Have you ever wake up one day excited to meet your new class, only to enter the classroom and find out that you'll actually be spending your whole day in a test of will power against a pack of hyenas? Well, I have. And let me tell you that it is NOT fun at all!

Lately, my students are all I could think of. I keep thinking whether I have done enough or if there is something that I am not doing. We have already finished a month, and I am doubtful if they are learning or at least interested in anything that I am teaching them. Where did I go wrong/ I am not usually this anxious with the other classes I have handled. But with this particular group, I am being put to the test, once more.

Every day, I walk into our classroom, dumbfounded with the utter chaos. Books, piles of papers, rubbish, and the usual half-empty water bottles, populate every table, and every corner of the room. Even the desk that is intended for the teacher (me) is so messy, it often makes me wonder whether the butcher's chopping block somehow made it into the room. And if that's not enough I also have to get used to the way the room smells. What does it smell like? Well, imagine sweat, mixed with Chinese food, mixed with week-old tea that has gone bad, that kind of smell.

Yesterday, I was only an inch closer to self-pity, thank God I was still able to make sense of it.  I reminded myself that how these students are right now, is not my doing. They have been having a class, for more than half a year before they were placed under my care. And although I cannot pass judgement on the previous teacher who was with them, I came to understand that the problem may have stemmed deeper or further.

The school official in charge of assigning these students promised me another batch come September. I hope that one becomes better than the one I have now. And as for the batch, I currently have to deal with, I just pray that I would be able to make even a small change.