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Why Doubting Yourself And Feeling Like Giving Up Is Normal

Tags: doubt


“If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.”

René Descartes (Philosopher & Author, Discourse on the Method)

“A hero is someone who, in spite of weakness, doubt, or not always knowing the answers, goes ahead and overcomes anyway.”

Christopher Reeve (Actor, Superman)

“Doubt is one of the names of intelligence.”

Jorge Luis Borges (Spanish Author & Poet)

You never forget the feeling of growing up poor.

It’s the small things that stab you in the mind from time to time.

Like watching my Mom try to make meals with barely any groceries.

Crackers and milk for dinner, anyone?

How about tortillas and refried beans for 2 years straight?

Of course, you don’t realize anything is different when you’re growing up.

It’s only after you grow up that it stings.

Having less than others in any capacity can make you feel like you have less value than others.

It’s something that sticks with you.

If you’re not careful, if you don’t channel these seemingly negative feelings correctly, you can end up sabotaging yourself in life.

You’ll set big goals and then actively prevent yourself from achieving them.

You may even get close to achieving these big goals, but then, right before you do, you’ll blow everything up.

You’ll shrink back, create drama, push everyone away, or cause some other distraction.

But why?

The reason is simple…

You don’t believe in yourself.

You don’t value yourself.

As a result, you Doubt yourself.

Then, instead of realizing self-doubt is normal and using it to drive you forward, you feel guilty.

The only escape you can find from this guilt and self-doubt is distraction.

Enter drama.

Enter self-sabotage.

The only way to avoid this is to start seeing self-doubt differently.

3 Reasons Why It’s Normal To Doubt Yourself

Feeling like you want to give up or change your goal is normal.

Especially when things get tough.

Maybe your path to success hasn’t been as smooth as you expected it to be.

Maybe it’s taking you a long time to reach your goals.

Or maybe outside circumstances are making you re-evaluate your goals entirely.

Doubting yourself when this happens is normal.

A study by the European Institute for Leadership and Management showed that 50% of female managers and 31% of male managers experienced self-doubt.

Don’t feel guilty for doubting yourself or your path from time to time.

Not only is it expected and normal, it can even be helpful.

When you invest time, energy, and passion into something you want, not feeling doubtful from time to time would be unusual.

When you’re doubting yourself and feel like giving up, remember that your doubt is merely a sign that you’ve chosen a worthy pursuit.

Realize that doubt is a normal part of the achievement process.

Here are 3 reasons why it’s normal to doubt yourself…

1. Doubt is NOT the enemy.

Doubt, or any setback, is not the enemy.

It’s a helpful evaluator of your current position and an instigator of necessary next steps.

When doubt creeps in, you might even feel defeated and just want to quit.

Don’t feel bad about these feelings.

Instead, lean into them.

Use them to your advantage.

A report from Tech Insider  found that doubting yourself can make you more creative.

In other words, challenging doubt stirs creativity.

Stop feeling guilty for your doubt.

Ditch the shame and let your brain start to come up with creative solutions.

If the direction you’re going and the goals you have set matter enough to you, this process will strengthen your commitment.

If you need to make adjustments, this process will stimulate problem-solving.

When you take on a big goal, it’s easy to forget the reason you started pursuing it in the first place.

It’s easy to lose your way in the forest of obstacles you will encounter.

It’s easy to become doubtful.

Acknowledging that momentary doubt is normal can reignite your passion and reinforce your reasons WHY.

It can help inoculate you against giving up on what really matters to you.

2. Wanting to give up is NOT a sign of weakness.

Giving up is a sign of weakness.

But wanting to give up is normal.

The bigger your goals, the more you’ll want to give up.

Doubt doesn’t come with small goals.

Success and victory don’t come from setting piddly little ridiculous goals that anyone can achieve.

They come from setting big goals that you might not achieve.

Here’s what nobody else will tell you…

You will experience doubt on your way to these goals and this doubt is your biggest strength.

A study reported in Change This found that successful leaders and CEOs often use self-doubt as a catalyst for self improvement to gain clarity about their direction and goals.

The doubt comes because you have big goals and you’re getting closer to getting what you want.

If you think that wanting to give up or doubting yourself is a sign of weakness, you’re wrong.

Never wanting to quit is not a sign of strength, it’s a sign that your goals are too small.

If you find yourself laying in bed at night wondering if it’s all worth it—congratulations—you’re one of the few people who is actually doing something worthwhile.

It means you have a growth mindset.

It’s easy to give up when the outcome is small, when it’s something you can live without.

Why bother continuing to push if it doesn’t matter?

But if your thoughts are consumed with your goal and evaluating whether or not you should quit, this is a good sign.

You’ll either realize that your goal is worth it and charge towards it even harder, or that it’s too small and you need to make it bigger.

3. Doubt does NOT have to distract you.

Quitting when you doubt yourself is normal.

But it’s also a mistake.

Doubt can make you short-sighted and unfocused—if you let it.

You’ll want to start looking for other options and an easy win.

Suddenly everything will start to look more appealing.

Don’t fall into this trap.

Look—greatness comes at a price.

No matter what mountain you’re climbing, there are going to be times when you’ll want to stop and settle before reaching the top.

There will also be times when you’ll want to get off the mountain altogether and start climbing one of the “greener” mountains next to you.

Again, this is normal.

The higher you climb on one mountain, the better you’re able to see all of the other mountains.

But that doesn’t mean you should stop climbing the one you’re on.

It means you should start climbing harder.

Imagine how many other mountains you’ll be able to see and conquer once you reach your current peak.

Don’t give into the temptation to quit.

Don’t buy into the lie that it’s too hard, not worth it, or that doubting yourself means you’re on the wrong path.

Remember, feeling a sense of doubt means you’re on the right path.

The key is to use this sense of doubt to get refocused on your goals.

Now, you know your goal is valuable.

Now, you know you’ve chosen a worthy pursuit.

Doubting yourself and wanting to give up just means you need to refocus on your goal, revisit your reasons WHY, and gather support and energy to keep pushing forward.

Remind yourself WHY you started pursuing your goal in the first place.

Think back to when you felt the most passionate and energized about your goal.

Revisit this passion and energy and allow these powerful emotions to push your forward.

Don’t feel guilty for experiencing a sense of doubt from time to time and don’t try to escape these feelings of doubt with unproductive distractions. In other words, don’t create drama. Don’t sabotage yourself in any way. Instead, start seeing self-doubt differently. Start seeing doubt as a tool you can use to your advantage. Start seeing doubt as a normal part of achieving your biggest goals. Realize that wanting to give up isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It’s a sign you’ve chosen a worthy pursuit. Leverage your doubt to regain your focus and move forward to your finish line.

To learn more about how to turn your doubt into even greater focus, and to get instant access to exclusive training videos, case studies, insider documents, and my private online network, get on the Escape Plan wait list.



This post first appeared on Dr. Isaiah Hankel | How To Be Confident & Focu, please read the originial post: here

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