“Why? I wonder why?” 

I said with a wry smile when Abhishek told me how many people loved me enough to pray, help, and support in this difficult time. 

Apart from undertaking ‘patient duties’, my family had to entertain a bunch of guests whose number kept increasing by each passing week. On one hand, I felt sorry for my family that they got more work on their plate (thanks to Indian hospitality standards). On the other hand, I was wondering what really made people so concerned all of a sudden. 

It’s just a fracture after all. [Read – How I survived an open compound fracture? ]

But my mind doesn’t rest until it has analyzed every single possibility. I jogged my memory about the last time I visited somebody in the hospital. Only one reference came to mind when we went to see a church member’s three-year-old son when he was diagnosed with a minor case of epilepsy. This was 2021. It was a government hospital, and a children’s ward. Google ‘epilepsy’ to get a full perspective on why it broke our hearts for this little child.

We expected his mother, Sevanti, to be in tears or worried, or paranoid. Instead, she related to us an incident the night before when she prayed for another child in the ward for pain relief, and shared the Gospel with the mother. 

What?

In the next few weeks, we witnessed Sevanti enduring what seems to be the toughest test of her faith, and resilience. We saw God constantly holding her through helplessness until one day, her son received a better diagnosis, a more personalized treatment, and slowly got better. 

Saras, now five years old, is free of his disease. Hallelujah! He comes to church every Sunday, and we have a hard time keeping him quiet through the service. He is so chatty. 

Learning to receive help, and prayers 

“Shall I get you anything?”

I have learnt to say ‘Yes’ to this question in the last two months. 

And friends have got me Budhani Chips (from Pune); Mutton Hot Dog (from Johnny’s); fruits; my favorite home-made cookies, and dumplings (Sam’s). 

If it were on me, I probably would have never informed most friends and acquaintances about my minor accident at home. I would have just written a blog, and got myself rid of the obligation of informing with – well I posted it on social media. 

The reason is both simple and selfish. I have difficulty receiving help.

For years, I have been on the ‘giving’ side of the world. Serving, visiting friends just because, leading get-togethers and Bible studies, organizing surprise parties, gift-wrapping, running errands for family and friends, listening and empathizing, praying and fasting. 

So when I got into an immobile state, I found it so hard to receive help. A few times, I even declined help politely. And I knew it was wrong – wrong to refuse help.

It took several days of steady and continual prayer and mental preparation on my bed to accept that I needed to change.  And when I did, I was engulfed with a heartfelt love I didn’t know people were capable of.

When people choose to love you anyway 

Amid my pride, and a lot of refusals, my friends and extended community of brothers and sisters continued to pray, offer help and support. 

I kept in touch with Hannah who has had a similar surgery two years ago, I asked her many questions, and she kept me sane throughout the surgery, and post-op period. Lauren and Kristen visited me several times, prayed with me, cried with me, and encouraged me.  Jillian baked lemon cake – my favourite – for my birthday.

Sevanti led other women from our Bible study group to fast and pray for me on the day of surgery, as did Gladwin uncle and his family. Bhavna, a 17-year-old girl challenged me through her faith, and kept saying, “don’t listen to the doctors Didi, listen to God.” 

And the endless texts from friends and family from all over the country telling me I was in their prayers or asking me if they could send me something. For weeks on end, couriers arrived carrying books, food, and small things I love.

Since September 17th 2023, not even for a day, have I felt lonely. I have felt thousands of hands holding me. I have, in fact, felt overwhelmed by the love of those who loved me unconditionally. 

Here’s another fact about this: I am not worthy of this love. I don’t deserve it, I have done nothing to earn it. 

When you receive love, it is so easy to assume that you have earned it.

But the truth is when people choose to love you, it says something about their beauty, and their character. When they make sacrifices for you, it’s because they want to. 

It has nothing to do wiht you. I am blessed that I got to witness this willing love. 

The standard of selfless love  

As Christians we believe that God created man in His own image. God breathed His own breath in the nostrils of the first man that ever walked on the planet. 

Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. – Genesis 2:7 (NIV)

From the beginning, God chose to love man. He loved His creation because He wanted to. He longed for the company and fellowship of man. And so even though man disobeyed God, and sinned, God had a perfect plan for man’s redemption. 

Jesus, the son of God, took birth as a human as the ultimate standard of selfless love. A love that we are not even remotely equipped to understand. 

This season as I gear up to celebrate this Jesus, my heart is renewed in love, and in warmth. I have seen this love most closely this season of life among those who choose to love every single day. 

And the best part? Nothing can separate me from this love. 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:37-39 (NIV)

This love is what got me out of that ICU on that fateful night and day. This love is why I can sleep peacefully every day in the hope of the sunlight next morning. This love is why I want to make the best of my time in the future serving this community, and serving God. This love is why I want to love more.