Hello Gustavo,
This is another piece of writing I worked on.
Thanks for your hard work and dedication!
Task:
A job Fair was recently held in your town for international organizations and companies to promote careers available for young people. You have been asked to write a report of the Jobs Fair for your college website. You should briefly describe the event and identify two or three promotions of particular interest and relevance. You should also evaluate the extent to which such events can open young people’s minds to new challenges and career opportunities. Write your report.
Feedback in red
Jobs fair in Valencia
Introduction
The aim of this report is to provide an overview of the jobs fair held in Valencia, as well as to identify the promotions of more relevance and discuss to what extend events such as this, can benefit students in our college.
Overview and best promotions
Multiple international organizations met together at the Exhibition Centre last Saturday, September 1. Around 2,000 students from the region attended this annual event. Many programs were launched in this edition, with two of them clearly standing out.
The first one, was the one of the Berkeley University in California. They presented their new work and study program, especially addressed to business students. Hundreds applied for a chance to study in the USA and work for a Californian Start-up.
The second one came from Amsterdam’s Queen University, offering a remunerated internship for future language teachers. (Improve connection between sentences : use of connectors /linking words)
New challenges and career opportunities
Evaluation and recommendation