I continue with my walking meditation. 

As previous month, I've not always been focusing on my breathing as I like, but I have been doing a little better than last month.

My main focus when I have been walking was to enjoy what was around me.

I've been looking after my inner child at times by playing with my remote control car.

I also made a felt flower garland, which I mentioned in "Chit-chat late June" post.

I've also done a fair bit of dancing this month. Watching some dvd's put me in the dancing mood.

I've done a fair bit of thinking this month. Some of this thinking is what I had last month. But stronger.

One of them won't be possible unless I won the lottery because I can't just up and leave to live at Skegness, when I have no job or home that way. To get a home, you have to have a job and to rent privately, you have to be in work.

Travelling from current job to where I would like to live is not something I could do and no way would I go down the house share route. 

The other is regarding my evening job. Should I see the right cleaning job at the right hours, or at one hour less than I currently do, that just requires one cleaner to do the job, I am likely to apply. But I would be torn leaving my current evening job because  of the support they have given me. 

But after the last over 2 years, I have changed as a person. I am not that person as before. Those 2 plus years have done that and in parts, not all for the better with what has happened to me, including during that time, of what has happened in my evening job.

Obviously, if I see that right job, like with this current one and my morning job, that potential employer will receive certain questions for my peace of mind and seeing how they respond, as well as anything related to the job. If I feel satisfied with any job that turns up, to replace my evening job, I am more likely to go.

I have fought with this a few months now. But its become stronger.

I know getting that right job will take some time because those kind of hours don't crop up often and so it gives time to assess currently where I am and see what happens next. 

Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Liz's Onward Journey," with appropriate and specific direction to the content.