Surely the fate of Human Beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so does the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. Ecclesiastes 3:19
Believe it or not, I've been accused of being a nihilistic, pessimistic, and fairly melancholy before. Oftentimes those accusers aren't wrong. But then Joe Cocker shows up in my life and reminds me that I can get by with a little help from my friends. For those of you saying, "That's a Beatles song Matt," you're wrong. Joe Cocker took that shit and sprinted away with it on August 17, 1969. There's just something about that song that always lifts me up, no matter how hard Bill Withers tries to bring me back down. That's how it is tonight as I sit and try to seriously Write for the first time in four months.
The first song that popped up on my shuffle was Marvin Gaye to ask "What's Going On." It's fitting now, but then again, I suppose that question, and song, has never really lost its relevance. My phone quickly churns through the previously mentioned songs and then finds some P-Funk to really fire things up. So, what should I write about? The insane state of college football? All of the sudden sexual assault allegations finally coming into the light? Net neutrality? Taxes? I guess I'll just spew my thoughts and opinions and see what comes up as Black Sabbath's "The Wizard" demonstrates how bad ass the harmonica can be.
Why do I do this anyway? I write for a small blog without a ton of readers without much of a steady timeline, no financial gain, no chance of fame, and no one even asking for me to continue. As I stated above, I haven't written in four months! I never got an email, a message, or a tweet from a reader asking for the good read. I guess I just enjoy it. It's a great outlet to get my thoughts out to someone aside from my wife, and fellow writers. I listen to a lot of Joe Rogan's podcasts and hearing him speak recently about just going for it and doing what you like really motivated me to sit down, alter my consciousness, and write. If I don't do it then there is absolutely no chance for anyone to agree with me, hate me, love me, or even be aware of me. Who cares if not everyone who reads my shit likes it? I like doing it!
Man, The Carter III, what an excellent throwback. I'll never understand how so many people can just hate RAP music. It's literally Rhythm and Poetry. It has produced some of the greatest poetry and poets of our generation too. Most rappers may not see themselves as such, or even refuse to do so, but that's exactly how Tupac saw himself. He was a poet and an artist who wrote and spoke about things he experienced. And just to make people aware, I don't like all of it. Some of that simple, auto-tuned garbage should go away. It's not just new rap either. There are plenty of examples from all generations of rap music.
Back to Rogan, he introduced me to a man named Cameron Hanes, who is a professional bow hunter, marathon runner, and all around inspirational guy. During one of the podcasts he was on though an issue he brought up was conservative lawmakers trying to sell off public lands, which the federal government manages. This year wasn't the first time that has happened either, there was legislation in 2015 which would allow for sale of federal land to private organizations, or to the states. Now, some people may read this and think, "good, the federal government should allow the states to control the land." The problem with that is states tend to sell off land in times of economic stress, and most states that have lots of public use lands don't have the funding required to maintain the land without federal assistance. The poorest states, like Arkansas, have lots of land available for people like myself who love to fish, hunt, camp, and just get out. These states often have a strong support for the same damn people who want to sell their lands though. It makes about as much sense as supporting a tax plan which would negatively affect you as a low income earner and add significantly to the deficit.
Jesus, I started this article a long time ago. I'm honestly not even sure how long it has been. When I initially decided to write again I planned on deleting the previously read paragraphs. However, at the behest of my editor and upon further inspection, I have decided to leave the content as is. While this is obvious to the readers at this point, it is brand new information to me. On to the new stuff.
Just as when I started this post months ago, choosing the right music for the background is a difficult task, but it's hard to go wrong with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, so that's what it'll be for now. Let's allow them to serenade me as I try to explain to the now thousands of subscribers why I, and the rest of the Guilty Addictions staff are so terrible at writing and posting on a regular basis. Speaking for the entire staff I'll just say that this is our hobby, we are all very busy individuals right now. Now that I've spoken for the other guys, I'll tell you all a bunch of garbage, which I'm sure you don't want to read. Before I do that though, let's put on some Guns N' Roses. That's better.
Writing scares me. It scares me for a multitude of reasons. It's hard, I still don't believe myself to be very good at it, no one needs or wants my opinions, and honestly, I'm afraid to express my opinions. Lets put on The Cure so I can really slip into some depression and self-loathing as I type this next part. Pictures of You ought to do it.
Like most people who aren't sociopaths I am all too aware of what others think, or may think of me. Having a certain degree of shame is a healthy thing for human beings. This may be a controversial statement, but caring what others think of your looks, behavior, personality, and even hobbies is normal. It's also normal and healthy to care about those things yourself. Are some of these things unhealthy to obsess over? Absolutely! Should we as a society and species try to move past some of these things? Hell yes! Unfortunately, many of the things we experience shame over, both for ourselves and others, are hardwired into us through years of evolution and are going to take many generations of conscious effort to change. "Wait, what in the hell does this have to do with your shitty writing though?" Good question.
Well, the reason why I am so afraid to express my opinions on this blog is that I'm really afraid of the potential shame, which may come along with failure, and the ridicule by my friends, family, academic peers, and even strangers may bring. You see, like most people, I have a wide array of friends. Some may be liberal, conservative, or centrist, but they're all there. Having grown up in Arkansas, and served time in the Marine Corps though, so most of my closest friends tend to be far more conservative. The irony in this is that they're also some debauched degenerates as well. My fellow Marines are the closest friends I've ever had, and even the ones whom I disagree with ideologically are men and women whom I'd gladly give my life for. I am still afraid that they would read my writings, hate them, or the opinions expressed within and this would cause an irreparable rift in our friendship.
On the other side of this token, I do hold some conservative values as well. If you do come here for only my rambling, and I don't blame you, it may surprise you that the rest of the writers are probably more liberal than I am in some ways. Those drug addled Hunter Thompson wannabes wouldn't mind a communist revolution if we're being candid. Yet, I care what they think of me as well. They could all gather their collective power and organize a coup to have me and my Tumblr tier blog posts kicked right off of this platform. One of them is my brother, and I'd rather not be on the outs with family.
If all of this weren't enough though, I also have to think about my future here. I'm not super optimistic about this little blog ever leading to anything close to financial security, if it does, then you readers are even more warped than I am. I have bitched and complained before about how sensitive people are, but you know what, lets kick that horses' head in some more! This calls for some Pantera. If you don't want to kick some ass when Cowboys from Hell is blasting, then you're broken.
You have to be so careful now with everything you say. People throw around words like fascist so much now that they're starting to lose some effect. Seeing people be ousted from their work, school, and countless other positions is very worrying for someone such as myself. On one hand you have actual racists like those miserable cunts in Charlottesville screaming "Jews will not replace us." Those people were brazen enough to go out in public with symbols of white supremacy and separatism in full display; with their faces in full view. Any of them who were outed as being the scum they are deserve to be terminated by their private employers.
There are also people such as Bret Weinstein, a Jewish man whom the aforementioned racists hate to no end. Mr. Weinstein is seen as a racist by some because he didn't feel as if he should leave Evergreen campus on a day in which white students and staff were encouraged to do so. He instead believed that white students and staff, and those of color should be together instead of separated, that the very real issues the campus faces can be better discussed together. Because of his stance and because he didn't leave, he was met with accusations of racism on his part, and he was threatened with physical violence. Having heard him speak and listen to his opinions, I really do not believe that this man is a racist. Whether you agree with his opinions or not, saying that he is a racist seems disingenuous at best and the fact that he was threatened is inexcusable.
With this kind of thing becoming more and more common, I worry that something I write could be dug up and isolated or misconstrued. I could be kicked out of school for violating some code of conduct, or a future employer may find something I've said and use that as ammunition to fire me or just toss a job application in the trash where it probably belongs. This kind of thing really worries me. It is legitimately one of the reasons I do not write very often, and why I am nervous to put my thoughts and opinions out there. While I don't think my opinions are particularly well reasoned or thought out sometimes, at least I am creating some sort of dialogue.
That is what this country is lacking, dialogue. Sure, plenty of people are talking, but not many are truly listening and responding. We're stuck in a stalemate, each group entrenched like it's The Great War all over again. Hell, even then the French, German, and British soldiers decided to celebrate Christmas of 1914 in relative peace while in a war, actively trying to kill one another. And that's what things seem like between the extremes of our ideologies; war. Sure, it's more reminiscent of a cold war, but it's still extremely hostile. Every protest seems as though it could boil over into chaos, elections feel more significant than ever, speaking in public forums could result in some serious backlash. With each ideological extreme separating themselves into bubbles and echo chambers, people are being cutoff from the humanity of the "other."
Once we stop seeing each other as people, who for the most part want the same things; food, water, shelter, education, love, then we are in some serious trouble. Make no mistake, we all want the same things as human beings, but we all have different ideas on how to get there. While I may not think every swinging dick should own a firearm that greatly enhances your ability to kill other people in large numbers, I do understand the want and need for many other types of firearms. I understand people's reluctance to "disarm" themselves. I want our country to be strong and secure, I gave a good portion of my life in service to this great nation. I will not, however, allow fear and insecurities to dictate my humanity. At the same time, if your ideologies call for hating because of a lack of faith, sexual orientation, skin color, or if you support child marriage, genital mutilation, or other antiquated practices, then you will not have my support. In fact, I would support you being repeatedly kicked in the genitals until you decided to give up those beliefs.
While this last statement should be an obvious exaggeration, I am most assuredly not anti-violence. I practice violence nearly everyday in kickboxing, and Jiu-Jitsu. I firmly believe that people have every right to defend themselves. Turning the other cheek only gets you knocked out in most cases. Defusing situations, and talking down violence is always ideal, but this is sometimes not attainable. If you can kill a bully with kindness, then that's the best answer. If they antagonize violence, then you should put them to sleep and allow them to think on the decisions that lead them to their unplanned nap.
What is my point with all of this though? Am I just a flip-flopping, wishy-washy jerk with no concrete thoughts on anything? It's possible. Really though, I think it's that people are complicated, just as is the rest of life. Instead of unfriending and blocking the people you disagree with and only listening to those with whom you already share ideas and opinions, just talk to them. Things may get heated, and even nasty at times, but conversation is the key. When you get to the point where you're sexuality is being called into question, and you're implying that their family tree is lacking in branches, then take a break. Cool off for a while and come back to the conversation later. Megan Phelps-Roper is a perfect example of what this can lead to. Some people may be ignorant in the matter they have opinions on, or maybe you are the ignorant one. No one ever wants to admit ignorance, but it isn't as bad as it seems. Ignorance is something everyone suffers from to a certain degree, and it doesn't have to be a permanent thing.
We, as a people, still have a long way to go in improving our lives and this world, but it can be an achievable thing. Try to experience new places, and people. We can stop this self imposed segregation that still plagues us. We can come together more while still celebrating cultural differences. Embrace your fellow man. Lift one another up. As much as it may be easier to sometimes write off, ignore, and hate, resist that urge. Don't try to be a "better person," just be a damn person. Be personable, because in the end, we all laugh at the same bodily functions, genitalia jokes, and physical pain brought on by poor decisions of others. That's really the point.
I'd just like to take a second now to thank the readers, new and old, who have stuck it out while our staff have nursed our thumbs with our asses. We are painfully aware of how terrible we are at churning out the "quality" content. I can say, with a reasonable degree of certainty, that we will be getting more out for you. Hopefully my next one will contain some more lighthearted tones as well. If you are enjoying what we have to say, continue to subscribe, follow us on social media like Facebook and Twitter, and maybe become a patreon supporter as well.
Also, just to get a cheap plug in for my gym, if you live in the central Arkansas area and are looking to get in shape and/or defend yourself, check out Alliance Jiu-Jitsu of Arkansas, the only Alliance affiliate in the state.
Editors Note: This photo is a Creative Commons licensed photo from Wikimedia Commons.
