Had to go up to my college campus today to talk to the magical free money lady, get some books, and find my classes. I wanted to go before lunch so I could have delicious Wendy's chicken nuggets after, but I ended up waking at like 11:30. So I had to get ready lightning fast, only to spend an hour and a half waiting in the Financial Aid Office because everyone and their mom was there. Literally. Now, I'm a horrible terrible person who likes to laugh at others. So if you're a kind soul who likes to love everyone no matter what, don't read this. Or do and just realize that I'm a terrible person and already know.

The first woman in there was huge. Like, massively huge. I don't mean overweight because I am overweight, and overweight doesn't really look that bad. This woman was taking up two whole chairs. Two whole chairs. I didn't laugh so much as I felt bad. I mean, she's in community college and obviously not young. And ginormous. Like, she had two stomachs ginormous. I can't express this enough.

The second person in there was this really hardcore goth guy with gauges in his ears and dark clothing. . . .bouncing around to Corrine Baily Rae* playing on the radio in the office. That made me laugh. It was a lot like this picture:

He was genuinely funny. Then there were the two girls next to me who were pretty in a way that made it look like they were trying too hard. They were kind of harsh to listen to. They were trying to whisper, but it was that louder-than-your-normal-voice-whisper. Their conversation went like this:

Girl 1: Yeah, ohmigosh we need to see <soandso> because everything and I sooo miss high school this sucks!
Girl 2: Me too! But I have this one class first so it will be cool
Girl 1: Ohh, I should have-
Gril 2: Do you need an oil change?
Girl 1: I dunno, why?
Girl 2: I found this ten dollar off coupon in my purse.
Girl 1: Ohhh yeah! Then I do need one, cool.

That was their whole basic conversation, stopping occasionally to giggle at basically nothing. And complaining that they hadn't been called yet.

Then there was a kid whose dad brought him in because he's apparently not a big boy yet and still needs daddy's help to get his shit done. It was extra funny because the boy was dressed like a hardxcore punkrocker with fo-hawked red dyed hair and fancy hot topic clothes.

Nothing was better than the hipster chick. She came in and didn't bother to sign in (As you are required to do- apparently she's so cool that they just knew she was there). Then she proceeded to sit crosslegged on a chair (ironically, of course) and text on her iPhone, with the sound turned all the way up so everyone knew she was talking to people. Now, she was the last person to come in the office. Everyone there had been waiting for at least 30 minutes for someone to talk to. After five minutes of annoying text sounds she goes up to the (overly rude) receptionist woman and says "Is there, like, any other time I can come back when it's not so. . . .busy? I can't wait."

This receptionist looked at her for a long time and said "No, it's the start of the year. It will always be like this, go wait." Only she said it in a hilarious black woman voice filled with contempt. I laughed on the inside when hipstergirl walked out in a huff. I'm sure she had a very ironic concert to go to with a band no one has ever heard of, but she's best friends with.

After my adventures at the financial aid office, I had to go buy my books which wasn't as big of a deal, except that my rental history book says "No marks except yellow highlighter" and I feel like it is a trap. I am renting this book from the college, and they say I can highlight? SUSPICIOUS.

And I did get my delicious Wendy's lunch. . . .AT 2:00. Kinda late but that's okay. It was tasty.

*This is the song he was dancing to.