I’m spending World Lockdown in Finland, and as with everything, there could be better places, while some could be worse. Finland is not unfamiliar territory, as I’ve lived here before, and I’ve always had Finnish friends either from Finland proper or who had Finnish ancestry. I also lived in New England, which to me always is to America as the Nordics are to Europe. In short, this is not unfamiliar territory, I know how things work for the most part. And Finland has been the place I’ve lived in the longest at a single stretch. Which, to tell you the truth, completely boggles my mind. Growing up I loved Finland, an interest that was fueled as much by the stories told about it as the teachers who told it. I attended a school that focused very much on the aspect of the forest and especially the North, whether that makes it a prime suspect of White Supremacy (as a good friend who attended the same school stated) remains open to debate. My leaning is yes, but let’s not get sidetracked. 

Supremacy, however, is a crucial subject when addressing Finland, and should not be left out of the equation. Finland is, has, and always will be a beautiful Country, and the people I met and can now call my friends have not just been there for me (an expression which merits way more attention than we give it when we use it almost in passing), but have been instrumental in pulling me back when the ever-present question for all TCKs / CCKs of “where should I go now / next” came up. I’m told that according to a Persian saying, he who wants a rose must respect the thorn, and more than the saying we in the Western world tend to use and know, this rings true in this case. Finland is indeed the most content (if we take happy in that meaning) country in the world, the question is for whom. 

Whether you believe that those who eventually populated Finland initially came out of Mongolia, or you think they came from farther / closer afield, barring Swedish and Russian influences (with a small sprinkling of German), most people would agree that whoever arrived here first was not part of the general Western European prototype that eventually came to be instantly recognizable. Finland was different. The forests stayed bigger than in most countries, population density was an abstract concept, and overall distance was something accepted as a fait accompli rather than a luxury to strive for. While this is admittedly a very (and deliberate) oversimplified view, it is not hard to imagine. Tourists come here for the vast open space, sightseeing is connected to nature more than to architecture, and Santa Claus Village is more of a draw than downtown Helsinki. In other words, Finland has honed its introvert, keep-your-distance-status for centuries. Which for a visitor can go either way. You will pretty much be left in peace either because people are wary of you, or because they just want to give you space. Blogs and articles abound on that famous reserve, on how insular the country is as a whole, and all the aspects – both good and bad – this brings with it. It has almost become a rite of passage to comment and internalize those cliches and weave them into any conversation as facts. Introvert friends from any country are a good way to get an idea of what life here would be like. As is imagining yourself moving to a village. 

My hometown has more inhabitants than the entire country has citizens, even on the busiest days with every port teeming with cruises and airplanes discharging tourists in minute-intervals. Most places I’ve lived in deviate from the numbers of my hometown by a few million, so in the end there’s no real difference. I’d even be willing to bet that the district I call home in Paris has more people than the entire country of Finland, never mind the capital. You are literally separated from anyone in the nation by at most two degrees. It still won’t help you find specific people – believe me, I’ve tried and so far at least have failed – but people will know your business. If you develop a bad reputation, you will remain with that bad reputation. It has to be said that people overall tend to be very understanding and also forgiving. Locals have assured me that having multiple partners is not a stigma, at least not in the capital, for the simple pragmatic reason that sex is a fact of life and your options – compared to other places at least – are severy limited. Where you will run into problems is when it comes to work, getting it. It’s not impossible, despite many expats trying to reassure you of the opposite, it’s just more difficult. 

Partly, this is due to people taking relationships, especially when it comes to work and friendship,  seriously. You’re assumed to be in it for the long haul, so not being hurt and not wasting your time and energy is a key element. You want someone you connect with, who gets you, and who has the capability of working on their own. I find many similarities to the general attitude of many introvert friends here, as one person put it, “friendships are tedious to maintain, because you constantly have to chat and check in with them.” As an extrovert myself that’s just what I like about friendships, sharing your thoughts, sending a quick message, but I recharge in crowds, so for someone who prefers silence, this would indeed be hell, even I can see that. Seen from that angle, it is perhaps easier to understand why those hiring prefer to opt for the family member or friend or, failing that, go off personal recommendations by a trusted person in their vicinity. Not ideal, but understandable. And not everyone is like this. Many in fact welcome that breath of fresh air, for their own reasons, to be with it, appear more open, get different benefits, different perspectives, the list is seemingly endless. 

There is, however, a darker element connected to all this, which is that when you are so used to and focused on working with your own, you insulate yourself to the point of rejecting anything that is not part of how you like to operate. Think of the way your friends cook for example, how they raise their children, or how they get up in the morning (do they snooze their alarms several times, bound out of bed, have / don’t have breakfast). There’s no right or wrong method, but everyone will swear by their own way as The Best Method. Which isn’t all bad, if it works for you, by all means you do you. Where it becomes problematic is when it impacts others. And with the world opening up as it has – barring this year of utter hell otherwise known as 2020 – when you staunchly maintain that your way is the only way, that’s when we begin to have issues. It’s not just about having a certain work ethic on the job, it’s about (sub)consciously assuming things about the other, the guest, the newcomer, and those passing through, when we run into complications. And while Finland deserves its reputation of being (one of) the most content place(es) on Earth, the darker side of racism and varying degrees of rejection if your name does not contain the necessary sounds to it is a fact that bears closer scrutiny. 

I’ve always been a big believer in discussion, which to me has always entailed looking at things from various angles. I want to understand the other person’s point of view, even if we’re miles apart on any spectrum. Racists, too, have their reasons for thinking as they do. And while I do not condone their behavior and attitudes in any way, I want to understand why they act and think that way. In many ways we are all guilty of placing ourselves morally higher than a certain group of people, and that group can vary. We are all on some level wary of The Other. The question is how we approach that wariness. And this is what I’ll be exploring while “stuck” here. So feel free to share your points of view and engage. Please keep in mind that comments are still moderated and anything deemed inappropriate to the conversation will be deleted. 

Finland is indeed the most content (if we take happy in that meaning) place in the world, the question is for whom.