Inside: Teens are experiencing a loneliness epidemic and while the causes are not clear, there are clear steps parents can take to help.

This is a contributed post from Kathryn Rawson, PhD, Coachbit.

It is no surprise that the COVID-19 pandemic caused a sudden rise in feelings of loneliness among teenagers. Surprisingly though, studies found that the surge began before the pandemic.

A study conducted in 2018 reported that 20% of children and adolescents consistently feel lonely, and more than one in one in five millennials in the USA report having no friends at all. Teen loneliness is a global issue and is getting progressively worse.

Why Are Our Teens So Lonely?

The pandemic certainly contributed to the rise in teen loneliness today. The shift to online schooling and isolation from friends led to feelings of disconnect and social isolation.

Other factors also impact feelings of disconnect and isolation among teens severely. These include

• Increased usage of social media, smartphones, screens, and gaming.
• The decline of traditional community structures, such as youth centers, religious communities, libraries, and sports associations
• Contactless culture: Uber Eats, online shopping, Amazon, etc.
• Bullying and peer pressure

Related: Our Teens Are Completely Stressed Out: Here Are 7 Simple Ways to Help

Smartphones, Social Media, and Loneliness

The connection between social media usage and feelings of loneliness is strong in adolescents. In a 2019 study, teenagers who spend more time on social media reported being more lonely than their peers who spent less time scrolling on these online platforms. Studies have begun to look at how the teenage brain reacts to rejection and acceptance by peers on social media. Reactions to rejection in the brain are far stronger than reactions to those to acceptance.

Teenagers are highly sensitive to social rejection, and unfortunately, social media and other online platforms can be breeding grounds for bullying, rejection, and social exclusion.

Related: Technology Can Make Your Teen Anxious And Depressed, Here’s How To Help

Belonging vs. Fitting In

Loneliness hits all of us hard. That’s because our need to be socially connected and belong is intrinsic. Evolutionarily speaking, belonging to a group was essential for survival.

As teenagers, belonging first takes place in our immediate family. Second to the family is belonging to a social group – which, for many teenagers, takes place at school.

A teenager’s sense of belonging within a group or school setting influences their perception of themselves as valuable and meaningful group members.

However, many teenagers are very good at doing what they must to fit in and meet their social groups’ standards. Fitting in is not true belonging. Brene Brown, the best-selling author of Daring Greatly, explains,

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

Related: Navigating My Teens through Peer Rejection is Hard on My Heart

What Can Parents Do To Help Lonely Teens

Manage social media use

We don’t advocate cutting social media or smartphones out of teens’ lives completely. Studies have shown that teens who spend less than 30 minutes online daily experience poor mental health outcomes – just as much as those who spend too much time online daily.

These studies recommended a sweet spot for teens – between 60 and 90 minutes online daily. But how do you cut down the time your teen spends online?

• Create device-free zones at home (the dinner table, study area, or bedroom)
• Install tracking apps on their phones to track their daily screen time and set limits
• Establish device-free times (before bed or first thing in the morning)

Related: Here Are The Tech Rules You Need To Be Setting For Your Tweens and Teens

Eat together as a family

New research from the University of Oxford shows that communal eating increases social bonding and enhances feelings of community. Kids who eat dinner with their parents regularly report feeling closer to their parents and do better in school. So how do you get your teenager off their phone, out of their bedroom, and at the dinner table?

• Choose a specific time for dinner each evening, and stick to it
• Make sure the tv is off and phones are out of sight
• Prepare meals and clean up together at least once a week.
• Plan your weekly meal schedule as a family, and include at least one fun night (a theme, a fun cuisine, or dinner at a restaurant)

Related: Don’t Stop Doing These 5 Things When Your Kids Are Teens

Consider a life coach for teens

Recent research has shown that when kids turn 13 they prioritize outside voices over their parents. They usually turn to friends or other adults. Many parents have equipped their kids with a life coach, providing them with a trusted source of support to navigate the difficulties that come with adolescence.

In-person life coaching can be tricky for teens to get on board with, but lately, more tech-savvy solutions are available. Coachbit is a life-coaching mobile app for tweens and teens. A dedicated life coach meets daily with your teen and equips them with the life and study skills they need to thrive.

More than anything, a life coach becomes a trusted friend – helping teens feel less alone and putting parents at ease.

Related: If you’d like to learn more about life coaching for teens click here: Coachbit

Our teens are facing a loneliness epidemic, and we, as parents and caregivers, must recognize the signs. Just because they may be surrounded by friends, or absorbed in social media or gaming, does not mean they are not lonely.

Parenting teens and tweens can be hard, but these popular posts other parents found helpful just might make it a little easier.

Watching My Lonely Teen Navigate High School Breaks My Heart

Four Ways Parents Can Help Their Teens Have A Positive High School Experience

Dear Teen: Sometimes You Don’t Find Your People in High School

This post may contain affiliate links.

The post Our Teens are Lonelier than Ever: 3 Ways Parents Can Help appeared first on parentingteensandtweens.com.