Just think how would you act, what would your Body language look like if you thought like that about yourself. If you have your life under control and have a purpose in your life would you fidget? Would you move fast and have fast actions? Would you have slumped shoulders? Poor eye contact? Feet close together? I sure hope not.

You see your body language is just a way of expressing your core beliefs – in a way similar to voice tone. This is why you don’t speak fast, in high-pitched shrieks. Ok my personal body language rules.

• NEVER stand with your legs close together, make sure that they are at least 0.5 m/ 2 feet apart.



• Balance your weight on both legs.



• Raise your chest. - Imagine that you have a string attached to your solar plexus pulling you directly up. This will naturally pull your shoulders and head back, flatten your stomach, increase your height and prevent your hands from hanging in front of you (like in our common, less evolved relative).



• When you move, move with purpose. I.e. you must know where you are going before you are moving.



• Walk from your hips, do not lean forward or back.



• Try writing out what you will do each and every day in order. That will give you a sense of purpose and you will get your time managed (check out Master Your Time, by Brian Tracy for more on time management).



• Same goes for gesticulation, don’t make more movements then you need. When you are moving your arms though, imagine that there is a large ball about 60cm (2 feet) in diameter resting on your stomach, with the highest point about 40cm (1,3 feet) away from your nose. (Note the size of the ball will depend on the length of your arms)



• When you gesticulate make gestures that go along the surface of that ball.



• Do not expose your palms i.e. don’t slide further that half way down the ball (below chest level). This naturally suggests that you should not have pointy fingers; they should always be slightly curved in, towards the centre of the imaginary ball. The fingers should be slightly apart so that you could feel a light stretch between your thumb and your little finger when you are gesticulating.



• When you are pointing extend your arm completely and point with one finger or your whole hand.



• Do not move your wrist move your whole arm. Your wrists should be straight almost all the time.



• Slow down ALL your movements from head turning, to blinking to moving.



• Don’t take large steps, they can even be slightly smaller than normal, but make sure that they are powerful and precise.



• NEVER look down AT ALL unless you SERIOUSLY believe that you will trip over something.



• Always look people at eye level ie when you are going up the steps your head should be tilted up to look at the person coming down the stairs in the eye.



• When you are on the street you should look straight ahead. Keep long eye contact. Don’t look away until they do first. The underlook – don’t face the person directly, tilt your head slightly down and look at them directly in the eye from this slightly tilted down head position.



• Push your eyebrows together and narrow your eyes slightly. (I personally don’t often do the latter often now, but it is quite effective).



• Don’t cross your arms or your legs unless you’re freezing your balls off. Keep your arms relaxed and at your sides or if you want you can put one of your thumbs in the topside/back pocket of your jeans/pants.



• When you are sitting take up as much space as is possibly comfortable. I keep my legs apart, however not so much that it feels uncomfortable or strains my muscles.



• Keep your feet parallel. Try putting one of feet slightly forward one back. It’s good if you can put one of your feet on something so it’s located higher than the other (say by about 30cm / a foot) as that shows ownership of whatever you have your foot on. Again make sure that it is something neutral (ie not your or your friends bag but say one of the legs of a swivel chair or a rock) and it should generally be directly under your foot.



• Keep one of your arms on your thigh, close to your crotch but NOT directly on it. If possible have your other arm further away.



• Lean back, shoulders back – remember the chord pulling up from your plexus. Address one issue at a time, so when for example someone calls out your name you finish what you are doing and THEN turn to address them. Remember to turn your head slowly not snap. Remember ALWAYS act COMFORTABLE so that you place no strain on any of your muscles, (this is what comfortable with yourself is). If you feel your muscles becoming sore then you are doing something wrong - move your body until you feel comfortable.



• When you are in a group always be at the front, slightly ahead of everyone. This combined with the rest of your body language shows that you are leading. When someone gets into your personal space tell them to move out. This intrusion can be both with things/belongings or parts of the body.



• I would personally move the stuff back to the centre. Just note though I don’t like to intrude on others space too much because that creates discomfort, and the person may get defensive, instead I just have and keep a large personal space zone, so if I do intrude is seems normal.



• Always walk, sit, and lie in the centre of things. For example when you are walking down a large open footpath walk right in the centre. Sit in the middle of a bench etc. This extends your personal space zone.



• Body orientation – remember whomever your feet and lower body is orientated to, you approve of. This is why when you first start talking to women don’t face them completely. You can turn your upper body but do not reorientate your lower body until she earns it. This works the same with guys mind you.