Criticism, essentially focuses on the flaws in the product. It focuses on the things that can be done better. And just because they focus on the negative side of the product, does not make it unwelcome, or useless or essentially something you should not have around you.

Critics play an important part in the success of any new venture. But then again, getting a critic to find no flaws in the finished product, does not guarantee success.

People turn to their Critics, when they want genuine feedback, in a bid to be better.

In any team, a devil’s advocate, is an extremely important team member. It his responsibility to question every decision that is being made, and force the team to make a contingency plan, in case the primary plan does not work out.

Handling Criticism

In today’s world, wherein everyone is so fragile, it seems that only a handful of people can handle criticism in a healthy way. Either that, or the people who are criticizing, are doing or saying something wrong.

While some people run away from criticism, there are a few people out there who go out of their way to get criticism for their product, to satisfy their uncontrollable need for validation.

Handling criticism is essentially a decision tree problem. Being a computer engineer and analytical thinker, I try and break down the problem at hand in simple questions which will define the problem as elaborately as possible. These questions are often specific to the problem at hand, and will differ from person to person and problem to problem. Each of these questions, will have 2 distinct outcomes. And each outcome, will determine what action you should be taking.

You can check out Paranoia for an example of handling criticism.

When an attack on another position, or person, masquerading as a defense of their own position, is substituted for advocacy for the opposing view point, it’s time to take a good hard look at what it’s trying to accomplish, and whether it’s responding to a critique rather than an attack (exposing their vulnerability).

Handling criticism, all comes down to one single word in the very definition of the word “criticism” and that word is “PERCEIVED“. Everyone will criticize you based on their own perception of the situation at hand. And that perception will not necessarily be the truth. What the critics feel, is not necessarily the opinion of the crowd. Their likes and dislikes are often extreme, than those of the general consumer.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again

People believe what they want to believe. And more often than not, what they want to believe is far from the truth.

Side note for followers:
The opinion of critics is their own.
It does not mean you should blindly follow them.
Critics usually serve the chef, the owner, the creator of the reviewed item. And while expressing their viewpoint, it’s often biased towards their own likes and dislikes.

Side note for Critics:
You need to accept your responsibility to report how the general mass responded.
And not in a dismissive way, i.e the opinion of the non critics i.e general consumers, should hold equal value, if not more, as your own opinions, because ultimately, these are the people who hold the power to make a certain item a hit or a miss.

This point is applicable to everyone, rather than just the critics: Be ready to accept the fact you were wrong and be open to change your mind. Hardly a few people are willing to change their mind when presented with a valid opposition side

Moving on to Advocates and Advocacy.

Advocacy: public support for or recommendation of a particular cause or policy.

People turn to their Advocates, for guidance and support.

We turn to them for help and guidance when we’re stuck or when we are feeling a little blue. They usually are the ones whose opinion and/or feedback is constructive to our cause. These advocates usually possess a certain expertise or significant experience in any aspect, which we think would be helpful.

Advocates can also offer criticism, which is often constructive criticism. I normally would have delved into types of criticism, but there is a lot of self explanatory research out there.

The advocates are not always guides on our path. They can also be our special someones. They make us feel a lot better about ourselves. They are, at times, our own personal cheerleaders. They help give deeper meaning to our accomplishments. They stick by us when we are down and vulnerable.

Often, We don’t choose our critics, But we do have the power to choose our advocates. Nevertheless, we should always be grateful for having both of them in our lives. Valued Critics will enable us to patch up flaws before they are exploited, and Valued Advocates will provide invaluable guidance.

Having both of classes of people around us, it enables us to chart a path for our own personal growth.

Everyone has a critiquing side and an extolling (appreciating) side to them. But almost always one side over-powers the other. And based on that, we either become someone’s critic or someone’s advocate.

Based on that, I just want to leave you with one last thought,

All of us criticise, blame, resort to name calling when someone does not do something that we asked them to do.

But very few of us genuinely appreciate, show gratitude when someone does something we expected them to do, but we didn’t ask them to.

Why is that? Don’t you think that’s wrong?