You may hear me saying this a million times. I see my life distinctly divided into my life BEFORE COVID and my life AFTER COVID. I am a decidedly happier person in this post covid chapter of my life than I have ever been before. Why, do you ask? Well, it is not just that I went through hell and lived to tell about, but I have come out a stronger person with a determination to live my best life and share the joy I feel with as many people as possible through this blog and eventually my fiction writing.

So much of my transformation has to do with my Buddhist practice and the tools it gave me. However, I will say, much of my transformation has come from my greater awareness of how much I am loved by my family. Friends are great and many of my friends are like family to me. This is true, but my birth family have been rock stars in supporting me. My siblings have been fantastic. I have two older brothers who inspire me and an older sister who is like my twin sister. I am also blessed with many cousins, nieces, and nephews whose love I cherish dearly.

Yet, I must confess, I hold a special place in my heart for my goddaughter/niece Annie. If you have read prior posts, I have mentioned her and her heroic way in which she has faced starting her life from scratch after her auto accident and subsequent brain traumatic injury.

I have for years long before covid, chatted with Annie during my lunch break on a daily basis Monday-Friday and at times on the weekend as well. We have talked about everything under the sun from wigs, to hair growth recipes, to her menstrual cycle to her feelings about life and her whacky sense of humor.

As much as I try to be a role model for her and a positive example of starting one’s life from scratch as I am doing in my own way as well, she has been a rock of support and growth for me that I cannot fully measure.

I enjoy our many hours of laughing together, arguing about silly things and holding each other accountable for what we say and do. She has her struggles but she also has insight and wisdom she has gained from her own survivor’s journey. She can in a very loving way, let me know when I am being a hypocrite and call me on it without humiliating me or making me feel small. That is a talent not many  people possess, that I can tell you. Yes, she can be blunt at times but she is fiercely loyal to those she loves and expects others to do what they say and say what they mean.  

Her finding happiness in her life matters to me. My being there to help her navigate herself on her own life journey has become more important to me than any joy or passion I had to be a successful actor. For me that is a major shift because acting has been a driving force in my life for many, many years. Nevertheless, as fate would have it, what one finds important changes. 

While I wish she never had her accident or had to suffer all the challenges she has had to and continues to face on a daily basis, her accident profoundly affected the lives of everyone in our family.  

As a Buddhist, I see all of her suffering, the suffering we all went through with covid and my own personal journey as experiences that have allowed e to grow into the person that I always wanted to be but was too afraid would never have the courage to become. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone other than myself.

Nevertheless, the suffering has happened. Nothing can change those events. I have learned through my own experiences and through Annie’s openly sharing her handling of her suffering, that life with its twists and turns can break our spirits or make us stronger.

I see that from my past experiences, I have wasted a lot of my life defining myself by my suffering. These days, with the combination of my Buddhist practice and my chats with Annie, I recognize the importance of handling suffering when it comes because suffering will keep coming. The important thing is to move through it and find your happiness however you can. While Annie isn’t a Buddhist, she has a very Buddhist approach to life.  

Facetiming with Annie is the highlight of my day, but don’t tell her that! It will go to her head! Haha!

She keeps me honest. I keep her grounded. We keep each other laughing as much as possible. What more can I ask for?

I am writing this article because it is important to me to remind myself of all the things that I have to be grateful for.

Focusing on gratitude is the healthiest thing I have ever done for myself. I try to take my gratitude to a place where I feel it deeply because simply listing “5 things I am grateful for each day” doesn’t cut it for me. I, as a writer, want to dig deep, put my gratitude out there and share it with others because life is too short not to be grateful for everything in life that matters.  

I also want to encourage others to look at their lives and acknowledge who and what they are grateful for. It is the best thing you can do for yourself and for others. Be grateful.  Choose to be happy.  It makes life a blast!

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