From songs and poems to novels and movies, romantic love has been one of the most enduring subjects for artwork through the ages. But what about the science? Historical, cultural, and even evolutionary evidence suggests love existed during ancient times and across many parts of the world. Romantic love has been found to exist in 147 of the 166 cultures looked at in one study. Psychological research over the past 50 years has investigated the differences between liking someone, loving someone, and being "in love". Liking is described as having positive thoughts and feelings towards someone and finding that person’s company rewarding. In some instances, we choose to be emotionally intimate with these people. We’re living in an era where the self-love revolution is gaining momentum, yet we have trouble doing the work; it goes against everything we were raised to believe. We were never taught self-love in school, and most of us didn’t learn about it in our homes. We learned to put others first.

We learned the importance of success. We learned to work hard and make money. But we didn’t learn how to keep ourselves feeling fueled for that journey. Self-love is our fuel; it’s the foundation for who we are. Everything builds on top of this foundation, and if it isn’t solid, life feels shaky. For those of us who have experienced the power of self-love, we can agree that the effects can often feel quite magical. The moment we start loving ourselves, we experience shifts—positive shifts. Life begins to move forward with more ease, and things begin to magically fall into place. Relationships improve. Health improves. And life begins to feel good—really good. Say goodbye to codependency. Self-love pushes you to take care of your own needs. You’ll learn to give to yourself, and in doing so, you will develop into the person you strive to be. You’ll celebrate the beauty and freedom of being true to yourself, and you’ll gain a solidified sense of who you truly are. Self-love helps you ground yourself in your true self. Flight attendants always tell you to put your mask on before helping others with theirs. Why? Because you can’t help others if you can’t breathe.

Self-love works the same way. You cannot give love to others if you don’t have that love within you. You may feel as though you have the ability to love, but what’s really happening is that you’re giving love from an empty space, further draining your energy and emptying your tank. This leads to that sense of depletion, emptiness, and exhaustion after you feel yourself giving, giving, and giving to someone. However, when you remember to put your mask on first and stock up on self-love, you’ll be giving love from a full tank. This type of giving feels energizing and good.

 Stop seeking happiness outside yourself. You won’t find it. You may find temporary happy moments, but you won’t find long-lasting happiness. Self-love helps you get your groove back. It's really simple. The more love you show yourself, the better you feel. And the better you feel, the happier you become. You are in charge of your happiness, and self-love is the key to finding it. Self-love is not selfish. Self-love is about connecting to your innermost needs, celebrating the freedom of being you, and honoring who you truly are while dropping your destructive patterns. Loving yourself is magical; it’s a divine relationship that will help you radically improve every single aspect of your life. So go on, drop the guilt, and embrace having a deep, loving relationship with you.