Inside: Overstimulation has become a serious issue for teens and their parents. 24/7 technology and non-stop schedules have everyone overwhelmed, angry, and on edge.
If you’re the Parent of a teenager, you have most likely experienced more than your fair share of frustration, anger, and impatience. Oh, and let’s not forget overwhelm. These are typical emotions running high in households with adolescents, and both the parents and the Teens are experiencing them. No wonder it seems like the air is always charged and that any encounter can blow up in an instant.
Related: Why Your Teen Feels Like All You Do Is Criticize Them And How To Fix It
Overstimulation or sensory overload can put everyone on edge, and it is part of what interferes with having a healthy parent/teen relationship. However, if you ask teens and parents what is at the root cause of all of this, they often will each point the finger at the other.
And yes, to a certain extent, some conflict is to be expected as a part of the teen/parent relationship. Teens are pushing boundaries and trying to exert their independence, while parents are trying to manage all the unpredictable teen behaviors that go along with this stage. It’s not easy.
Related: Setting Boundaries with Love: 3 Tips for Managing Challenging Teen Behavior
However, it might be surprising to discover that there is more going on under the surface. Overstimulation is a silent saboteur of teen/parent relationships, and it has become increasingly powerful in the last few decades without anyone fully realizing the extent of its growing influence.
Overstimulation Is Just As Real For Teens As It Is For Young Children
When your teens were little, this might have been something you thought about more often. When small children stay up too late, eat too much sugar, or just in general have too much going on at once, the signs present themselves quickly and obviously. Meltdowns and tantrums were generally the end result and parents knew that the child might need a nap or at least some quiet time.
On occasion, parents often realized it wasn’t just their child who needed a little time out. You may have had moments when you shut yourself in the bathroom just to get a breather and pull yourself together.
As our kids get older, the sources of overstimulation may change, but it is still a very real thing. In some ways, because of changes in our culture in the last few decades with more technology and more achievement-based pressure as our children age, overstimulation has become an even bigger problem for parents and teens.
Overstimulation is a mental and emotional state that occurs when someone’s senses are taking in more stimuli than their brains can process.
We are all suffering from information and entertainment overload. Most teens and adults feel tethered to their smartphones, and push notifications often cause feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. Many teens’ schedules leave no room for downtime with school, activities, volunteer work, homework, part-time jobs, social activities, and whatever else they try to cram into their day. And as parents, we’re trying to keep track of their stuff along with all our own commitments. It’s a logistical nightmare and Way. Too. Much. Stimulation.
It’s making us all grumpy, exhausted, strung out, and overwhelmed 24/7/365. And so, while the parent/teen dynamic has always been tumultuous, this is only adding way more fuel to the fire.
Signs Your Teen May Be Overstimulated
Here are a few signs that your teen is overstimulated:
- Difficulty completing simple tasks
- Overreacts or flies off the handle because of minor disruptions
- Constantly exhausted even when you’re getting enough sleep
- Feeling overwhelmed at small tasks
- Struggling to control emotions, particularly crying out of nowhere
- Feeling hopeless
- Constant retreat into their bedroom or another quiet place
- Stomachaches, headaches, or other physical symptoms.
*Note: these symptoms can also be the signs of other mental health conditions. As with any illness, seek treatment from your family health practitioner or a licensed mental health therapist if symptoms persist.
8 Ways Parents Can Help Teens With Overstimulation
Both parents and teens can take proactive steps to combat overstimulation and create a healthier balance in their lives. Here are some strategies:
1. Set Boundaries around technology:
Parents can mitigate overstimulation by setting some clear rules regarding screen time, phone usage and social media. Simple tricks like turning off notifications can make a big difference. The constant pushing of information to our phones, watches, and devices can impact our attention span, increase our anxiety, and put us on a heightened sense of alert.
Encourage your teen to take a hard look at the content they are consuming on a daily basis. A steady diet of violence or conflict, flashing video games, or bad new could be causing overstimulation. Sometimes simply pulling back a little, taking breaks, or varying activities can make all the difference.
Parents need to model healthy tech habits to our teens so they know how to apply these when they’re out of the house. When possible, prioritize family time without screens or tech free zones, including no phones at meals or in bedrooms at night. It’s also good to check in regularly about how they are spending their time online, and how much.
Related: The Benefits of a Family Digital Detox And How To Do It
2. Encourage outdoor activities
It may sound hokey to your teen, but there is so much science behind the benefits of nature to our mental health. People who spend time outdoors often have better attention spans, experience less stress, have reduced risk of psychiatric disorders, and are generally more happy. Whenever possible, encourage your teen to get outside, and if you can do it together as a family, even better.
3. Teach time management
Overstimulation often feels like a loss of control over our lives. Teaching adolescents how to manage their time better can help them balance their responsibilities, social lives, and downtime. If teens can learn how to manage their commitments, they are at decreased risk of becoming overwhelmed and shutting down.
It’s important to regularly evaluate the time commitments that parents and teens have both individually and together. Determine the value of these commitments and if any can be eliminated. It’s also important to set limits on the number of commitments for everyone in the family and commit to removing a commitment if another is going to be added.
It’s also important to schedule free days and downtime (margin time) and build it into the weekly schedule for everyone to get a break OR to have a way to absorb unplanned issues without feeling stressed or constantly crunched for time.
There are many organizational tools like planners or organizational apps that can help teens manage their day-to-day lives. Check out this post: 5 Amazing Organizational Apps for Teens.
4. Promote Mindfulness
If you feel like you are hearing more and more about mindfulness and meditation, it’s with good reason. Research has shown that teens who consistently practice mindfulness experience lower rates of anxiety and depression. Mindfulness also leads to better sleep, stronger relationships, and increased self-awareness, which all benefit a teen’s overall health and happiness. You may also like to read Six Of The Best Mindfulness Apps For Teens To Help Them Manage Life
Getting adolescents to buy into meditation and mindfulness can be tricky at first. One way is to highlight the many athletes and entertainers who are using mindfulness to quiet their brains from outside noise, such at Taylor Swift, the quarterback of the 2024 National Champion University of Michigan football team J.J. McCarthy, and two-time Superbowl winner Patrick Mahomes.
5. Teach them to identify overstimulation and the triggers
No teen wants to feel like they are receiving a lecture or told how they are feeling, but we can teach our teens to name their emotions and understand underlying triggers. Learning what stimuli cause you to feel overwhelmed is the first step towards understanding how best to manage overstimulation.
It can be extremely challenging to try to rationalize with an emotionally-charged teenager. What we can do however, is try to help them learn how to manage it. This means trying to help our teens understand what they are feeling and how to cope with those emotions. Once they know what their triggers are, they can understand how to set boundaries.
For example, some teens may be overstimulated by loud crowds, so coming home to a loud home life can be excessive. Encouraging your teen to take ten minutes after school to decompress without any additional stimuli can make a huge difference. Or, if your teen bursts into tears for no reason, instead of telling them to stop crying, iyou may suggest they take some deep breaths, see if they are hungry or thirsty (hunger can cause overstimulation), suggest they lay down for just a few minutes, or even give them a hug (touch can help calm the nervous system.)
The end goal is to help your teen understand what caused the overstimulation and how they can get through it.
6. Encourage your teen to find a hobby
One of the problems in our culture today is that we often pursue activities for achievement or to put a line on a resume instead of for personal fulfillment or joy. Teens who have a hobby that they can do just for fun are often more content and experience fewer mental health challenges. Having something they love to do without stress or obligation can be a great tool to manage overstimulation. Exercise, crafting, cooking, reading, volunteering, fishing, etc. are all great ways for teens to decompress and reset. Related: 50+ Screen-Free Activities for Tweens and Teens
7. Encourage face-to-face connection
It’s no secret that many people feel lonelier than ever despite that we have more ways to connect than ever before. This underscores the need for face-to-face connection. Many parents of teenagers say something that is very difficult to overcome is how family time is often the various members sitting in the same room on different screens. This can be unintentionally contributing to overstimulation for the entire family.
Instead, consider scheduling dates of family time that is off-screen. This can include grabbing coffee or frozen yogurt, family game nights, running errands, sporting events/concerts, exercising, etc. Related: The Best Connections – How To Have Fun Together With Your Teen
8. Prioritize sleep
Just like when they were toddlers, everything is worse when the family isn’t getting enough sleep. There are so many reasons why teenagers don’t get enough sleep, and it’s no surprise that lack of shuteye can contribute to so many physical and mental health conditions. The research says that teens need AT LEAST eight hours of sleep each night, but ten is even better.
Related: Teens Have Bad Sleep Habits, But It’s Not All Their Fault
Parents and Teens Can Work Together To Reduce Overstimulation
By implementing these strategies, parents and teens can work collaboratively to combat overstimulation and foster a healthier, more balanced lifestyle. This will enable everyone to feel better both physically and emotionally–and more importantly will contribute to better relationships between teens and parents.
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