If you have actually imagined your entire life with someone after seeing their profile on a dating app or made up your mind to give up on everything for that one millennial hottie sitting at the airport gate, then chances are you are in what TikTok is calling a delusionship.

Relationships involve consensual mutual attraction or even infatuation between two or more parties. Delusionships, on the other hand, are similar to having imaginary and playful courtships with your crush.

You can easily be in a delusionship with that hot boy on the subway. You could also be in a delusionship with someone you occasionally flirt with every other night, and now your friends have given this particular guy a name on the group chat.

Much to the disappointment of my long-time boyfriend of 5 years, I am currently in a delusionship with Bradley Cooper. For the most part, delusionships are fun and quite entertaining if you are planning to slide into their DMs right after a fun chat with the girls.

Today, we are in the mood to talk about delusional relationships – Stay tuned to read about this new viral dating trend on TikTok.

So, What Is A Delusionship?

So, what is a delusional relationship? Simply put, it is basically an idealized infatuation that is more delusional inside your head than real. It is completely an underhanded jab at the whole idea of situationships. TBH, situationships are nothing but loose connections that defy the traditional classifications of relationships.

There is nothing inherently right or wrong about being in delusionships. It is more like a repackaged version of a harmless crush – a sort of timeless phrase that has received a much-needed GenZ makeover. It refers to a hyper-romanticized infatuation for someone with whom there is no established relationship.

You don’t know the authentic, real version of this person. You are taking your crush a step further by imagining what life would be like with them before you even get to know them IRL – this is where the delusion part comes into play.

So if we are all kind of guilty about obsessing over someone before knowing them, whether it’s a celebrity or Robert from marketing, does that mean we cannot actually do this without feeling guilty? Or can our infatuations turn into something toxic?

Who Experiences Delusionships?

Now that you have a fair idea about delusional love meaning let’s talk about the individuals who are more likely to experience delusional feelings for their ‘crush?’

The heterosexual female dating scene has taught me one thing: that women tend to spend more time over interpreting and analyzing their relationships than men would do.

When we typically hear about a delusionship – whether she is crooning over the hot guy who fixed her air conditioner or the girl who goes on TikTok and talks about her delusional dating roster – it’s generally from a woman. And NO, that is not an innuendo.

Of course, men also fantasize and obsess about their relationships. It is just that we don’t hear about it that much. When men idealize connections, those aren’t usually emotionally driven but instead rooted in realistic circumstances. Plus, men are not vocal about them.

While interacting with somebody you are romantically interested in, it ultimately boils down to the release of oxytocin in men and women, which is significantly different.

As compared to testosterone, Oxytocin links relatively more ferociously with oestrogen. As a result, the side effects impact women for a longer time. Due to these hormonal reactions in women, their inhibitions go down, and feelings of lust and connection make them perfect targets for delusional relationships.

Then there are women for whom making the first move is a stigma in the world of romance. These women are more prone to get involved in delusionships. For some women, it is easier to be in a delusional relationship than actually ask out someone they like.

Can Delusionships Become Toxic?  

The moment the lines between reality and fantasy start getting blurry, your delusionship also starts getting toxic.

So, while there is a delusion of love inside your head, it is vital that you keep your relationship rooted in reality. This is absolutely true for both confidence and compatibility levels.

If you match with some individual on a dating app and begin to overthink about how things are with this person, then you are just setting yourself up for disappointment in real life or even in terms of not being on the same page. Moreover, it is not fair to this other person as well. How are they even going to match up to your expectations?

It is vital to put some much-needed romantic energy into different situations that make you feel loved and cared for. If you are crushing badly over somebody from a distance, don’t let that stop you from going on dates with others. Or just take a risk and ask them out.

It is also important to respect the boundaries of the person you are in a delusionship with. They might not know that you have these feelings for them. They might not even feel the same about you.

So, it is crucial that you respect your crush’s boundaries. After all, rejection is like a basic part of dating, and it’s about time we started getting more comfortable with the same.

The Difference Between A Delusionship And A Crush:  

Are you already looking up stuff like ‘delusional meaning in a relationship‘ on Google? It is normal to be confused between delusionships and crushes – there are striking similarities between the two. But TBH, these are both different things – and I am going to tell you how!

When it comes to dating someone, especially online, there is this fantasy element that is always at play. From romanticizing what both of you will eat on your first date to taking it a step further and thinking about your potential partner in bed, you could fantasize about different aspects of a potential relationship with your crush.

Crushes are flirty, fun, and perhaps something you didn’t intend on acting upon. Delusionships, on the other hand, risk becoming a complete fantasy in itself, thereby impacting your ability to connect with your crush.

The primary element in a delusionship is believing with absolute conviction that something imaginary is entirely real. For some people, this is nothing but a part of manifesting – while hyper-fixating on someone to text you or call you, as a form of wishing it into actually happening, it is vital that you do not let your expectations get the best of you.

In a delusionship you are hyper-romanticizing based on only a slice of reality.

Risks Involved:  

For a majority of people, delusionships are not a  serious concern. Single people often idealize potential partners before knowing anything about them. It is typically the first step you take before you form a relationship.

Even though this pleasant dream does not always last for long, forming delusional thoughts about a potential partner is pretty common, at least in the early stages.

The problem is when you obsess over someone too much without knowing anything about them, the person might not be able to match up to your expectations of them in real life. It becomes virtually impossible to match up to your high expectations. As a result, after the first date or interaction, no relationship occurs between you and the person.

Also, there can be the initial problem of your crush not feeling the same about you.

Even if you are in a relationship and you daydream about being with someone else who is actually unavailable in real life, you should not feel bad about it – here, commitment is not involved.

You can be in a committed relationship and still find someone else attractive and even start fantasizing about being with them.

This occurs because the attraction systems, which include locating, getting attracted to, and committing to a potential partner, are actually independent of each other.

The Red Flag:  

One of the major concerns of being in a delusional relationship is that a passing infatuation could develop into a mental illness over time.

One of the biggest differences between a mental health issue and an infatuation is all about the time you spend with your crush, and your actions towards them are inside your head.

If you find yourself obsessing about your crush too much, checking their social media constantly, following them around, and basically keeping tabs over them, then chances are your delusionship is impacting your mental health negatively.

When Should You Act Upon A Delusionship? When Should You Let It Go?

If you are in a delusionship with a real person within your real world, then you must take some time to observe and understand the circumstances around you before making any moves.

However, if your crush is impacting your confidence, self-esteem, and happiness. Ultimately, it is important to find a meaningful and healthy relationship in your life.

And if you have been crushing over somebody and that has been making you happy, then there is no harm in making a move – just remember that your feelings need to be rooted in reality.

But if you are happy being in a playful relationship with someone unreal like Harry Styles or Noah Centino, that is absolutely fine.

As long as your delusionships are not affecting your real-life relationships, you can indulge in whatever fantasy you feel like – just make sure that you know the difference between reality and fantasy.

Moving On From A Delusionship:

While delusionships are normal for most of us, we fail to acknowledge that these delusional relationships can be very painful to move on from.

Delusionships can be a sign that your need for romance is getting unfulfilled. Or, you are trying to just protect your heart from the typical vulnerability that comes with any relationship. By focusing on one relationship inside your head, you are trying to risk your actual heart in the real world.

Dating in the real world can be disappointing and confrontational. Investing your time and effort in a fantasy, without ever dealing with the actual possibility of being in a relationship with them, also acts like a buffer for a reality that you do not want to confront.

Wishful thinking is a part of any romantic journey, but if you are spending too much time obsessing over a potential partner, then it’s time to take a step back. Someone might seem perfect on paper, but that doesn’t make them perfect for you.

They become perfect for you when they have invested their time and effort in you in the real world. If someone isn’t fine with giving you time, then it’s definitely not a real relationship.

You can end a delusionship by going cold turkey. Just stop with social media scrolling and going through old messages, and instead, make a physical note every time you enter into a fantasy about them.

And It’s A Wrap!  

Effectively, delusionships are how people in 2023 say they are thinking a lot about their crushes. And yes, we have all been there. TikTok further proves this since there are over 16 million tags on the trend.

It says, “You were never mine (you actually were never mine, I was just delusional and thought you were secretly in love with me)” in a very relatable text by mainlyemma on TikTok. Similarly, Jaden says, “when my mom asks why I’m so sad but I can’t tell her it’s because my delusionship I talked to twice ghosted me,” on TikTok.

If all this sounds very familiar and you think it is a toxic habit, then don’t be worried. Experts are saying that it’s OK to daydream about people and situations until they get in the way – and you cannot differentiate between reality and fantasy.

So what are your thoughts on delusionship? Do you think you are in one? Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, and stories about imagining potential relationships inside your head in the comments below.

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