Drunk and depressed! It’s no place to be when visiting a pub with your partner, or fellow editor for that matter. The music is of a different breed tonight. Pool that’s our game of choice on this drunken, drug fueled fiasco. How would hunter feel if he could write on his phone?
Solids you bastard! Pay attention to the damn game. The HOB’s brews are flowing and we are in our 3rd serious competition of the day. My last day of vacation, last day to unwind. Last day before the real work starts of taking my comps for my Masters degree and making a great run in my full time job.
Tim has the Vaperizor. This defective Florida fan from Arkansas just told me how damn bad he feels for me; what a fuck!
Tim wishes he had a vaporizer. Defective ain’t shit and it won’t ever be.
He has it in his pocket, what a raging drunk!
Never that rat bastard the cops aren’t after me after all. How many afters is that? We can’t keep a good thing going.
He can take it with him if he wants I can get another. However, it needs to be latter in the night. Boy, I’d love a heads up too.
Heads up would make sense; yeah, I guess. These fucks playing the Connect 4 by our pool table what the hell is that all about?
Its horrendous to play connect four at a pub. Just look at these blocks, they are definitely inebriated.
Everything comes to an end, and that’s the point. Vacations, lives, horrendous Presidents it all ends. So, your choices are the only thing you have and really some scientists are saying we don’t even have that because your brain makes decisions before your aware of them. How do you not catch that ball?
Potato Parcel! What the hell kind of idea is that? A genius one by the inventor. What can we come up with? Macaroni Mail or some shit. Don't think about stealing that idea it's already patented I just filled out the paperwork and by the time this Article is published it will have gone through the proper channels. This writing is enjoyable, nothing that I'm gonna become rich over that's for sure. I hope you guys are enjoying the blog. Chad's last post was fantastic and it should be taken seriously. That might get me taken away by white men in black suits thinking they have jurisdiction but fuck them I'm ready for whatever consequences come my way. I'm not understanding how Trump is still the U.S. president when he's obviously Russia's bitch.
This rain has been seemingly nonstop this week and reminds me of the day that brought about the beginning of this article which had nothing to do with the last paragraph of this article. Anyways the opening section was written by both yours truly and Chad, taking turns typing on a digital recorder while we were out playing pool while in the doldrums of my last day in Florida for my vacation. The last day of that trip's weather was rainy much like today and forced us inside for a good bit of it rather than soaking up the last ounces of Florida sun before heading back to the Ozarks and the real world. Obviously by the text that began that conversation it was all fun and games then took a turn into depression. You can escape into the night's air for only so long, usually anywhere from 4-10 beers before you can't get any drunker, the medicinal vaporizer feeding the receptors in the brain fades in its effect, and people in your own party just want to get to sleep. It's a sad case of affairs but for pros like us we just try to hang on to the feeling for as long as we can.
Maybe I'm just nostalgic for that day in Florida. A day that begin by driving to the beach on Honeymoon Island for one last walk as clouds rolled in before heading to Lenny's Restaurant in Clearwater, a place that is hard to match and a staple on my trips to Florida. Lenny's starts you off with a danish basket, one basket per person, to go along with your coffee while you wait for your, as I recommend, benedict and homefries with onions. I choose the crabcake benedict and can't steer away from it despite the tempting options of the Cajun (gator), or the chicken n' waffles. After getting full no one knew what to do the rest of the day before going out for drinks on the town.
Bowling was the pick and the alley experience started slow before Chad yelled at the concierge to get us a spot away from the kids. Why the hell would they want us to be stuck in between birthday parties of six year olds when there are fifteen open lanes right by the bar? White Russians, Long Island Iced Teas, margaritas and lagers flowed for the duration of the two hour roll fest making the experience that much better. The rain slowed up to a sprinkle and disc golf was next on the menu. You've really got to earn your drinking that's what I always say and nothing like back to back athletic endeavors. The disc golf course was mostly empty besides a few hippies and their dogs relaxing on picnic tables before their fourth or fifth round of disc golf that day I assume. Chad kicked our ass in the sport and that was turn about fair play after the whipping he took in bowling.
This is a sports desk article, or rather will be by the end when it has my name on it ha. I'm glad to be sitting here listening to the Drive By Truckers' album "Southern Rock Opera" planning what food we're gonna make for the Saturday of September 1st, the day college football begins. Should we fry, grill, smoke or all three? It's looking to be the best slate of 1st week games in a long time with 11 a.m., a usually bland batch of games that nobody feels you have to be locked in on the couch or recliner for, actually is very enticing with: Florida Atlantic @ Oklahoma (where I'll be rooting for Lane Kiffin to pull the road upset), Maryland vs. Texas (not the greatest but still), Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech (possibly a 77-70 final score?), and Oregon State @ Ohio State (Beavers will be a huge underdog but Ohio State is dragging its feet on firing slimeball Urban Meyer and I'll be rooting for the Beavers since this isn't baseball.)
Oh no, what did I do? I reminded myself of the painful last sentence Chad typed at the beginning of this article: How do you not catch that ball? Depression has set in again, two months removed from the championship college baseball series involving my Arkansas Razorbacks vs. the Oregon State Beavers. I don't want to go into too far of details and this is not a work in a therapeutic removal of a negative memory it seems but the Razorbacks were up 1 game to 0 in a best of 3 series, had the lead in the 9th, one out away from the national championship, and we had three guys look at a ball drop between them. The next pitch or close to it the Beavers homer to take the lead. Heartbreaking. This is not helping one bit. Hopefully it helps anyone reading this article that aren't Razorback fans realize "wow I'm lucky I didn't endure that especially on vacation."
Luckily it's almost football season. I had an "almost football season" article last year and most likely will have one next year and the year after etc. etc. etc. I'll take suggestions on what to cook all season readers just fyi. Just call the number or text it. Ask some questions, let me know what games you're watching.
In a circumvent way I'm gonna get back to that last day in Florida. We started the night off at the Dunedin Brewery, a restaurant that is a favorite of ours going back to Chad's wedding reception in which the Moonshinin' Three played a drunken performance on badly tuned instruments, where there was a fish taco, chocolate pie and
cupcake buffet, and unlimited house brews. The place was packed on this particular Friday night as a band was beginning to set up their instruments but we found a booth spot right by a window next to the band. I had a round of fish tacos accompanied by some Death-Hacker DIPA's, Apricot Peaches and Mainline Imperial Porters. The beer was fantastic as always but the band was horrible and we moved on to the nearby Dunedin House of Beer where we began this article. The Dunedin HOB has 40 beers on tap and I sadly wasn't able to get through all of them. Damn! Maybe if we hadn't stopped by the brewery to begin the night. The vaporizer was passed around while we played some games of billiards and no one cared as no one knew what was going on. There were darts being thrown around, as before mentioned life size Connect4, virtual beer pong, pinball and things were beginning to get weird as the peak of the night would eclipse and fall.
Why did we leave the HOB? Why did everyone get tired of the game of pool? The designated driver had to sober up and the 2% abv lambics didn't fool him into staying. That wasn't our last stop as we were told to try the Soggy Bottom Brewery. What a mistake that was! The hipster dressed bartenders made the place seem welcoming I guess but you can only fool someone for so long. I put my quarters into the new-school jukebox and play Merle Haggard's "Tonight I'll Stay Here and Drink" which wasn't contested but by damn my next pick was "Silver Wings" and was changed by the unhip bartenders to some bullshit modern pop dance hit one minute in. The night was coming to an end, the party was coming to an end and these fat, fake bartenders were looking for a fight. I was in a depressed state, not in a fighting state and only gave them a piece of our minds in words and they couldn't retaliate but to act like Merle Haggard wasn't cool and turn their attention to the dumb that was seated at their bar flirting because no one else would have them. The nerve of the poor bastard!
It was over. If you're ever in Dunedin do NOT go to Soggy Bottom Brewery unless you want to raise hell with the scum working behind the bar. I was only slightly hungover the next morning and proceeded to drive 16 of the 18 hours back to the Ozarks with only a slight nap beside the crappie haven of Lake Chicot in between.
Football season is upon us folks. Trump is a piece of shit, treasonous sellout communist. Thanks for reading!
Hopefully a podcast will come soon.
T.D.
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