In the beginning, i realized that I will have to fight my Nafs day and night to make it through. After the 1st day, there was not a day that I didn’t want to sleep and not go to Class. Everyday after the first day, I would wake up groggy but I would still get up and get ready for class. I would be in class even if late a few minutes. Better late than never was the motto for me but I became aware of another motto, the program’s motto. It was made of 2 rules;

1. Never Quit

2. Remember rule 1

For the duration of the program, I did not miss a single day which was a positive thing but something else was happening. Although I would be late at most 5 minutes to 10 minutes, it was becoming a routine and the program director became aware of this. I was starting to prepare myself for the possibility of being expelled from the program. So I decided to become sincere in my efforts, prayed and prepared myself for the test rather than the idea of being expelled. 

I was getting anxious as the tests for the certification were coming up, I was late on some class assignments that decreased my grades and I had this feeling where I wasn’t prepared enough and that I wasted significant amounts of time outside class instead of studying . I use any negative emotions as a springboard to jump higher and make changes that are paramount in my life and I urge everyone of you reading this to try and use their negative feelings and thoughts and channel it to a meaningful place. 

To get back on track , I started by tackling the grades that had an effect on whether I’ll stay in the program or be expelled. I had to have a 70% to stay in the program and anything below that will get you an expulsion after a certain grace period of course. I got the important assignments that had weight done and slowly I worked till I was confident enough to now turn my focus on the upcoming tests. Time was running out and I still had this feeling of not being ready for the exams. It was time to shift focus and now picture the end in mind as this would elevate some of my worries a lot . 

When you have 2 weeks left before the end of the program, it creates a sense of urgency. I wanted to be certified before those 2 weeks ended and to do that , I would have had to take the 2 tests required for a certificate. The first time I went to do the test, I failed as I went and did a wrong one. I was given a second voucher and was told if I failed this one , I would be out of vouchers and would have to pay out of pocket for the tests . I passed the second test and the program director and instructors decided to give me a 3rd voucher because they made a mistake on the first voucher which led me to take the wrong test. I went with my voucher in hand and passed the second test and that made certified.

I went from not wanting to show up to showing up, being late in assignments to catching up, thinking of the possibility of being expelled to finishing the program and getting certified a day after the program ended and being the first person to get 3 vouchers in a program.What did I learn from that experience? I learnt first of all that I have to compete with myself , my inherent self that wants the comfortable situations, the lazy self to become a better person. I learnt to use negative feelings and thoughts as a catalyst for change. I learnt to never quit. I learnt a lot really and I am grateful, Alhamdulillah. Thanks for reading and please don’t forget to give me feedback.