Catching Up

Wow, I haven't posted anything since June!  I apologize for the long absence.  I've been very focused on trying to find a job.  Unfortunately, I've have no luck yet.  I've been on a few interviews and gotten any offers yet.  After a lot of thinking I rewrote my basic template resume recently and I got a call right away from a local defense contractor.  From speaking with the recruiter it sounded like I practically had the job and I just needed to go in and interview with the rest of the team.  Long story short, the interview didn't go as well as I'd hoped and I didn't get the job.  Not only did I not get the job, but they never even bothered to call me back to tell me I didn't get it.  My guess is that my anxiety got the best of me and I just started talking too much.  Even with all the research and practicing I still can't seem to do a good interview.

So needless to say things I haven't been in the mood to write very much.  However, I can't complain too much because I have a roof over my head, food in my cabinets, and my daughter and I are healthy.  I recently I lost a dear friend to suicide and my personal hero was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It made me realize two things: i'm healthy and my life isn't too bad.  My career issues are only temporary.

Treatment Update

So as far as treatment goes I've not been successful yet.  I tried the Mindfulness Based Therapy and I made it through two sessions and I couldn't go back.  Part of the therapy was that we don't discuss our trauma and we only focus on the now.  Sounds easy right?  I found that I was actually pretty good at meditation, but I sucked at focusing on the now.

I've spent the last several months cocooned in the house so now when I do go out, I'm a nervous wreck and irritable.  The nightmares are back too.  Although I think that could be attributed to all of the ISIS news on television.  I avoid reading about it because it just upsets me.  The more I think about Iraq and why we went there, the more I feel like we were lied to (yes I know I'm late to the party).  I wanted to believe in why we were there, otherwise all the deaths and injuries were for nothing.  And that's what truly upsets me.  Anyway, I'm not going to go off on a rant about it, it's just something that has been heavily weighing on my mind.

So that's my update, I haven't really had anything worthwhile to talk about but for those that continue to read, I didn't want to leave everyone hanging!