So you’ve found out you’re a boring person who can’t fully appreciate the finer things in life. Don’t sweat it, buddy, that’s why we’re here. We’re giving you 20 expressions you can drop in casual conversation that will make you sound smarter. And in some instances, you’ll be the only one who knows what you’re saying… wow, that’s really smart!
1. “I’ve found my tastes in music and film are rather catholic.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: I like a lot of different kinds of music and movies.
2. “I’ve always found the shlemiel protagonists of Woody Allen’s films a pitch perfect amalgam of neuroses and winning banter.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Woody Allen movies make me laugh.
3. “I find the brisk and viral expansion of Pan-Asian cuisine in the States endlessly fascinating.
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Isn’t it weird how many new Thai places there are around here?
4. “Avatar, on a contextual level, is an abomination. But when divorced from its own merits, the sensory experiences are ceaselessly winning.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Avatar’s plot sucked but it looked pretty cool.
5. “Who’s in the mood for an amuse bouche?
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Who wants appetizers?
6. “I’m sorry, but I find this conversation rather insipid.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: You’re boring me.
7. “The real question here is… what’s the low hanging fruit?”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Stop bothering me and go do some stuff that doesn’t require my answers.
8. “It looks good, but where’s the added value?”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: This is fine but I want to complain to make you look bad.
9. “I truly believe this is going to be a multi-quadrant consumer experience.
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: This stuff will appeal to different people.
10. “When you get a chance, can you route that report my way?”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Can you email me that shit please?
To a Girl
11. “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: You’re hot and I remember Shakespeare
12. “I’ve always considered molls like yourself my life’s true adornment.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: You’re a slut… and I like that!
13. “I pray you’ve maintained the fortitude for the session of coitus with which I’ve contrived.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Hope you saved up your energy, cuz we’re about to do it.
To Your Friends
14. “You are truly a group I’ve persistently yearned to bandy.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: I’ve always thought about getting rid of you guys.
15. “I think I’m going to convert entertainment hub into a multi-platform experience.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: I’m getting a new TV and maybe a new phone too.
16. “Ceteris paribus, I prefer tuna to salmon.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: All things being equal, I like tuna.
17. “I think we can all agree Tiger Woods committed an actus reus.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Tiger Woods is guilty.
18. “My motto is to do good facta, non verba.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: I always say I like to show people that I am good rather than talking about it (double points for being ironic)
19. “I abhor the canis canem edit mentality that’s flourishing in the world today.”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Sucks that it’s dog-eat-dog out there.
20. “Melita, domi adsum!”
FANCY WAY OF SAYING: Honey, I’m home! (that should get her melting in her underoos)
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