My family did not travel much when I was a kid. My parents worked really hard, and taking time off meant not making money, so it just wasn’t a priority in our household. Whenever people talk about family trips I feel like I missed out on so much. So when I got older, I made it a point to go to one new place every year to make up for lost time. When the pandemic got out of control, we had to cancel our first Trip to Japan – it was a trip that was years in the making, so it was a huge bummer to have to cancel everything. Luckily, I was able to get refunds, and Japan is the first place on our list once we are allowed to and feel comfortable traveling again.
I recently let go of the idea that you have to do stuff every hour of every day while you’re on Vacation. The idea that you spent all this money to travel, so you have to make the most of it…that is a good mindset if you like having mental breakdowns on vacation. Some people think just hanging out in your hotel or rental is a waste, but you know what? You paid for that room, so fucking use it! Paying for a room you don’t use is also a waste – truly, it’s all wasteful of you want to put it in those terms. Personally, enjoying your new environment, enjoying your company, taking the time to actually relax, being open to experiencing different cultures, that is what matters to me. So as things start to reopen, I wanted to share some tips that have worked for me in terms of being less stressed, more present, and a more thoughtful traveler.
—PLANNING—
Spreadsheets
I love planning and researching for a trip. I’m a spreadsheet person all the way! When we were planning a West Coast road trip, I used a spreadsheet to keep track of our itinerary and places of interest – it was nice because it kept all our info in one place. If we were in Portland looking for a bakery in a particular neighborhood, we could use filters on the “restaurants” tab and instantly have a list of places we already vetted for ourselves. I live for this shit but a normal person with a life may not want to put so much work into this At the very least it’s helpful in terms of comparing costs of transportation and lodging in the early stages of planning.
Get to know the area
It is really important for me to study maps because I don’t want to get lost or wing it at the last minute. It’s a good idea to learn the main street names and their proximity to each other, you can sort of use that as a rudimentary outline of the city. You don’t have to memorize much, but if you at least familiarize yourself, it’s much easier when you’re actually there trying to navigate the streets and subways. I rely pretty hard on Google Maps when I’m on vacation but I can always fall back on physical maps if need be because I researched the area beforehand
Learn local customs – I think a little of this goes a long way, especially if you’re traveling internationally. It is not difficult to be polite or make an effort to be respectful. (If that’s a problem for you, you should probably just stay home.) The TripAdvisor forums are your friend – locals and fellow travelers frequent this forum, so any question you may have has probably already been answered there. Another benefit of this is that you can pick up safety tips, and information about scammers who target tourists. I would also recommend learning some phrases in the local language. In Paris, I got used to saying, “Bonjour, parle vous Anglais?” – almost everyone said yes but even the people who didn’t speak English were still very helpful and kind to us.
Filling out your itinerary – Some places have so much to see and do, so I like to pick just one or two main attractions for each day, and have a list of low priority attractions in the same viscinity in case we have spare time. It’s good for me to set these kinds of limits on myself otherwise I would pack our schedule and that’s just not realistic or fun. For me, it’s easier to have less planned so we can be flexible with our time, we don’t have to hustle from place to place, and it also helps to make the most out of those places we wanted to see the most. Also, having less goals each day increases your chance of feeling like you accomplished what you set out to do.
Don’t be a foodie – This is more of a personal one I realize a big part of travel and culture is the food, but I’m not a foodie. I am not particular, I have no dietary restrictions, and I could not care less about trendy restaurants. So when I am in vacation planning mode I don’t go very deep on researching restaurants. At the most I’ll make a list, take suggestions from friends, and if it’s convenient while we’re there we’ll pop in – but I will not plan my vacation around food, nor will I go out of my way to get it. To me, food is food. If I’m in Japan, anything I eat there will be authentic enough. My friends once made me wait 2.5 hours to get into a popular ramen restaurant in LA – we sat down at damn near 11pm, if the food was hella good I was too annoyed to enjoy or remember it – never again!!
Have some free days – I started leaving a day or two completely open on longer trips. It’s nice to have time to recharge, explore the neighborhood you are staying in, and just chill. It also gives you some extra time if there are any places you want to go back to, or explore a spot you hadn’t originally planned to see. Sometimes when you don’t have a plan, that’s when you have the most fun adventures because it just happens unexpectedly and organically.
Free walking tours
Every major city has some sort of free walking tour program. I highly recommend seeking these out because they are super casual and the tour guides are wonderful. Since it’s a free service, the guides are volunteers so they are usually outgoing locals who genuinely love their city and its history. They only make money off of tips, so please remember to tip them well for their time!! Since they are walking tours, they focus on a particular spot or neighborhood. In Paris, we took a tour of the arrondissement we were staying in on our first day – it was a great way to introduce us to the area since it was our first time in France. Having an English-speaking guide right off the bat in Paris also helped ease us into dealing with the language barrier, which can be very intimidating when it’s not something you’re used to. I’m definitely going to sign up for some tours when we go to Japan.
—BEING PRESENT—
Put away the phone
You just have to. I am guilty of Instagram story-ing when I go on trips – it’s fun because it feels like I’m sharing the experience with my friends real-time and I can always look back at those pictures fondly – but at the same time, is it really necessary? I’m going to try to tone it down lol But in general, I try not to reach for my phone unless it’s for something necessary like navigation or communication.
Don’t bring a digital camera
I have stopped bringing my digital camera on vacation. To be fair, I do bring my film SLR, but my excuse for that is..it’s film so I have to use it sparingly Vacation pictures are nice to have, but it does feel like a lot of people are excessive with it. At what point are you living your vacation through your camera? I was taking pictures at a concert once and realized that I missed the performance because I was too busy trying to get good shots..I think back to that every time my mind is more focused on taking a picture than being present in the moment. With digital, it’s much harder to fight that urge – you’re not wasting expensive film, and it’s so easy and instant. But think of all the shitty shots you end up with. When was the last time you looked at your vacation photos from 5 years ago? Are you going to print all 500 photos? Are you really going to look at each picture enough times to justify the sheer volume of pictures you have? I doubt it.
Be aware of your surroundings – Again, it does not take a lot of effort to be considerate of locals and other travelers. Look for signs, and read them! If there’s a line, ask where the end is and go wait your turn. If you’re lost, don’t stop dead in your tracks – walk to the side of the walkway to stop (unless you want me to mow you down). If you’re walking in a group, don’t take over the entire sidewalk – life won’t end if you walk behind your friends – make room for other people (unless you want me to mow you down). If you’re in a museum, don’t stand in the middle of the walkway to take a picture of another damn picture – if you like something, look at the real artwork in front of you with your eyeballs for god’s sake! I used to work at Pier 39 so I have little patience for touristy nonsense, but still…I feel like these are general douchy behaviors. I guess my point is, don’t be a douche!
Take public transportation
I love to take public transportation whenever it makes sense. In Los Angeles and Seattle, you have to drive around because they are huge. On the other hand, San Francisco, New York City, Paris – these are small dense cities with strong public transportation infrastructures, where parking is scarce and traffic is bonkers – in other words, you actually save time and money by taking public transportation. You can usually find information online about fares and how it works. Nowadays most metropolitan areas have machines that can dispense tickets which is nice if there’s a language barrier or if you prefer less human contact. You will probably see a lot of homeless people and it’s usually pretty dirty, but that comes with the territory. What’s a more authentic NYC experience than riding the subway? XD The thing I like most is that it’s a good opportunity to people-watch. You can get a real feel of the locals. If it’s above ground you can also see more of the city and get a glimpse into neighborhoods you may not have a chance to explore.
Lower your expectations
It’s the difference between excitement and expectation – I am always excited for vacation, but I try not to expect things because nothing is owed to me simply because I bought a plane ticket or booked a hotel room. I go into it with the mindset that, these are the few things I want to see and do, and even those can fall to the wayside and that’s okay. I don’t expect everything to go smoothly. I don’t expect people to be super friendly. I don’t expect for there to be no crowds. And so on. It’s not like I’m wishing for a terrible experience, but you never know what can happen. All I can do is put myself in a good mindset, roll with the punches, and just try to enjoy myself. I don’t want to go home after a vacation with the feeling of disappointment. There’s nothing worse than excitement turning into disappointment when your expectations were too high.
Lastly, I want to mention that traveling is a privilege. I hope after this past year that more people will put more thought and care into traveling responsibly. I hope more people will ask themselves: just because I can go there, does that mean I need to go? I think we all need to remember that we are guests in other people’s home. Would you go to someone’s house and demand this and that? Would you ignore manners to take nonstop selfies and pictures? Would you throw your trash everywhere? Would you go into areas they asked you not to? Vacations are your opportunity to experience new things and unwind – not to let your worst qualities and behaviors loose onto unsuspecting hospitality/recreation workers and locals.
The biggest examples in my mind are Hawaii, Lake Tahoe, and Uluru – these are all places where visitors are frequently disrespectful to local people, customs, and laws – and what for? Instagram? Clout? To say you were there and did the thing? I swear, when I look at other travelers, half of them don’t seem like they are having fun and I have no idea why they are even there But on the other hand you have the people who are having a great time and appreciate the opportunity to be there and are taking everything in. Seriously, which would you want to be?
Anyway, I hope this was helpful. Do you have any traveling tips to share?
