even repent of any sin let alone all he's guilty of or live his life spiritually minded pleasing to God and meeting His standards. We all fall into this group, including the disordered.
"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.
The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.
He went on to say, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them."
The Bible says God chooses people, calls them out to Himself, gives them the ability to repent because man doesn't have it by nature, God teaches those He separates for Himself and even gives the motivation and desire to live (pray, study, go to church, etc.) following Him. Theologically and Calvinistically speaking, this is called the doctrine of "irresistible grace".
Salvation, repentance, seeking and living devoted to God is entirely a work of God alone.
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.
From the LORD comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people
Salvation comes from the LORD.
Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death.
For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.
Their logic is based on the assumption that man's free will is all encompassing. It is not. As Creator and Sovereign Ruler over His Creation, God reserves the right to intervene and not only move circumstances to serve His agenda, but this includes His right and ability to override man's freewill and turn the heart and mind of any individual anyway He chooses.
They know not, nor do they discern, for he has shut their eyes, so that they cannot see, and their hearts, so that they cannot understand.
So you see, God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen.
But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he would not let the Israelites go.
For it was the LORD himself who hardened their hearts to wage war against Israel, so that he might destroy them totally, exterminating them without mercy, as the LORD had commanded Moses.
He has blinded their eyes and hardened their hearts, so they can neither see with their eyes, nor understand with their hearts, nor turn--and I would heal them."
Their logic is based on the supposition God is limited in dominion and power over any illness be it physical, mental or personality. To surmise and consign any individual to the point that they are even beyond any help from God is not only tragically ignorant and narrow minded, but dangerous, for us making the presumption. It assumes God thinks and behaves as we do. This not only is destructive to those we aim our barbs at, but also to us.
My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
To us who have been bulldozed by disordered people and left in the ruins among the shattered remains of our lives, what has happened to us is evil. It seems impossible these people could do anything differently or be changed.
With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.
Who are we to presume anything about God or how He operates in regards to His creation? It's shockingly dangerous to do so. We know nothing, but the vapor of our lives that is fragmented and reflective in a cloudy dismal, subjective mirror. He is God. What do we know? We only live 70-80 years. He is eternal. These assumptions about other human beings and God Himself is pontificating and wicked in themselves.
Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
“Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’? “Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
and caused the dawn to know its place,
that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
and the wicked be shaken out of it?
It is changed like clay under the seal,
and its features stand out like a garment.
From the wicked their flight is withheld,
and their uplifted arm is broken.
“Have you entered into the springs of the sea,
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
or have you seen the deep darkness?
Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?
Declare, if you know all this.
“Where is the way to the dwelling of light,
and where is the place of darkness,
that you may take it to its territory
and that you may discern the paths to its home?
You know, for you were born then,
and the number of your days is great!
“Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,
which I have reserved for the time of trouble,
for the day of battle and war?
What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,
or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth? “Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain
and way for the thunderbolt,
to bring rain on pa land where no man is,
on the desert in which there is no man,
to satisfy the waste and desolate land,
and to make the ground sprout with grass?
“Has the rain a father,
or who has begotten the drops of dew?
From whose womb did the ice come forth,
and who has given birth to the frost of heaven?
The waters become hard like stone,
and the face of the deep is frozen.
“Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades
or loose the cords of Orion?
Can you lead forth the Mazzaroth in their season,
or can you guide the Bear with its children?
Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?
Can you establish their rule on the earth?
“Can you lift up your voice to the clouds,
that flood of waters may cover you?
Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go
and say to you, ‘Here we are’?
Who has yput wisdom in zthe inward parts
or given understanding to the mind?
Who can number the clouds by wisdom?
Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens,
when the dust runs into a mass
and the clods stick fast together?
“Can you hunt the prey for the lion,
or satisfy the appetite of the young lions,
when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait din their thicket?
Who provides for the raven its prey,
when its young ones cry to God for help,
and wander about for lack of food?
Narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, it doesn't matter. They are human beings and no less made in the image of God as everyone else is. Because they have been, then it's prudent to leave them to God alone. It is unbecoming and even teetering on a dangerous edge to crucify them by any means, but especially by using God as the spikes.
It's healing to come to know what has happened to us, but it's restorative to accept it, forgive and move on from it. We will get there...