Ooo, what’s that?

It’s the toy that’s been talked about all over the internet. From its name to its design to its mystical powers, this toy has been put through the gamut by many a reviewer. And the responses are a resounding “Wtf?” In a good way. I think? I’m afraid I’m not much help.

That, there, is The Womanizer W100 by epi24. And it’s got me scratching my head for sure.

What’s it for?

From the press release:

“The Womanizer uses a new type of stimulation technique that delivers a quick, effortless orgasm without desensitizing the clitoris. This affect is produced by using epi24’s PleasureAir Technology – air pressure waves that act as a suction to indirectly stimulate the clitoris. Once the user places the pleasure cap around the clitoris, a delicate seal is created around the area. The Womanizer does not touch the clitoris or its nerve endings during the stimulation process. Instead, it relies on the suction caused by the air pressure waves to stimulate the clitoris. A jeweled button on the device stimulates the strength of sensation that ranges from gentle kisses to a firm suction depending on the intensity level chosen.”

And in theory, this is correct. I mean, it works just like that for me, once I can get it to make a seal. But I have a teeny clit. Teeny weeny. (Haha I made a funny.) I imagine this toy works just like this for other people with clitorises similar in size to mine, and maybe slightly bigger, but if you have a really big clit (no shade, more for me to suck on!), it might actually touch the clit and its nerve endings.

How’s it made?

The body of The Womanizer W100 is…

I have spent months trying to come up with a better description than “an ear thermometer” because everyone is using that description, but let’s face it. That’s what the damn thing looks like.

The body is made of plastic, and all of the designs are pretty kitschy. The one I’ve got is called Black Tattoo, and it’s cute, but if you’re gonna put a tattoo on a vibrator, why not go with something a little less “I just turned 18, and I don’t even really know what love is, but I’m gonna immortalize it on my body anyway!”?

There’s two buttons; one for power, and the other a gemstone meant to turn up the intensity. My gem is a little wiggly and requires almost no pressure to change the setting. And there’s no real way to reduce the intensity once it’s increased without turning the toy off and starting over. You can sort of use the power button, but it doesn’t always go back to the setting you were using before you turned it up.

The Womanizer comes with two silicone suction cups that detach for ease of cleaning, a zippered case for storage, and a USB cable for charging. That’s right. You can charge this sex toy with your computer.

How is it?

So, okay. Let’s just get the business with the name out of the way. Everybody hates it.

The top definition for “womanizer” on Urban Dictionary (at the time of this posting) is:

guy who makes zillions of women think he is in love with them and that he is the best guy in the universe but never know he is making 12774763836543 other women think that too

And that’s accurate, though not all womanizers are men. But it misses the mark just a little bit.

A womanizer doesn’t just make a bunch of women think they’re the best human in the universe. A womanizer doesn’t just convince the women in their life that the womanizer is in love with each of them. Then the womanizer would just be a player. A womanizer is something much more devious.

Contrary to popular belief, womanizers don’t hate women. Womanizers love women. All of them, all of the time. And they have a desperate desire to make all of the women love them back.

A womanizer fawns all over all of the women in their life, as long as it’s convenient for them to do so. When in the presence of a woman, a womanizer spends all of the time making the woman feel good; about herself, and about the womanizer, and about whatever they’re doing (even if it’s something boring, like cleaning the yard). A womanizer goes out of their way to make pretty much every woman in their life feel like the center of the womanizer’s universe. A womanizer knows that wrapping anyone (not just women) around your little finger is all about how they feel when they’re in your presence.

Often, the women around the womanizer know what’s going on. It’s hard not to unless you only ever spend time with the womanizer alone. But there’s something cheap and tawdry about the affection received from a womanizer; something thrilling and irresistible.

And let me tell you…that description is not far off when it comes to this toy.

When I first pressed the toy against my genitals, I thought, “God, I can’t believe I’m doing this. What the fuck even is PleasureAir Technology?” The vibrations surrounding my clitoris felt weird. Not bad, or good. Just…weird.

It took me forever to make a seal. The toy just grumbled angrily at me every time I shifted it. And since I was getting frustrated, and M was getting frustrated (I believe he growled, “That toy is obnoxious as fuck, and makes it impossible to access your cunt”), I turned it off and found something else.

I didn’t cum that first time. Didn’t even get close. Walked away convinced that I was gonna be the one woman the W100 didn’t want to womanize.

Then I had to have oral surgery and a shit ton of fillings (one of which was such a big deal that I really wish they would have just yanked the tooth), and W100 was ignored for a while. There’s nothing you want to do less after oral surgery than fiddlefart around with a toy that works for everyone else, but doesn’t work for you, so you can write a stupid review about how you fail at having a clit.

Okay, there’s probably something, but I can’t think of it right now.

So I put the toy aside for a while, and nursed my aching, disgusting mouth back to health.

The first time I picked it back up again, I made a seal almost immediately. And the sensation was pretty fucking magical, tbh. I’m not very flexible, and I’ve got fat thighs, and M’s got broad shoulders and a bad back, so finding a good position to actually suck on my clit is not the easiest thing in the world. Plus, M’s mouth doesn’t vibrate, and it’s soft, and slippery, and gentle.

The Womanizer W100 doesn’t fuck around. It grabs right ahold of your clit, and doesn’t let go, providing firm sucking pressure to the entire nub of nerves…as long as you’re really wet (or lubed up) and don’t move.

It took seconds to bring me right to the brink of orgasm, which isn’t much of a feat for me. I can get off with my fingers in 30 seconds or less, even if I wasn’t turned on when I started, so a sex toy doing the same is NBD. But then I reached a trigger point where I just knew that if I wasn’t careful, I wasn’t going to orgasm. I was going to skip straight into oversensitivity and not be able to orgasm.

Cool thing: The Womanizer W100 taught me how to stop that from happening. Until that second time I used it, I couldn’t do that. It’s why I only use the Hitachi and Wahl when I’ve been drinking and my body is desensitized. Using them sober ruins my orgasms.

Except maybe now it doesn’t, because I know how to avoid it. Thanks, Womanizer WW100. Lol.

Overall, it’s an okay toy. The orgasms I’ve had from it…I mean, there’s no such thing as a bad orgasm, right? Just mediocre ones. And the orgasms I get from the Womanizer 100 aren’t really mediocre, so much as different from anything I’m used to.

I just wish it wasn’t so loud, and that it had up and down buttons instead of one button to rule them all.

Anything else I should know?

The Womanizer 100 is water resistant, so no submerging it to clean the whole thing, but that’s why the little silicone bit is so awesome. Pop it off, no fuss, no muss, and wash it with warm, soapy water. Bleach or boil it if you wanna. Dry it off, and put it back on.

As for the rest, I just wipe it down with a wet cloth. You can probably use a Qtip with a bit of rubbing alcohol if you feel the need to disinfect inside the sucking part, but I’d make sure the Qtip isn’t soaking, drippy wet to be safe.

I’m not sure how I feel about the idea of this being a shareable toy. ABS is nonporous, but there’s a bunch of little nooks and crannies for fluids to seep into. For people with smaller vulvas than mine, it might be possible to only touch the silicone head when using this toy, but my outer labia tend to wrap around the whole thing. Theoretically, the body of the toy should be capable of being disinfected with rubbing alcohol. I guess share with caution?

Where’d ya get it?

epi24 sent me The Womanizer W100 free of charge in exchange for an honest review. epi24 is a company committed to creating pleasure-enhancing products that encourage sexual wellness while celebrating every woman’s inner vixen.