When I first heard of the idea of “detachment with love”, I found it very confusing. In my mind, Detachment was letting go. But I thought that you only let go of things that you no longer Loved or desired. If you loved someone how could you detach from them? This idea seemed like a complete contradiction.
I was treating people like I treated things. If I had a shirt that I loved, I wore it all the time. And then I continued to wear it, long past the time it should have been tossed in the trash can. There was no way that I was letting go of that shirt. But if I decided that I didn’t like the shirt, I tossed it without a second thought. If I didn’t want it anymore, it was easy to let go.
I treated people the same way. I tried to manage them. I tried to fix them. I tried to manipulate them. Since I loved them, I hung on tightly to them. Until I just couldn’t take it any more. Then I would toss them like the worn out shirt.
Detachment with Love is so different than my old pattern. Love isn’t about control, demands, or manipulation.
Sunshine is a wonderful metaphor for Detachment with Love. The sun is always shining on the Earth. But I have total freedom to be out in the sun or to hide in the shadows. The sun doesn’t withhold it’s light if I hide from it. It’s unconditional and detached.
I can bring that same unconditional love into all of my relationships. I have the ability to focus on pure positive energy, and let it flow freely to others. They don’t have to earn my love. I can be the Love, and let them choose their own path.
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