How To Prevent toxic people from stealing your happiness
“Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as friends and family.” — Unknown
Don’t Let Toxic People Steal Your Happiness
Getting rid of a Toxic friend is one thing, but what can you do about a toxic person that you can’t avoid?
We all have them.
The toxic people that we can’t avoid in our lives.
It might be a parent, a sibling, a friend, or even a co-worker.
So, how do you deal with the person that you want to avoid at all costs?
What Is A Toxic Person?
“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ― John Mark Green
The word ‘Toxic” is used a lot in relationships these days, but what exactly is a toxic person?
According to the Urban Dictionary:
“Basically an individual (or individuals) who has a very negative and self-entitlement disorder outlook in life. They are never happy and always want more and more…You can literally die from these people, they will lead you astray.”
What Makes A Person Toxic And Not Just Annoying?
According to Juanita Fourie, on Quora these are the most recognizable traits of Toxic people:
- Toxic people are manipulative and will play the victim to make you feel guilty so they can get their way. For a toxic person, only one person’s needs will ever matter and that one person sure ain’t you.
- Do not expect to ever hear the word “sorry” from a toxic person’s lips, as they are emotionally immature and therefore incapable of introspection and taking ownership of their mistakes.
- Having compassion for a fellow human being and their thoughts, feelings, and circumstances is something far from the heart of a toxic person and their lack of empathy.
- For the toxic, self-obsessed person, the only beauty is in the “I” (of the only beholder who truly matters).
- Expect a great deal of hurtful words from the always criticising toxic person who seems to find great pleasure in throwing the sticks and stones of their words dressed up in costumes of “Geez, you are so sensitive! I was only joking!” and “I was just being honest!”
Why It’s Important To Remove Toxic People from Your Life
“The more you stay with and/or complain about a toxic person, the more you’re merely delaying doing the important inner work you need to do — to heal your wounds, expand your limiting beliefs, and show yourself far more love and respect.” — Karen Salmansohn
You will never be able to change a truly toxic person. Their behavior will bring you down to their level. You will become bitter and angry, and their toxicity will be spread to everyone you come in contact with.
Once I was in a situation where I had a toxic boss. Their behavior ended up making me irritable and bitter. This began to rub off on my team members, and they became irritable and bitter too. To make matters worse, I brought the anger and bitterness home to my family causing more bitterness and pain.
Toxic behavior is like a contagious virus that spreads like wildfire. That is why it is so important to Remove Toxic people from your life as soon as possible.
A truly toxic person is like a cancer that can destroy your life, and the best way to deal with them is to cut them out of your life before they cause more damage.
How To Remove Toxic People From Your Life
“Toxic people can try to cling on — sometimes for years! They can make you feel guilty and because of that, are not always easy to remove from your life” — Tara Mackey
Moving past toxic relationships requires you to accept that toxic people will never change. They may promise to change and they may truly want to change, but this almost never happens. Toxic people don’t care about you, they only care about their own needs.
So, how do you remove them from your life?
- Make A Clean Break — It’s unfortunate, but sometimes you will need to cut someone out of your life. You need to do this for you and your own personal wellbeing. Just cut them out, make a clean break and move on with your life.
- Be Firm — It’s likely that the toxic people in your life will not just go away. They may even dig their heels in and refuse to leave you alone. Don’t let this happen. Be very clear about your decision to end the relationship and don’t give in.
- Set Boundaries — Set clear boundaries and stick with them. Once you make the decision to end the relationship you need to make sure that you keep your boundaries intact.
- They May Resist — Toxic people will resist your efforts to end the relationship. They will continue to attempt to manipulate and control you, but if you remain strong and continue to resist they will eventually leave you alone.
- Forgive But Don’t Forget — Forgiveness is about letting go and moving on with your life. It doesn’t mean that you approve of the behavior or forget how it has affected you in the past. It doesn’t mean that you are giving them another chance. I just means that you are letting go and moving on with your life.
“Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.” — Travis Bradberry
You must remove toxic people from your life before they steal your happiness.
They will keep to coming back if you let them, so make a clean break once you decide to cut them out of your life. Also make sure to be firm and set clear boundaries so that they don’t continue manipulate and control you.
If you remain strong and continue to resist they will eventually leave you alone.
They key is to not let them back into your life.
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How To Eliminate Toxic Relationships And Be Instantly Happier was originally published in The Ascent on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.