So, how do your looks Affect your confidence?

I talked about my standards here, and if you read that, then you would notice that “good looks” isn’t one of the things I give importance to. The reason is that I was ugly before, so I think I would be a hypocrite if I cared about looks.

I know what unattractive people feel. It isn’t their fault that they weren’t born with good looks, so why do they have to deal with some unpleasant things such as not being desirable or not being “good enough” for certain people?

And that affects their confidence.

Honestly, my unattractiveness was one of the factors that lowered my self-esteem back then. People thought I wasn’t good at anything, so I thought the same. They loved pointing out my flaws and telling me I was worse than others, so I thought I was such a failure.

Those bitter words that were coming out of their mouths made me so mad at the world and hate myself, but I couldn’t say anything because I just didn’t think that I had the right to fight back. I felt like they were right about everything.

But life happens. People mature. And as I mature, I look better. Turns out I’m just a late-bloomer. And I personally think that it’s better to be a late-bloomer than an early-riser. As I’ve observed, many of those who peaked in high school have lost their charm when they turned adults.

I’m not going to lie. Presently, I know I look better than some other people because I see how people behave around me. I am not blind, and I don’t want to pretend not to know just to appear humble in front of you. You can judge me.

How Your Looks Affect Your Confidence and How to Be More Confident

Look good, feel good. But looking good actually doesn’t necessarily mean you must be catching a lot of eyeballs. You can look good for yourself by simply wearing cute clothes, brushing your hair, putting makeup on, working out, treating your acne, or simply smiling.

Let’s dive deep. Here’s how to be more confident:

1. Clean yourself up.
2. If you have imperfections that can be fixed, fix them. If it can’t be fixed, embrace it.
3. Surround yourself with positive, non-judgmental people.
4. Be better than other people at something.
5. Realize that if people bring up your past, it means they think you have become better.
6. Don’t be afraid to be hated, wrong, or ignored.

Let’s begin.

1. Clean yourself up.

If you just don’t possess attractive facial and body features, you can simply aim for looking decent or clean because it helps.

Personally, I don’t care about good looks, but whether the person looks clean or not matters to me. And there were instances wherein I got attracted to someone who wasn’t really handsome but just seemed handsome because they looked clean.

I think facial hair is a good example because that’s so exposed.

I don’t think body hair is bad because that’s part of being human. But facial hair, I think it’s a good idea to trim it, groom it, or whatever, especially if it looks disastrous, so you don’t look like you’re not taking care of yourself.

And then keep in mind proper hygiene. And then smell good.

2. If you have imperfections that can be fixed, fix them. If it can’t be fixed, embrace it.

We’re talking about physical appearance, right? Among my insecurities back then were my acne-prone skin, my teeth, some skin discolorations, and—I can’t believe I’m going to talk about this here—I’m not flat-chested but they’re small for an adult.

But I have a butt, and I’m fit and taller than most people, so this is just a matter of being bad at some things but good at some. I fixed my “imperfections” except for my small chest. I just embraced that.

Some female friends were pointing that out (because theirs were obviously bigger) but I just kept saying to them, “I don’t need big boobs to survive.” Because that’s true. And after all, to me, I think a small chest is better than a flat butt.

Imperfections are normal. Emphasize your assets and flaunt them so people can see what you have instead of what you lack. And I still can’t believe that I just talked about those body parts. Gosh.

3. Surround yourself with positive, non-judgmental people.

If you don’t want to improve yourself, then you can simply surround yourself with people who will accept you for what you are, although I think it’s better to be around those who want you to be a better person.

The thing about true friendship is that it’s about helping a person change but without touching on who they are at the core. It’s like, “I accept you for who you are as a person, but please change your bad habits and bad behavior because those are ruining you and harming others.”

What has a huge impact on a person’s confidence is whether or not the words they hear are positive or negative. Obviously, if you only hear criticisms and insults, then that will really make you less confident in yourself. So choose your friends wisely!

Also, it’s important that you are a positive person too. Smile, just enjoy life, and have a more flexible way of thinking. If something good happens, good. If it’s bad, then try to look deep into the situation because there might be some good lessons there.

4. Be better than other people at something.

For sure, there’s something you are good at. Maybe you have a talent or a skill that not a lot of people possess. If one’s weakness is your strength, then you can breathe and rest assured that you are needed and, quite possibly, admired.

Personally, there are things I’m not good at, and I look up to and admire those who can do what I can’t do, such as dealing with a lot of people without getting exhausted and doing some mechanical or construction stuff (I remembered those who remodeled our house).

If you are better than other people at a particular subject, then you must be feeling good. And if you feel good, then you will feel more confident. You might be thinking you’re trash, but you just can’t see yourself from other people’s points of view.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. There might be someone who thinks you’re such a great person and you just can’t see them because you’re too busy criticizing yourself.

5. Realize that if people bring up your past, it means they think you have become better.

Most, if not all, of us are embarrassed by our past, and a lot of people know that, so they use it as a weapon to hurt you, make you feel bad about yourself, or just ruin your happiness in general. You’ve moved forward, but they haven’t.

They can’t accept that your life seems to be going in a positive direction while they’re still at the same place all this time, so they want to bring up your gloomy days in hopes that those would kill the spark in your life.

I’m not saying these are bad people because, as I always say, there are reasons why people are who they are. Behind most bad deeds are unresolved issues that just need fixing. So basically, many of these people are just unhealed and immature.

6. Don’t be afraid to be hated, wrong, or ignored.

Because you wouldn’t care about what people say if you weren’t self-conscious. Once you have the courage to be disliked (this is a book), hated, wrong, or ignored, all the unpleasant words you receive won’t affect you anymore. Remember that you can’t please everyone, and that’s cliché.

Last Words

After all of what I just said, I still think the ultimate effortless confidence-booster is being physically attractive. When you look good, people treat you differently even if you’re just breathing. As much as possible, they want to be on your good side⁠—unless they are insecure of you.

I’ve actually experienced that a lot of times. I think people treat good-looking people better than the average ones. If people look at you in that way, like you are a goddess or a special person, that’s an ego boost, so you become more confident.

If you don’t have good looks, as mentioned earlier, looking good can simply be looking decent and clean, so don’t feel so hopeless.

Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m making any sense because I wrote this quickly. *haha*

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