I looked at my mum and smiled sheepishly but she was busy searching for heaven-knows-what in one of her church handbags. I went back to chatting with the love of my life oo. From his previous messages, I saw that he had tried to chat me up severally to no avail. He even used those romantic Facebook stickers but none seemed to have caught my attention. Long story short, we got chatting. For the next one week, we were professing love for each other. At times, he'd call me and we would talk for more than one hour. It seemed perfect o, and was also a chance to actually get to understand how he spoke his own English and all those wahala that comes with keeping up with the whites. This would make it easier for me to settle down when we finally got married. 

From our conversations, I got to know that 'his mum was a Nigerian descent and he was already making plans to come and settle in Nigeria so he could learn our culture'. He would be coming in 6 weeks times and would like to send some of gadgets to me. A MacBook, a tablet and his phones. He even went shopping for me. He showed me the pictures which included so many shoes, some handbags and these jaw-dropping dresses. He'd package them and send them to me prior to his visit and would want me to wear one of the dresses when I come to pick him and the girls up at the airport. 

At this point ehn, I didn't even find the right words or scriptures to use in thanking this my God. Jehovah over-do! American wonder collected my name, address and phone number so that the courier company, DHL would use it to deliver the package to me.

Two weeks later, my goods arrived and I got a call from American wonder saying that he had just been notified that the package had been seized by Lagos airport Custom Officers because they detected hard currency inside. He had wrapped and hidden '1000 pounds' as a surprise for me so I should just do my best to rectify it. We would talk about everything when he returned. I quickly 

brought out calculator and did the maths oo. It wasn't convincing enough so I googled it.

"Lobatan! This is how I am about to turn to OBO overnight. But wait oo. I told you that I was in Abuja so how package take reach Lagos now? Anyways, no need crying over spilled milk jare". The content of the package was enough consolation for the stress it was going to put me through.

As soon he finished talking, someone from the airport called and convinced me that we could 'settle' 

some of the officers and they'd release the package. He was personally going to ensure that  the package was delivered to me in Abuja safely. "Can you see how God kept sending his angels to be a blessing to me that period?"......or so I thought. He had taken one of the custom people aside and given him 15k (fifteen thousand naira) and it was the only money he had on him at the time but needed five thousand naira to put the package on the next flight to Abuja.

I had the cash in my purse because I had intended to go to the market later in the day so I sent it to him through Zenith bank. What was 5k compared to my lovely Pounds that was waiting to be changed by one Aboki? 

The package got to Abuja but the custom officers there too had intercepted it again. I wasn't understanding ooo. "Shebi we have settled your brothers in Lagos....kilode gan?"

They were insisting that I paid 100k and I had to pay in cash/person which meant traveling to Lagos. "See wahala.....Lagos keh?". I knew I couldn't make it to Lagos so I called my Aunt who resides in Ajah to help me pick up the package for me and waybill it. I'd refund her the 100k as soon as possible. She was surprised and asked for further explanation so I explained to her the package story.

You needed to have seen the way she screamed my native name. In Nigeria, once family members call you by your native name, it's assumed that whatever the matter is, was serious; especially when they don't address you that way normally.  "I hope you've not sent anything to them oo. They're 419 people ooo", she said before bursting into a fit of laughter. How could she be laughing in this kind of serious matter? I couldn't even open my mouth to tell her about the 5k.

"Don't mind them oo. They almost did the same thing to my friend, Ada, three weeks ago o. Don't mind them jor. Airport ko, courier ni," and she ended the call. 

Immediately she ended the call, I started to hear Nollywood suspense soundtrack playing in my head. "Haaaa....but my Theron cannot be a scammer now? I spoke to him severally. We shared pictures online too. What about the girls? I even spoke to the elder one 3 days ago. This has to be a joke. Charm no dey work for my head so this one won't be the first to succeed. Let me call him first and update him on the latest news at the airport". 

As soon as he answered the phone, that was when the charm stopped working oo. I suddenly realized that the background noise there and the one at "the two airports" were the same. 

"Bia o, this voice doesn't sound like oyibo voice na? Sounds more like a two-minutes borrowed accent that wasn't even fluent enough to pass for someone who been outside the shores of Nigeria. Pls don't laugh at me ooo.....my mumu don do! Haaa....Ezinne! (So this time around, I called out my own native name by myself because the matter don tie wrapper so tey e go party join sef)".  I  asked him immediately if he was trying to dupe me? As soon as he began to stutter, I ended the call and went back to his Facebook profile. He had blocked me in the twinkle of an eye. I began to decipher the 

voice of the Holy Spirit saying that that account was hacked and now being used to defraud people. Congrats to me for being a "mugu". Or would you call it "maga"?

All my hopes and dreams had just been dashed to the rocks!

I heard mum call me from her room. "When are you going to the market madam, it's almost 5pm and remember that you promised to prepare that banga stew oo", she reminded me as I appeared at the door of her room.

"Mtchewwww.......which yeye market is this one talking about. As jobless as I am now, I just lost five thousand naira to 419 people and you're here talking about......", I murmured as I turned towards the parlor with tears eyes and a heavy heart.

Since then, I stopped chatting on Facebook ooo, even with my friends and old course mates. Maybe Facebook wasn't for me after all. 

Thanks for reading to the end. 

What do you think about this whole experience? Have you ever experienced or escaped such? Do share your thoughts in the comment section below. I'll be waiting to read and reply to them.

Till I see you in my next post or video........ Take this kiss 😘😘

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