All the self stuff, self-esteem, self-talk, self-confidence, etc, has always seemed like a bit of positive thinking and pride more than godly. I was wrong. Biblically, we need to understand the truth of preaching to ourselves. Tell yourself the truth. 

Notice how the psalmist talks to himself. He questions himself. What are you doing? Why are you doing it? He says to himself. Then he preaches to himself, saying that he will wait expectantly for God to move. He knows God will move and that he will praise God.

Hey, listen up, he says to himself. Why are you melting away, complaining, and in the dumps? Why are you disturbed and making so much noise? Listen to me, wait on the Lord, expect Him to work. He will. I will praise Him before this is over.

I love how Martyn Lloyd Jones stated it:

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us! Do you realize what that means? I suggest that the main trouble in this whole matter of spiritual depression in a sense is this, that we allow our self to talk to us instead of talking to our self. Am I just trying to be deliberately paradoxical? Far from it. This is the very essence of wisdom in this matter. Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul?’ he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: ‘Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you’. Do you know what I mean? If you do not, you have had but little experience.

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: ‘Why art thou cast down’—what business have you to be disquieted? You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: ‘Hope thou in God’—instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God’.

That is the essence of the treatment in a nutshell. As we proceed with our consideration of this subject we can but elaborate that. The essence of this matter is to understand that this self of ours, this other man within us, has got to be handled. Do not listen to him; turn on him; speak to him; condemn him; upbraid him; exhort him; encourage him; remind him of what you know, instead of listening placidly to him and allowing him to drag you down and depress you. For that is what he will always do if you allow him to be in control. The devil takes hold of self and uses it in order to depress us. We must stand up as this man did and say: ‘Why art thou cast down? Why art thou disquieted within me?’ Stop being so! ‘Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance,’ He, ‘who is the health of my countenance and my God.’1

By preaching the truth of God’s Word to ourselves, we can break free from the victim mindset caused by life’s challenges and hurts, whether inflicted by others or ourselves. We can emerge as victorious overcomers through the transformative power of Christ’s grace. It is crucial to resist our lies and instead focus on the liberating truth guided by the Holy Spirit. We should actively meditate on and declare these truths over ourselves, especially when falling into the trap of self-hatred. 

We preach Bible truth and forgiveness, knowing our Savior unconditionally loves us. Blaming others and holding onto unforgiveness are barriers to our progress, but they are not what God desires. Instead, we must preach grace and release over our souls, rejecting bitterness and embracing His unearned favor for profound healing. Grace not only liberates us from the cycle of brokenness, but also enables us to be a source of healing for others. By preaching Christ’s redeeming, restorative grace to our hearts and minds, we transition from being helpless victims to becoming conquerors, able to overflow with grace into the lives of those around us.

Books that Help

The Ultimate Guide to Building a Healthy and Fulfilling Marriage: Strategies for Forgiveness, Love, and Grace

Are You Called?: A Checklist to Discern Your Calling from God

Inspiring Missions and Empowering Leaders

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