Afraid of change? Let me show you the way.
Let me make something clear. I’m not going to quote any of the motivation/self-help books that we all read to sound fancy.
Instead, I’m going to tell you a story that might resonate with those, who find themselves shivering while facing their biggest fears.
Fear resides in all of us. It’s true that it presents itself in many forms but, for me, the most haunting one is the fear of change.
As human beings, anything that puts us in an uncomfortable position or requires some sort of change either within us or in our external environments is considered as the source of our biggest fear.
Full Disclosure
Last year, I found myself in a similar situation. I received an offer from Newcastle University (England) and was required to travel overseas to attend one semester abroad. Interestingly, factors such as University workload or logistics didn’t bother me but, I swear to god, that the fear of a “change in my environment” shook the very core of my being.
Living in North America, I was used to a certain type of lifestyle. The question of “whether I’ll be able to adapt to a British setting?” kept me awake during most nights.
Determined to overcome this fear, I spent a lot of time in finding the best Strategy to tackle it. I went through pages and pages of articles and self-help books to find that one perfect formula that can make me feel confident. My research met a dead end when I concluded that,
“solution for any fear is not a one size fits all formula, it's different for different individuals.”
A Change of Thought
It was not until I heard a talk by Jordan Belfort which made me realize that I was “overthinking” it.
Jordan described his philosophy regarding “managing your state” and explained the topic of fear by pointing at the only “three ways in which fear can be managed.” That talk hit the right spot. I took Jordan’s teachings and strategies to my heart and applied them the very next moment. The results blew my mind.
Jordan’s strategy to tackle fear made me understand my true self and therefore, helped me to strategically get out of my misery. I had an amazing semester at Newcastle and was able to form some of the strongest friendships of my life in a totally different part of the world.
I won’t deny the fact that I owe my success to Jordan Belfort.
Three Ways to Tackle Fear
My aim is to inspire people globally. One of the sure shot ways in which I can get closer to that goal is by sharing this “fear defying” strategy with you.
If you find yourself in a similar position, where the thought of change shakes you to the very core, I’ve got a perfect strategy for you.
Let’s jump right in.
1. Ignore It
Here’s the first and the most common strategy to manage any fear. A lot of us, when faced by something stressful, tend to ignore the problem. In other words, we act as if it does not exist.
According to Jordan, this is the lowest level or the most inefficient way to tackle any form of fear. He adds that people who operate with no motivation at all, adopt this strategy and it is evident in their attitude, style of living and most importantly, their personality.
Ignoring limits us from sharing our true emotions.
I understand if some of you guys operate this way due to your “ignorance” regarding the negative effects of this strategy. But, trust me when I say that there is a better way out there that can help you manage your fears more effectively.
2. Act In Spite of It
The second way of tackling one’s fear is a not-so-common strategy, which is usually adopted by various CEOs and upper-level representatives of an organization. I believe that these people manage their fears by battling them on a daily basis.
“A quite daring approach, innit?” This approach might work for you but as Jordan Belfort puts it,
“You might be successful, but you’ll be miserable.”
The reason for that is pretty simple. Imagine facing someone, whom you hate the most, every single day and for the rest of your life. How would you feel?
Or
How would you feel by doing the same irritating thing every single day?
Terrible, right?
Well, that’s the reason as to why this strategy might help you in becoming successful but will never let you overcome your fear completely.
“What’s more?” , keep reading and I’ll tell you. 😊
3. Understand & Accept It
Right! After reading the heading, you might be thinking that “Really? Is that it? Is that really the best way to tackle fear? Come on Jagrit, we know about this simple thing already.”
Yes, it might be the most simplistic approach, but believe me when I say that it is definitely the most effective one. Its simplicity makes it powerful.
We all know what our fears are and Jordan believes that “they are smoke streams to something bigger” that has forever haunted us. So, the best way to manage your fears is to understand what they are completely and then to accept the way they affect you.
This approach gives you two magical abilities:
- You get a stronger and a clearer understanding of who you really are.
- And, you isolate one particular aspect of that fear, which haunts you the most. In other words, you give a “name” to your fear and you “categorize” it.
For me, it was the “fear of adjustment” that was making me uncomfortable. It can be a totally different thing for you but the key is to recognize and accept its true form.
After naming my fear, I usually take three deep breaths in order to let this feeling of acceptance sink in. In this way, I’m able to reach a state where I can look right in the eye of my fear and analyze it.
Once I get a clear image, I can focus on my fear’s strong and weak points so as to form an attacking strategy. I tend to focus on those specific points or perform those specific actions, that result in the lowering or diluting the impact of that fear upon me.
For example, on my very first day in Newcastle, I put all my energy towards meeting as many students as I can in order to learn the new culture by watching them do things in their way and also, by spending quality time with them. As a result, I picked up the ins and outs of British culture with ease.
Thus, by accepting my fear and by understanding it completely, I overcame all its limitations and was able to create long-lasting relationships with other students.
This strategy comes straight out of Jordan Belfort’s genius mind and its impact is amazing. This particular strategy has helped me to overcome not just one, but many of my personal fears that used to dominate and dictate my life.
By sharing this strategy with you guys, I aim to make you believe that
No matter how big your fear is, you are more than capable of throwing it out of your way.
Provided that you understand and accept who you truly are. So, whenever you feel that overwhelming sense of uncertainty, take a few deep breaths and stare right in the eyes of your demon. Trust me, you’ll beat it down.
Thanks for reading.
Three Ways to Tackle Fear was originally published in The Ascent on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
