Dark clouds of rain strip the brightness of the sun that once prevailed beneath the garden and into my Soul. There is nowhere to run. There is nowhere to hide. It’s all over the place. What if I just smile and not believe? Would be this just a fantasy? Can I hide until this darkness has gone? Like a child hiding under the blankets during a lightning storm? But I’m not sleeping. I’m still here. No sleep for days. No sleep since the day you Left. No one told you how broken I am? That I am these shards of glass mixed with rose petals that you walk to try to reach eternity? I do not even know if I’m breathing. But I know you’re not going to check it out for me. You don’t give a damn if I’m or not. Whether I’m broken or whole. If the clouds are dark or if the sun is reigning on its throne. You just want me away from you. Away from your soul. Yeah…I’ve done it. Perhaps I have pretended a little to see what your reaction is. And now my soul is as dark as these clouds that cover that garden.

I light another cigarette. Another shot I take in my own heart. Is not that what you wanted? That I did not have a heart? That I’d figure out a way to go? Well, here I am … fulfilling your wish. Without even knowing why. Now I’m stuck with the life you left behind. And I’m tired of being here. God knows how much I’ve been trying to get out of here. Your presence still haunts me. And I just can not just erase it with an eraser. You still hold me in the palm of your hand. Your face haunts my most delicate dreams. There are things that time just can not erase and you insist on continuing to pass them like a horror movie in my head. I tried several times to tell myself that times were gone. That you left. I’ve tried to fight the fears you put on me. But you still have me completely. You still have me completely.

Until when?