Have you ever wondered what was the point? Where did you go right? Where did you go wrong? Have you ever been at your wits end and not known what the next step was?

As a medicine woman I have learned how complex Healing is. For each person there are answers to their questions and remedies for their pain. But to make these answers and remedies truly effective, they are tailored to the individual. Based upon their personality, history, preferences, needs, desires, and uniqueness.

I choose specific answers and tailor-made remedies because every person is deserving of the best help. Everyone is deserving of love, healing, and the best support that can be given.

On an individual level this means that I can reach people where they are and not demand that they try and make my information fit them. But for my more general work as seen in my articles, book series, and podcast – I am unable to create tailor made answers.

This conundrum got me thinking, until one night I traced my thinking right back to the beginning.

What I rediscovered is that all major life altering healing begins in the same place. The journey may vary and differ as we utilize tailor made remedies and tools that we resonate with. But the beginning starts in the same place for us all.

So, have you ever questioned life, the meaning behind it, what to do, and how you can make it better?

The beginning Place:

It all begins with…

What you believe.

And I don’t mean a God, Goddess, or a big bang. That’s only one small piece, what I’m talking about is your very understanding of life, existence, and the human experience.

Because:

We all start with an understanding of life.

This understanding shapes what we perceive. Influencing what we think and feel about a situation. This emotional and mental response that we have according to the rules of life – which we live by, then shapes our choices. For when we make a free-will choice, choosing words and actions: it is based on thoughts and feelings.

Then we have made a choice. This action or those words are shared with the world. Which then influence our surroundings, triggering those around us to respond or react. This ripple of influence can travel far and even have long-term ramifications.

Then just as we have chosen, those around us choose, and based on what they said or did, we choose again. It is this unending cycle between ourselves and the outside world that creates our environment, life experience, and ultimately the quality and type of life we live.

But that first choice we made started with our understanding…

Examples:

Example #1: How we understand body language influences how we expect to act and be treated.

In America if a mom is correcting her son, she demands that he look her in the eye. For in America, we know that to look someone in the eye signals honesty and integrity, we are also better able to judge if we are being listened to.

In Japan if a mom is correcting her son, she demands that he not look her in the eye. For it is understood that to look an elder or person of authority in the eye is a sign of rebellion and disrespect.

Example #2: The values we have also shape our choices and understanding of a situation.

If a young boy got a job on a paper route, delivering newspapers to the neighborhood before school each morning, would his parents be…

A) Proud that he has a job.
B) Angry that he isn’t getting enough sleep.
C) Sad that he isn’t around the house as much.

In an American cultured Family, the answer is A. The family is proud that their child has gumption. The culture of money and a go-getter attitude means that the family is proud.

In a Hispanic family, the answer is C. The family is sad that the child won’t be at home as much, because in this culture, family means more than earning money.

Which country is right? Which culture is right?

I provide these examples because they are ones that were shared with me.

My interpersonal communication teacher shared this story about the Japanese and American moms. His wife was reprimanding their son for running through the kitchen and at the same time, he saw his friend’s wife reprimanding their son. This family friend was Japanese.

My teacher shared this personal experience he had of watching two moms reprimand their sons at the same time, in the same place, for the same reason, but in two completely different ways.

While my mother shared this cultural example. She was teaching a classroom of 3rd graders and she was working hard on helping them pass the state test. During the practice test, the majority of the classroom got the question “wrong” because the majority of her class were of Hispanic descent. But were they really wrong?

Therefore:

As you can see, how we understand life determines what kind of life we are able to live.

Therefore, any major healing or life changing begins in the same place for us all. With what it is we believe.

Do you believe that life is limited or limitless?
Do you believe in love?
Do you believe it better to look someone in the eyes or not?
Do you believe being with family is more important that earning a large amount of money?

The Challenge:

Unfortunately, our very understanding of life comes from a period in our lives that we are least familiar with – our infancy. As a child we absorbed an understanding from our environment. From there we developed ideas and learned more from family, friends, and teachers. Yet it is the one time in our life, where are memories are almost non-existent.

The second challenge is, where do we begin and what do we do? Because I personally believe that if we start with our very foundation – the thing that influences, shapes, and really gives birth to our thoughts, feelings, choices, and actions – we then take future moments of pain, confusion, and trauma and we wipe the slate clean. We keep them from ever happening, while at the same time healing the trauma and wounds that have already occurred.

For more about how I would go about this process, I must recommend my Human Experience book series. But don’t worry this isn’t a manipulation to get you to buy my book. I just know that to explain the beginning steps to reshaping your very understanding of life and the human experience: it took me an entire book.

Then to continue the Healing Journey has taken me another book, with more to come. So, if you want my answer – the shortest one I can give is in book format.

But if you have no interest in reading my thoughts on reshaping your personal philosophy, I wish to share and leave you with an old philosopher’s tool.

In my own personal life, I came across this tool and it’s what I use. It’s also what I share and encourage others to utilize…

The Three-Part Test:

When we wish to live a life that is accurate, healthy, supportive, loving, healing, and helpful: it becomes important to question life, ourselves, what we know, and believe.

Because if we were living lives where we were happy and understood why – we wouldn’t be seeking answers. Therefore, until we learn the necessary knowledge and take the healing journey, we won’t be able to create a life of our dreams.

And it all begins by questioning what it is we think we know and what it is we actually believe, especially when we slow down to think about it. We must question everyone and everything. (Including me.)

We must also question how things are done. Are they still healthy and helpful? Do they limit human existence in some way? Do they operate from a place of fear or love?

The manner in which we test the things we see and are taught, as well as what we think, is to put it through a Three-Part Test.

Step One: Understand

The first step is to understand the piece of information or idea that we are testing. What is the conclusion, piece of wisdom, or idea?

Step Two: Question

Once you know what the topic or idea is, the next step is to think about it. Does it make sense? Is it healthy and helpful? Does it match the life you wish to live? Is it an absolute truth or does it need some alterations? Does it relate to and work for all humans or only for some?

This step is not only for the pieces of information that the world teaches and shares with us. Such as information family and friends share about life and a particular situation. It’s also critically important to test society and culture. Anything that you are exposed to from the outside world.

What we encounter from the outside world can be…
• Misleading
• Manipulative
• A half-truth
• Unhealthy
• Limiting
• Outdated
• Prejudicial
• Fear or hate based
• Meant to achieve survival but doesn’t allow for thriving prosperity

It is also important to test what you think and feel: that personal philosophy. Are you carrying outdated, dysfunctional, or limiting beliefs? Are you acting as the roadblock, holding yourself back from your dreams?

Step Three: Decide

After you have considered the piece of information, it is time to make a decision. Is this a rotten truth? Is this wisdom? Is it healthy and helpful? Is it truth for just you or for all of humanity?

The things we encounter from the outside world and from within our own mind can be debilitating or helpful. But until we know which category they fall under: we must test them.

As you move forward with this article and with your life, put it to the test. Question things, so that you can live your life knowing that you are using helpful, healing, and healthy techniques for life.

To achieve any major healing our very understanding, beliefs, and knowledge much change and expand to transition us from a state of pain to a state of happiness. So, test what you believe and begin your own personal healing journey.

From there you will discover many tools, options, and tailor-made remedies, but as I said it all begins with, what it is you believe…