On Halloween, Ava texted me. She wanted to get together for Dinner. Ava also had to pick up what I could not fit into the truck to move it to the storage unit this afternoon. We don't get kids in the condo complex, and I have never passed out candy here, so I was free.

"Why aren't you passing out candy with your boyfriend?" I ask in the truck on the way to dinner.

"He's Jewish; he doesn't do that sort of thing."

I was unsure what being Jewish had to do with passing out candy, but after asking a few follow-up questions, the only clear thing was that she preferred being out with me to being home. 

Ava made it over early, so we had time for dinner. We don't usually get together on Monday, but Ava seemed full of pent-up energy. We ate dinner at California Pizza Kitchen at an outdoor mall. The restaurant and mall were empty. Everyone was home for Halloween. We had warm weather the past two days, so we walked the mall after dinner. 

When we got back to the condo, Ava sorted through her things, and we loaded her car. After, we headed upstairs for some fun in bed. Ava left around 11:30, stating she was heading back to her boyfriend's house. 

I met Ava the following afternoon at the storage unit to unload her stuff. "Isn't that the same outfit you were wearing yesterday?" I asked.

Ava glossed over my comment with an unclear reply. The night before, she indicated she wanted to return to SA to find another outside arrangement. She considers it work and doesn't see how it harms her relationship. I can see a multitude of ways it does.

I have to break from the narrative to discuss my thoughts on this. I have no problem with Ava choosing to pursue arrangements. She makes more money doing that than her other pursuits. It says to me, though, that despite her boyfriend's good qualities, he is not enough. At best, he is a good fallback if, in five years when her options begin to narrow. 

She is opening herself up to better options by continuing to engage in outside relations. I think, at this point, she has lost her ability to pair bond with anyone. Call me old-fashioned, but statistics show the more partners a woman has, the less likely they are to be happy in a relationship. 

I am no different than Ava. I have reduced relationships to commodities. I am not sure if that is due to my experiences or society. Maybe that is one of the reasons we get along. It gives me much to think about. I have been thinking about a few things lately, like closing doors to all the past, to the things that no longer bring me joy.