Every time I sit down to write a blog, I think of what I needed to hear when I went through a painful Relationship or Breakup experience myself, and then deliver that advice to you. This one is particularly close to my heart, because nothing can feel more belittling, painful, confusing, or downright cruel than to have an ex move on like you were absolutely nothing. It’s especially hard following a relationship with a person who you saw as loving and reasonably normal.

Here’s the thing though: the people who ask me the question of ‘how can my ex move on like I was nothing?’ are generally not the ones who were in relationships that were riddled with pain, cheating, dishonesty or terrible behaviour. 

Most of the people saying ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’ were with people who were mostly decent. 

Regardless of the length of the relationship, you went out with them because they were thoughtful, treated you with respect, and possessed a certain amount of emotional intelligence. Therefore, making this current behaviour of acting like you were nothing even more confusing.

Where it goes wrong in our own heads is that we expect the person we were with IN the relationship to behave in the exact same way on the way OUT of the relationship. How does this look in reality?

• Unless your ex was a total asshole throughout, you don’t expect it to feel like a personality transplant has taken place when they breakup with you and then move on so quickly

• Unless you were wearing rose-tinted glasses and in full denial of their personality throughout the relationship, very often this IS the case. It IS the first time you’re seeing their cold, avoidant and dismissive behaviour.

• This then feels even more heart breaking when this person knows you so well – and you know that they know this will be hurting you as much as it is. 

The sad truth is that people unfold. Sometimes the worst thing you’re seeing about your partner for the first time is when they are on their way out of their relationship with you. 

Someone unfolding to reveal this type of behaviour about themselves doesn’t mean all their good qualities got erased and that you now ‘never even knew them’. It does mean you are getting a well-rounded understanding of who they are as a person.

When readers say, ‘my ex Moved on quickly like I meant nothing’, I actually find it one of the simpler breakup issues to explain. More times than not, the answer is clear as day.  

I’m going to explain in detail what this answer is, why your ex is doing this to you, and show you how to take this knowledge forward into your own breakup recovery. 

My ex moved on like I was nothing: the reasons why

You can search online for this question and get given a thousand different reasons as to the ‘why’. For me though, this one is simple. Do you know how HARD it is to do a breakup in the ‘right’ way? 

Facing your breakup and getting over it properly means feeling immense grief. These are the terms we are talking in – not wishy-washy breakup language. These are the same emotions you’d be facing if someone you loved died.

It’s processing the death of a dream and all that went with it for your future with them. Perhaps this included children, a home, a social life, and near-constant companionship. 

Activities like cooking, watching television, walking your normal commute to work, sleeping, or even using your phone/brushing your teeth now feel and look very different. They come loaded with a new array of painful feelings. 

It’s then the genuine and very painful rearrangement of your day-to-day life in its tiniest forms. I know this is what sometimes felt the hardest of all for me during my own breakups.

Do you know what all the above takes, though? IMMENSE strength and energy. 

There’s a reason why people from all walks of life, success and status all succumb to the same crushing pain that accompanies a breakup. These are all the same people who say ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’. 

There is something that can be done which makes all the above breakup pain disappear for a while. Those two things are denial and replacement, and that is EXACTLY what your ex is doing right now regarding your breakup.

Instead of feeling your breakup pain head on and facing the realities of your new empty life day by day, it’s easy to mask the pain. How do you do that? By avoiding thinking about your ex, your past with your ex, the pain you have caused your ex, and how your ex might be coping now.

If you are in this position and saying to people ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’ right now, these are your reasons why.

1. Seeing you in YOUR pain is too painful for them

We ALL have the right to end relationships that are no longer working for us, and continued contact post-breakup is not a requirement for anyone. 

However, we imagine that if the shoe were on the other foot and WE were the one doing the breaking up, we’d acknowledge the tremendous hurt our ex would be feeling. We like to think we’d then act in kind, considerate, and thoughtful ways to minimise their hurt.

Sometimes, that’s just too much for your ex to face (or even think about). Cue them then acting like they have had a personality transplant. 

I was once the unlucky recipient of a truly blindsiding breakup. It was hideous, and I reacted with shock, anger, and ugly crying in front of him. I struggled to make any sense of it ending out of seemingly nowhere. I felt like my situation epitomised the expression ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’.

I could NEVER have anticipated how cold and dismissive he would be once he had delivered the breakup to me. 

His refusal to speak to me beyond that day (sending my belongings in a trashbag via an Uber driver to avoid any contact) and then be seen by my friend on a dating app a week later was truly the worst pain I ever experienced.

Do you know what it all means if an equivalent scenario is playing out for you right now?

This is someone showing you through his UNFOLDING and his ACTIONS that he is totally incapable of meeting you in your pain. He is unable to acknowledge that your feelings and hurt are partially (mostly) a reflection of his doing. 

That has nothing to do with you. NOTHING. 

So, when you say or think that your ex has moved on like you meant nothing, stop believing that this behaviour has come about from you as a person and your lack of perceived worth. It is ALL about him.

2. Facing their life without you feels too much

Even if your relationship was headed south for a long time and you both wanted it to end, we often surprise ourselves at how utterly miserable we feel when it’s over. Especially when we are the ones who instigated the breakup.

I remember being devastated when I chose to breakup with someone. Even though I wanted it to end, I surprised myself at how terrible I felt afterwards. Instead of relief that I’d ripped the bandage off and ended it, all I felt was horrendous pain seeing the other person so upset and experiencing my own loneliness and sadness. 

Rather than taking the time to accept the new place I was in, I was desperate to fill it with something else, so I didn’t have to sit in the pain (and think about the hurt I had caused).

Instead of instantly labelling your ex as a terrible person who is behaving like you never existed, see it as his way of dealing with the same pain you are both facing – even if he instigated the breakup. 

Whichever way he has chosen to move on (and if you are currently feeling like ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’), remember that breakups hurt – period. How we feel (and act) after them on either side of the breakup table can surprise us.

3. Replacement is an instant emotional band-aid

This one doesn’t read easily, but sometimes your ex moved on very quickly either because they were just mentally or emotionally checked out of their relationship with you long before it finished. Most of the time though, their need to avoid their pain that will open in the breakup gap comes at all costs.

I think of this scenario as like applying retinol to your face. We all know retinol gives us smooth, exfoliated, and wrinkle-free skin – yet how we prepare our face for this treatment is crucial for achieving those desired results.

Taking the time to cleanse your skin, letting it dry, prepping it with a good base ingredient and THEN applying the retinol means it gets straight to work at the perfect time – before you go to sleep.

Think of that slow preparation period as you in your breakup – taking the time, processing what happened, focusing on yourself, looking bare and scary, thinking about what you want out of your future and next relationship and doing things that are genuinely good for you.

Think of your ex as flinging retinol onto a face that is covered with makeup at the end of a long day and expecting it to work. 

Sure, it might reduce a wrinkle here and there, and it might make him feel like he’s doing something useful for his face and his wrinkles. In time though, spots are going to creep in, a rash might flare, and the treatment is just going to sit on the top of the gunky skin rather than sink in and get to work on a deeper level.

Take the time to metaphorically wash your face after your breakup. Know that he isn’t doing this, and he’ll pay an emotional cost at the end.

4. Breakup motions are too hard to go through

When I think of my breakups (especially when they are fresh and new) I recall the feeling of life slowing down. It’s almost as if someone pressed the playback speed on my life and nearly reduced it to a standstill. 

Getting through one day carrying so much pain can feel immensely hard – let alone thinking about meeting someone else or resembling a semi-happy human being. 

Applying any of those habits above means your ex can still hurtle through life without having to face the realities of a breakup. This is the exact thing YOU are going through now. 

I think a lot of the time, the type of people who caused their ex-partners to say ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’ are often regretful later of their actions. 

We all do things we regret when we are in pain or under emotional stress, and despite it all feeling so personal, I don’t think it is. Where are these people left later down the line?

• They often later wish they took the time to themselves. 

• They wish they didn’t carry the guilt for hurting their partner through their callous actions. 

• They wish they hadn’t tangled another person up in their web of pain.

• They wish they now didn’t need to face another breakup or collateral damage from getting a new partner involved.

Think back to if you’ve ever been that person who just met someone, and you thought they weren’t over their ex? Or they were still reeling from breakup pain, and you were only intended as their distraction method? It felt rubbish, and not an enviable position to be ‘his new girl’ or rebound. 

As much as you are hurting right now, I PROMISE it is a better, healthier, and more productive place than where he is. If you are saying to yourself today ‘my ex moved on like i was nothing’, then my promise to you is that you will come out x1000 better when the 20:20 hindsight vision kicks in later.

Is there a chance he might not have moved on?

You can probably tell from what I’ve written that there is absolutely every chance he may not have moved on.

You could analyse each and every thing he is doing right now – a variation of any of the things I have written about above – and it could all indicate he has indeed NOT moved on. 

Yet, this is about you and where you are today. You’ve come here because you want to feel better after your breakup, you didn’t come here to get validated over the fact that he’s not over it.

As I write today, I look down at a lovely engagement ring on my finger. I don’t say this to brag . I say it because I think of the incredible person I am with today that NEVER thought that would EVER be a possibility for me.

I look at my hand, and I think of some of the appalling breakups I went through (probably very similar to what you are feeling now) and the pain I was put through where I felt like my literal sanity was tested.

How I WISH I had spent less time agonising over them and their behaviour following painful breakups. How I wish I applied that same laser focus to my own pain, my own recovery action plan, and my own desire to get something better for myself.

One last thing. If I could give you any advice if you are circling this experience, it is to not focus on what he’s got going round in his head. You can see his actions and that’s enough in itself. Focus on your pain, on the space ahead of you, and begin to realign on the rest of your life and how you want it to look. 

How to deal with your ex moving on like you were nothing.

• Remind yourself (every second of the day if necessary) that this has NOTHING to do with you. 

• Remind yourself that where you are now may suck, but in comparison to him, you’re actually sitting on a launching pad. 

• Remind yourself that sometimes people behave in ways that you could never, ever have anticipated. We don’t always get someone’s true personality blueprint, and this is one of life’s toughest lessons.

• Ultimately, remind yourself of why you’re reading this. You’re reading this because you were ALWAYS destined to be with someone better – someone who will never cause you to type this kind of question into Google again

Could relationship coaching help you?

If I could recall one strong feeling throughout my breakups, it was always that of total disorientation and feeling lost on my path. 

Long-term or short-term relationship endings totally knocked me sideways, and I always found it so hard to get back on my feet again and feel hopeful for my future – even if I ‘knew’ what my breakup was actually about and had tried to work on myself. 

The recovery time was often deep, dark and – most of all – lonely. Most of the time, I also felt embarrassed that I was taking so long to ‘get over it’.

Coaching after a breakup was something I would have loved, because I lacked connection, direction, and a focal point after my breakups. 

It also felt like I overworked my friends and family, and seeing a therapist felt too formal (not to mention difficult or expensive). 

If I knew that I had time set aside that was dedicated to myself and my breakup with someone who wasn’t a therapist or a known friend, I think I’d have felt an immediate sense of control when everything else in my life and future was OUT of control. 

With my coaching business, I created what I wish I had back then. 

Unlike therapy where conversations can be set by ethical guidelines and considerations, coaching can be more open and honest. By sharing some of my own relatable experiences, it is my hope that you will start to feel less alone in what you are going through and feel better fast. 

Rather than letting your breakup consume every waking second and waste your precious life, carving out time to dive into it with someone who can genuinely relate can restore a sense of great hope and focus. You can access my services here.

My ex moved on like I was nothing: a summary

If you are in this position today and feeling like ‘my ex moved on like I was nothing’, I want to remind you of two things.

• You being left to feel like you were ‘nothing’ is merely showing the empty void within your ex – not you. It’s showing you HIS weaknesses, HIS inabilities to communicate or extend any emotional empathy, and HIS lack of emotional maturity. How does any of that come down to you being ‘nothing’?

• Sometimes the most painful and baffling behaviour you see from someone you loved is the first time you’re seeing it – what a bitter pill that is to swallow. Don’t ever interpret his behaviour as a reflection of you and your worth. This is your time to double down on the very things he is not doing, and I promise better days are ahead by doing this.

I hope this blog post gives you the much-needed boost that you need. I promise, PROMISE that better days are ahead for you. I am total proof of that – and I’d love to help you on your own journey.

Love Georgina x

My ex moved on like I was nothing FAQs

How do you know if your ex has completely moved on?

Knowing if your ex has completely moved on can be a challenging task. There are a few signs that might indicate their emotional detachment.

• If they no longer show any interest or curiosity about your life or current relationship status, it is likely that they have moved on.

• If they have started dating someone new or are in a happy and healthy relationship, it can be a clear indication of their emotional progress.

• If they have stopped reaching out or trying to communicate with you. This shows that they have accepted the breakup and have moved on with their life.

• If they appear genuinely happy and content without you, it might suggest that they have fully let go of any feelings for you.

What does it mean when an ex moves on quickly?

When an ex moves on quickly after a breakup, it can be a confusing and difficult experience. It may leave you questioning the depth of the relationship and wondering if it meant anything to the ex at all. There could be several reasons behind this swift moving on:

• The ex had already emotionally detached themselves from the relationship before the breakup even occurred They may have been mentally prepared for the end of the relationship long before it actually happened, and as a result, their ability to move on quickly is simply a reflection of their readiness to let go.
• The ex is using this quick rebound as a coping mechanism to deal with the pain of the breakup. By immediately seeking out a new relationship, they may be attempting to distract themselves from the emotional turmoil they are experiencing. 

How do you know if your ex is still not over you?

Your ex might still not be over you if they continue to reach out to you. They may text or call you frequently, wanting to stay in touch and keep the lines of communication open. They might also become jealous or possessive when they see you with someone new. If your ex is constantly interrogating you about your dating life or acts upset when they hear about your new relationships, they probably still have feelings.

Why do guys act like nothing happened after a breakup?

After a breakup, it is not uncommon for guys to act like nothing happened. There could be a few reasons behind this behavior. First, some guys may use this as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from getting hurt or appearing vulnerable. Acting like nothing happened allows them to avoid facing their emotions and the pain of the breakup.

It could also be their way of trying to move on quickly. By pretending that the breakup didn’t affect them, they may hope to convince themselves and others that they are fine and ready to move on.

Another reason could be the fear of confrontation or awkwardness. Guys may avoid acknowledging the breakup in order to avoid any uncomfortable conversations or interactions with their ex-partner. Some guys may simply not know how to deal with or express their emotions, causing them to behave as if nothing happened. 

Do exes come back when they think you’ve moved on?

When exes believe that you have moved on, there is a possibility that they might come back. This behavior could stem from multiple reasons. First, they may have a fear of missing out or a fear of losing control. Seeing you happy and content without them could trigger feelings of regret or jealousy. Second, they might realize that they made a mistake and genuinely want to give the relationship another chance. They could have reached a point where they see that their lives are not as fulfilling without you. Lastly, some exes might come back simply out of curiosity. They want to see if they still hold a place in your life or if you have completely moved on. However, it is important to note that not all exes will come back, even if they think you have moved on. 

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