Several Fruit representatives were hanging out at the orchard discussing enterprises of great pith. Banana, who everyone thought was a slippery customer, was lately making headlines for his health benefits. The rah-rah reviews had planted seeds of envy in fruitdom, replacing peels of laughter that had erupted when many Latin American republics embraced Banana, though he was originally from Southeast Asia. “Well, if it makes y’all happy, the publicity has turned to notoriety after actor Rahul Bose reported that a five-star hotel charged Rs 442 for couple of us. It’s driving me nuts!” Banana complained.

“Hey, don’t blame us! Just say they are Going Bananas!” snapped Cashew, who was Brazilian. “I have a hard enough time with everyone forgetting I’m primarily a fruit with an accessory nut.” “Such trivial grievances,” sneered Peach, who was Chinese and was living a happy life with Cream before she was dragged into a political fracas in America. “I’m sandwiched between Im and Ment and haven’t a clue who they are.” Fig, who claimed to be Greek and Roman, tried to explain impeachment, but no one cared. Plum, who like Peach was also Chinese and was Forever looking for assignments, wondered why no one coined the word “im-plum-ment”.

Apple, the most polished among fruits, had his own gripes. He was an American of European origin, had links to Newton, had lent his name to a Silicon Valley company, and was eyed by many. But some people thought he was rotten. They were forever upsetting his cart. He envied Cherry, who was Turkish and was always being picked from a bowl called Life. Cherry was also frequently placed on top of the cake unlike other unlucky fruits, particularly Lemon, who was from Indo-China and was seen as being good only for a tart. Lemon was also bitter that people were forever making lemonade of her citing Life, and that she was a favourite of used car dealers. “There is a kernel of truth to it. No one has ever seen Cherry in the pits,” noted Grape, who was Mediterranean, and was also sour and full of wrath, though he was forever being wined and dined.

Mango, who was from India, listened quietly to all the other fruits moping. Although they had greater claim to fame and idioms he was truly the King of Fruits, despite being dismissed as aam – ordinary – at home. In fact, he considered himself a Philosopher-King among fruits, a Vishwa-Guru. Loftily, he said to himself: I think, therefore I Aam.