Dangers of being an Over-Texter
As an overzealous texter, you risk pushing your date away. People generally don’t appreciate being overwhelmed, particularly when confronted with a needy or excessively attached person. We understand that you could be so smitten with them that you find it challenging to control the frequency and content of your texts.
However, grant them space to respond.
This notion is especially true if your relationship is in its early stages. You risk alienating them, and they may never wish to see you again! If it’s your partner, they may start to feel suffocated in the relationship if you text too frequently.
It’s therefore crucial to regulate your pace if you often wonder, ‘am I over-texting?’ Insecurity or anxiety often lead to clinginess, but it can also occur when you fall for someone quickly, and the feelings aren’t reciprocated.
This pattern can be destructive and may ruin all your present and future relationships if not addressed. It can even scupper your chances of scoring a date with your crush!
Is there an easy way to identify an over-texter and know when to draw the line? Consult our guide on double texting, its 15 rules, and how to avoid it so that you never cross that unwritten boundary of texting someone excessively.
Over-Texting? Signs that you’re truly overdoing it
What’s the text-back rule? The golden guideline of texting! Never send two texts if you haven’t received a reply. You should wait for a Response before sending another text. We know, it sounds absurd.
But, if you have to play the game, you might as well play it right. Here are the clues that answer the question – am I over-texting?
- The recipient gives you a hint, but you don’t pick on it.
Do you ever get a long, in-depth response, but they finish the text by mentioning they are preoccupied or with friends? That’s a huge sign, and it’s not one you should overlook.
Essentially, people are courteous. They won’t just label you a chronic texter or inform you that you’re engaging too much. You’d only get this response if you’re ignoring subtle signs, persistently texting, or bothering them. At this point, they may start to express irritation and potentially ignore you.
If someone reveals that they’re busy, that’s your sign to back off. Send them a well-wishing message and stop texting.
If they reciprocate your feelings, they’ll reply to you as soon as they’re free. But if you don’t hear back from them at the end of the day, take note. They probably feel you’re texting too much! [Read: How to stop texting when all you could think of is replying]
- They have ceased responding
If you ask whether you are overdoing it, deep down, you likely know the truth but are convincing yourself otherwise, making up all sorts of reasons for their lack of response. But, you’re probably getting it wrong. You’re texting them excessively!
So, they’ve stopped responding to your messages altogether. They don’t hold grudges, they likely need personal space away from you! [Read: What to text a girl – The do’s, don’ts, and secrets to know]
- You get one-word replies
If you previously received detailed answers, but now receive short responses, then it’s highly likely you’re over texting. Brief responses imply one of two things. Either they’re busy or trying to hint that you should decrease your incessant texting.
Either way, they’re insinuating that you’re texting too much, or too frequently.
This advice might not be explicit, but their dry, bland responses reflect their true feelings. Their lack of excitement in their texts speaks volumes, and you need to pick up on this if you’re an overzealous texter. [Read: Dry texting and the real meaning behind brief text responses]
- Their “read” message is abruptly turned off, and you’re now only getting “delivered”
If you’re using social media apps like Instagram or Whatsapp, these platforms inform you when your message has been delivered and subsequently read by the recipient.
If their read receipts are suddenly off, that’s usually for a reason. They might be hiding when they’ve read your messages because they class you as a chronic texter!
- They tell you “Can I text you later?” and don’t follow up.
If you receive abrupt messages such as those, don’t assume they’re driving or putting safety first. If this sudden change happens, they’re likely brushing you off because you send too many messages. Such vague messages usually imply, “back off, not now,” so take heed.
Excuses like texting or calling you at a later time is a veiled attempt to gently let you down and encourage you to stop texting. If their action doesn’t match their promises, then that’s all they are – excuses. [Read: Being left on ‘read’ – What it really means if they don’t text you back]
- You’ve sent multiple messages before they reply.
If you send them numerous texts and they only respond after several of yours, that’s indicative that you’re overdoing it.
It’s essential to learn when to take the hint. If they’re not matching your texting intensity, that’s a clear sign you’re an overbearing texter.
- Lengthy text from you receives only a “yep”
Avoid sharing your life story as text messages should remain spontaneous, fun, and quick. If you aim to narrate an entertaining story that might run like a novel, consider calling them up, or save it for the next time you meet.
Long messages demonstrate that you expect them to drop everything they are doing to respond likewise. Would everyone be okay with that?
Change is critical here. If they usually gave lengthy responses but have resorted to a single-word answer, this should raise alarm bells. This shift indicates that you’re over-texting, and they’d no longer like to read what you’ve written. This realization shows that not only are you over texting, but you’ve also lost their attention! [Read: Are you boring them? 20 signs they’ve lost interest]
- They switch their phone off completely
If you question if your text messages are even going through because there is no response from the other side, they’ve likely blocked you or turned their phone off. - They take multiple days to respond to you
If they take a couple of days to get back to you, then it’s likely you’re texting excessively. Regardless of their reason for the delayed response, continually texting when it’s not reciprocated may make you look desperate and clingy. If they wait, then you should also wait.
Regrettably, we have to face the game. If you don’t abide by the rules, then you’ll appear too keen and needy. Their delayed response often signifies either they don’t like you, or you’re over-texting.
So if you often ask yourself, ‘am I texting too much?’ the answer is a definite yes if they don’t respond within a day or two. [Read: How to text a girl who has ceased responding and regain her interest]
- When you’re out, you notice they aren’t much of a texter
While out with them, you might notice that they don’t fuss about their phone — they put it on silent or don’t take it out of their bag — firstly, good for you! You’ve found someone fully focused on you rather than their mobile!
However, this also means they probably aren’t the “texting type”. So, your endless text messages won’t encourage them to respond, probably irritate them when they finally check their phone. [Read: How often should you text a girl? 17 must-follow rules of texting]
- They cease to use emojis
Emojis were created for a reason, weren’t they? They add vibrancy to texts and occasionally help prove a point. To ensure our messages are not misunderstood, we include these expressive emoticons everywhere.
However, if they used to send emojis often, but now they’ve stopped, that’s a clear indication that you should ease your texting.
The sudden shift from emoji-filled texts to emoji-less messages might show that you’re a chronic texter. So if you’ve been asking yourself, ‘am I over-texting?’ carefully observe the consistency of their emoji usage. This rule applies to both genders! If the guys stop using emojis, you might be texting too much! [Read: 17 flirty, cute & seductive emojis guys resort to when they start to fancy you]
- You’re nearly always initiating conversation.
Do they reply to your texts but barely initiate a conversation? That’s a significant indicator.
Conversations generally flow both ways when two people are into each other. Conversations need work, and both texters should strive to keep it engaging.
If they think you’re overdoing it, you’d see that they don’t initiate any texts and instead respond to yours. Probably they may not even respond with a question in return. If you notice this sign, it’s a clear indication that you’re texting excessively! [Read: What it means when someone never texts you first but always replies]
- In-person conversations dry up.
If you find you’re running out of talking points when you meet, due to lengthy text sessions the night prior. This is a clear symptom of excessive texting.
Remember to keep your texts light-hearted and inconsequential. Talk about how your day went, ask them about their day, but avoid dipping into profound or substantial topics via text – save those for dates or phone conversations. Over-texting to the point that you have no discussion points for your date can cause an unpleasant and boring meet-up.
- Feelings of insecurity surface.
Feeling insecure often leads to an increase in your texting frequency. However, this behaviour presents a vicious cycle that only drives them further away.
If you get the sense that someone may not like you, or if you think they’re losing interest, resist the urge to increase your texting frequency. You must address your insecurity instead of texting more frequently. Why do you feel like they’re losing interest in you? [Read: 28 flirty ways to text your crush and keep them highly engaged]
- Your continuous availability
Are you the perpetually available texter, always ready to respond within moments of receiving their text? Do they do the same? Remember to maintain a balance in texting. If they take some hours to respond and you do so within a minute every time, it’s time to slow down!
This isn’t about playing games but maintaining a healthy text exchange rhythm. If you don’t wish to be the clingy texter, never give them the impression that you’re overly eager or have nothing else to do all day. Waiting eagerly for your crush to text can come across as being clingy and overly attached. [Read: Texting etiquette – 26 rules that both men and women must know]
- You’re always ‘checking in.’
When you haven’t heard from them or received a response to your previous message, you might be tempted to “check in” and see how they’re doing. Sadly, this subtle double text doesn’t show care or concern. It might only spur them to roll their eyes!
Take it easy for a day or two. Allow them to initiate a text conversation. Bombarding them with texts only makes them want to avoid you. [Read: Why do guys stop texting for a few days and leave us wondering?]
So, are you texting excessively?
Modern dating comes bundled with various rules. If it isn’t social media or texting, there are countless unwritten rules to follow, which can be frankly, exhausting.
So, if you suspect that you might be overdoing the texting, back off a bit before they clearly express that they need a breather.
Always create an aura that makes them pine for you more. If you get this delicate balance right, you’ll realize that texting can be fun and relaxing!
If you suspect you might be over texting, avoid overwhelming their phone. Dial down your pace and stop flooding them with notifications. Let them initiate the conversation instead of always being the one starting it.
