I wanted him. I wanted him so badly that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. In fact, I thought it was just another one of my crushes that would go away with time. But then, a year passed, and my feelings only became more intense. I liked him, but what about him? Does he like me or is it all in my head – I keep asking these questions.

Sometimes, I feel like walking up to him and telling him exactly how I feel – but what if he is offended and never talks to me again? What if it’s all in my head, and I’m reading too much into things? 

Yes, my mind is acting like a forum with different questions popping up randomly. But just because my Love life has been put on hold doesn’t mean you will have to do the same to your love life.

I mean, if you can relate to what I am going through, chances are you are in a similar situation or have dealt with such issues in the past. Did giving the whole could-we-could-we-not equation make things worse? Probably!

People overthink when it comes to matters of heart. Instead of having a clear conversation about feelings, people try to think: Does he like me? Is there someone else? Is he attracted to me? And the question goes on! 

So, let’s do something different for a change – let’s leave the overthinking behind and break the psychology behind emotions, Attraction, and everything in between.

I spoke at length with Dr. Chinmoy Vajpeyee (behaviorist, psychometric assessments, NLP practitioner, and clean language enthusiast) and fifty millennials to decode the psychology behind attraction. Let’s dive right in…shall we? 

Breaking The Psychology Behind Attraction:

And I don’t even know! Does he like me, or is it all happening inside my head? We have said this many times to our friends, colleagues, and, in some cases, even strangers.

I think most of us judge ourselves too harshly – we think there is no possibility that our crush might just feel the same way about us.

Even if everyone around me had told me that ‘yes, he likes you,’ I would have never been convinced until it came from him directly. When you are falling for someone, there is probably nothing more anxiety-ridden than figuring out whether they like your back.

And guess what? It doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 27 – if you are attracted to someone, you will know. And if they are attracted to you, then you will know that too! It’s all in their behavioral patterns, really – to decode the psychology behind attraction, you must decode the behavioral patterns. 

And even Dr. Chinmoy Vajpeyee agrees. He says,

“‘Nothing Gold can Stay’ – Well, Robert Frost might have been preemptive quipping that, but surely you could figure out the Gold Mine from where all that gold comes, it’s the pattern disruption, which is a gold mine of information about the actual intent behind some one’s behavior.” 

When you are in the middle of lovey-dovey-anxious excitement, everything your special someone does or says feels like a clue! A clue to finding out what is really inside his heart – does he like you? Maybe! Naturally, this leads to several hours of stressful overthinking and overanalyzing. 

Fortunately, there are logical ways to find out how your special someone feels! Ways that do not involve an obsessive decoding of his every message in the ladies’ group chat.

So, Does He Like Me? 

While it might seem like watching Sex and the City for the nth time can solve your love problems (no shade!) or obsessing over what’s written in the stars, your best shot here is to just depend on the pros (A.K.A us)!

Hence why, we asked an expert about their take on whether he likes you or is he just being nice – you are welcome! 

Of course, the easy thing to do here is just ask the guy whether he likes you or not! But while the best thing to do here is to just communicate your feelings upfront to avoid any confusion, this direct approach can be genuinely scary. It’s literally not for everyone! 

So, if you would rather opt for some undercover investigation before you can hit them up, then you have arrived at the right destination.

Keep an eye out for these expert-advised signs he is attracted to you – that should clear things up. Trust me!

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss: It Can Also Scream ‘I Like You,’ In Bold

Do you remember how little boys always tease that one girl they have a soft corner for? Well, it’s true – if they tease you the most, they probably like you. People tend to behave opposite to how they feel just to hide their actual feelings.

Dr. Vajpeyee has much to say on the topic. He said,

“One behaves exactly in opposite ways to what one is; one portrays contrary traits as if to square it off. So, if he likes you or has a thing for you, he might be projecting the exact opposite; it could manifest in him ignoring you, paying no attention to you, and giving an impression as if he is not even aware of your presence. Typically, conspicuous by its absence kind of stuff.” 

In fact, 27-year-old Tista Sen agrees. She told me that her current partner used to be her former colleague. The problem?

For the longest time, Tista was confused – does he like me, or is he just being friendly? This guy wasn’t exactly her close friend at work – he wasn’t taking all his breaks with her or bending policies to spend time with her.

Instead, in professional settings, he would always pick on her – something subtly and sometimes publicly. But whenever she needed his support, he was there – whether it was professional support or personal therapy- he always stepped up. It took them months to even confess their true feelings to each other.

Later, he told Tista that all these feelings for her caught him off guard, and he was so shocked that he wanted to keep it to himself.

He wasn’t sure whether she liked him back. So, the dilemma was mutual, not one-sided. Somebody just had to say the words or take the first few steps to have a heart-to-heart. 

The Eyes Aren’t Going To Tell You All: It’s All In The Pattern Disruptions 

For the longest time, I believed in the power of the eyes. If he looks at me often enough, it clearly means he likes me – at least, that’s what I knew.

It was almost as if society had laid down the ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ of expressing yourself. As a result, you will find yourself exchanging glances with the object of your affection multiple times a day.

But that doesn’t mean everyone who looks at you from time to time has feelings for you! 25-year-old Sarmind Saifi agrees. She told me about this particular guy who would often look at her – she almost believed that he had a crush on her at work.

On closer inspection and after a long conversation with this man, she found out that he was curious about a sweatshirt she was wearing throughout the week at work. So, just because someone is looking at you often doesn’t necessarily mean they like you.

Instead of observing the eyes, look for pattern disruptions. In fact, Dr. Vajpeyee says,

“It’s all about the pattern disruptions; they are goldmine when it comes to deciphering the intent behind a particular behavior.” 

The phrase ‘pattern disruptions’ might sound a little deeper than you were intending to go! But then what if I tell you – that pattern disruptions are rooted in our most simple expressions?

Dr. Vajpeyee adds in this context,

“If he is an introvert and suddenly your presence makes him chatter like a chatterbox, or if he is extrovert and in your presence, he recedes and behaves awkwardly, or if he is eloquent and in your presence he is always at a loss of words, or if he is reticent and your presence makes him beat the William Blakes and John Keats, surely he has a thing for you.” 

Move Over Verbal And Nonverbal Cues: Look For Pattern Shifts Instead!

So, I have already talked abut pattern disruptions. Chances are you have gone back to obsessing over the different verbal and nonverbal cues, which makes his feelings for you obvious. Now, that is one major mistake you need to stop making ASAP!

TBH, Dr. Vajpeyee points out that we are “so attuned to finding solace in verbal cues, nonverbal cues,” that we forget how “these cues perse hardly answer any question that you might be harboring for long. Instead, a better marker might be pattern shift or aberration – it could be in terms of physical movements, could be in terms of tonal quality or linguistics, could be in terms of thinking as well, it could be in one of many myriad ways.” 

So, I was obsessing over this guy – I spent weeks decoding everything he did – from all his cryptic messages to his expressions, I had done a 360-degree analysis.

While my analysis clearly told me that he had feelings for me, I wasn’t convinced. I was confused – does he like me? If he does, then why isn’t he telling me? Is there someone else? 

I had too many questions and no answers. Instead, it was my conversation with Dr. Vajpeyee that helped me to put things into perspective for the very first time.

He literally told me that

“too much emphasis has been laid on nonverbal and verbal cues. As a result, we falter in treating all that as the gospel of truth or some kind of theoretically deduced principle. We constantly evolve and don’t behave the same way. The same kind of situation won’t elicit the same kind of response, but the underlying patterns remain the same. It is better to shift focus elsewhere – the answer lies in focusing on behavioral and thinking patterns.” 

The Law Of Attraction: YES! You Can Probably Manifest A Relationship!

Thanks to The Secret and celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, who support the power of positive thinking, everyone knows how thinking well can lead to good results. But what does science say about this well-known theory?

Enter the Law of Attraction! 

The Law of Attraction stems from the foundational principle – like attracts like. Thanks to Einstein’s popular equation E = mc², we know that energy and matter are inseparable, with energy as the foundation of every little detail within this tangible universe.

So, anything manifesting in this physical world does so when lots of resonant energies are drawn simultaneously.

The foundation behind the Law of Attraction is that energy precedes manifestation. As a result, while positive thoughts will bring about a positive outcome, negative thoughts will bring about negative outcomes.

So, the state of everything in the real, physical world reflects what’s happening internally. Everything – our relationships, jobs, bodies – reflects what’s happening internally. 

When we focus on what is missing from our lives, what is unjust, and all the ways we have been wronged, we will only find evidence of the wrongdoing. Moreover, this pushes us into a victim mindset that, in turn, deprives even the best of us of the power to feel or think.

As per the law of attraction, if you don’t like the quality of the experiences you are undergoing, then you just have to alter the vibrational output. This includes altering your perspective, words, thoughts, attitudes, and moods.

So, the emotions, attitudes, acts, and energy that you put into the world will attract resonant or similar energy, emotions, vibrations, acts, and attitudes. Think of it like Karma – you reap what you sow.

But what about the law of attraction in relationships? 

How Does The Law Of Attraction Work In Relationships: 

There is a direct relationship between relationships and the law of attraction. I just spoke about how the law can help you to move closer to your goals. So, what if your goals include making your crush fall for you? 

Does he like me, or is it just in my head? So, the point is – it’s fine if he doesn’t like you yet. You can totally apply the law of attraction to make him fall for you! 

The law impacts relationship manifestation since it puts you in the mental and emotional space to be receptive toward love. There are so many people who can’t find meaningful, long-term relationships because of failure to get care and attention from a romantic partner.

But, when you apply this law, you start accepting that you do deserve love.

Another factor in this context has a lot to do with how physical activities start facilitating your relationship. Suddenly, you are at the right spot at the right time. You can meet the person you have been waiting for all this while.

There is a solid relationship between your love life and this law. But to make it work, you must know how to use this law to attract love. 

And It’s A Wrap!

The whole ‘does he like me or does he not’ conversation is HUGE – it just never ends! Fortunately, for all our sakes, Dr. Vajpeyee agrees. He will be back to join us on our exciting quest for decoding the psychology of attraction – sounds great, doesn’t it?

He has a few words of motivation for all of us, “watch out if you encounter any of the above-mentioned patterns; you just might get the long-awaited answer to that perennial conundrum- he loves me, he loves me not. How to make someone fall for you, how to figure out what makes him or her click, how to make someone understand what you never said, well more about it next time.” 

Yep – you read that right! He has more to tell us, and next time, we will go deeper! You don’t need a love potion – you just need us. So, stay tuned!

Wait…Before You Leave, Consider These Top Resources…

• Dating Vs Relationship: 5 Major Differences
• Green Flags in Men That Say He Is The One For You!
• These Are The Biggest Signs A Guy Is Attracted To You But Is Hiding It

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