I would've liked to start the New Year with a clean slate.

I always do, yet I realized early on I wouldn't be able to with this one. And so I think I've come to peace with that prospect a bit more than usual.

Life runs on.

It runs on regardless of if there is a new year or no. Or new week or no. Whatever phase of days you currently reside in, it moves on, so why treat any new day any different? It always comes with the same amount of potential for betterment and progress - even if a 'New Year' somehow still carries with it that illusion of MORE.

Maybe it's because we change our calendars.

Maybe it's because we get new diaries, and schedules, and routines, and that our new plans and ambitions also manifest themselves in new machinery we now rely on to carry us forward, like for example a brand new cellphone that'll allow us to be however many times more productive than we were before (I just bought one - a Samsung S10e - it boots fast, takes good pictures and fits my pocket - so far I love it), but really... shouldn't we slow down instead?

What's the point of letting ourselves be carried away on this wave of technological revolution, where on top it may look fine and futuristic, but below all the fascinating creatures we share this planet with are dying at our expense, and we leave behind this radical rainbow of newness a trail of scorched earth, plastics, pesticides, mountains of trash and bitterness?

I'd like to start this new year new, too... but I want to start with a newfound sense of consistency in regard to this newness I aim to find. I don't want the NEW year to end up like the old one - which though not bad, has just blown by, and once again I don't feel I managed anywhere near as much as I hoped I would.

I've watched a ton of movies though - and still have reviews in draft to last me half another year. So I definitely managed THAT resolution. To leave at least one review a day for the full duration of the year.

But how does that benefit me in the long run? Why did I think it would?

I imagine I set that as a resolution since I figured it'd allow me to finally get through the surplus of drafts I had lying around at the time. Instead I've just watched more, and I still have drafts lying around.

I am the type of person who doesn't like to leave anything with nothing.
So if I'm running out of reviews: I write ahead. I bunker up. I hunker down. I put on a film or two. Time or no time. But I also enjoy film, and I don't want that like to turn more into a chore, so no more.

I'll still be watching movies, mind you, but not by resolution. I'll watch movies when I want to watch a movie - that's all the commitment a pastime as such should require - even if these reviews do contribute to the wealth of content that now exists on this site, and make me feel at least a little productive in times I am otherwise not...

But I wasn't happy with my progress last year either. I rarely am.

I am happy I don't have a cold this Christmas. I don't have that as an excuse for my recent lack of progress site-wise, but I have had a freelance gig going on since the start of November that's been eating virtually all excess time I have, so this year I have an even better excuse! Win or lose it's: still excuses.

First thing's first, though this life doesn't always go how you choose it, you need to force yourself to stay congruent. Motivate yourself. Keep moving. So once again I'd like to remind myself, that no matter how much time I've left behind, for the future: Don't wait, but don't haste. Don't hesitate. Don't stall, don't fall, don't all. Don't say "yes" if you stress. Don't do if you are not supposed to. But mostly, a 'can't do' won't do: think instead of what you could do. Be good too.

That's what I will, and what you should do.

And so, resolutions! What this post is supposed to be all about:

2023

This year I vowed to...

1. Use my one-month-free gym membership, and start working out regularly henceforth.

It started well, it did! I had sore muscles constantly at the start of the year - I went to the gym and got my membership just a few days in, but then I did catch a cold, and I think I went on a trip somewhere after that, and possibly I started feeling a little depressed after that, and the roads were icy and it was difficult to get to the gym so...

Excuses, excuses.

I went on and off with my exercise most of spring, then came summer, and you know I get good work-out's then, gym or no.

Then came autumn, and I came back late, and jumped off on a design project, and have ultimately... been away from Bro for something like five months total this year. Which means five months away from that gym for which I have that membership. Thus, of course, less gym time.

A bit more walk time when in Östersund, where my bro & co have a dog.

Towards the end of the year I've been working twelve-hour days when I'm in Bro too, and have just not had the energy to get to the gym before I start. It's a time-limited gym thing. Every day up till 2 PM.

I wonder if I'd have worked out more if I could go work out after work too. I'd like to say I would, though I doubt I really would have. I've done some at home, but not enough.

I am in decent shape, and summer was great, but this goal: Nope.

Not frequent at all for summer/winter/fall.

2. Start up a new site, transform or purchase an existing one with the intention of making a profit.

Nope.

Looking back this goal was maybe a bit counter-productive. It'd be better to focus on what I have, and on real work, than to spend additional development time on something I'm not sure I really want to focus on full-time.

I assume I thought about starting up a freelance site with this one.

I started freelancing instead. Without a site. Which seems a better use of time.

So did I manage this goal? No, but I maybe did end up doing something better... should've phrased it differently.

3. Buy some property, for real.

Nope.

Earlier this year I was keeping an eye on certain properties, but I haven't had time to keep up with that in a while now. It still is a goal, but one that seems further off; not currently a priority.

First: sort life out. Then: upgrade quarters.

4. Post at least one movie review every day for the entire year.

I did manage this! Though to what trade-off on time I could've spent on more useful dues I wonder.

I'm happy I made it - it did take commitment - but I'd rather have spent that commitment on different things all things considered.

Hey you know what...? Never mind. I wouldn't have. I am happy with this one.

5. Update PHP version on site without loss of functionality.

I'm... not sure.

Either I upgraded a little last year, or early this year... but either way I haven't upgraded enough.

Certain software updates won't go through until this is done, but certain website functionality will fail if I don't fix up the site first.

6. Build a new theme.

Nope.

I did write that this was maybe the least important resolution on the list at least... it seems an all the more unnecessary priority right now.

Better fix up functionality first, then think about changing up the design.

7. Finish the Reduce theme song.

I did manage this one! :) Happy how it turned out too. Go listen here.

8. Put out a mixtape or album either with @killreal or @killerRAT.

No time. Or... bad priorities. Badly spent time... some combo thereof.

Regardless of the why it was, I did not manage this. Looking back I do also wonder where I could have. How be more efficient. How be more energetic. How focus better...

9. Get another properly mixed/mastered mixtape done for last year's Inktober material.

I thought this would be an easy one - alas no time for this either!

It's crazy (or fascinating - if you're an optimist) how busy you think you are till you get more busy. And how crazy busy you feel you are then until you get MORE busy. And how it seems that no matter how busy you get there's still potential for you to get EVEN BUSIER!

Next year though. I'm a handle my busyness.

10. Cold showers every day.

Barely any cold showers at all.

This routine died somehow, though I'm not sure I'm worse off for it.

Ultimately I may have been less sick this year than I was the previous, and to a certain extent I feel like the lack of cold showers probably helped me.

They do generally boost your immune system, sure, but they also seem to lower it sometimes. Or stress it. Sometimes they work great, and sometimes it feels like they're just... a bit overboard. Not beneficial.

Maybe there are certain prerequisites of a healthy lifestyle that you need to tend to first for these cold showers to have an optimal effect. Previously, when I was tired, and worn out, and took a cold shower anyway... sometimes I felt great.

And sometimes I caught a cold instead.

I feel like currently warm baths suit me better. And that occasional walks in the snow with just shorts and a shirt feel better than those cold showers ever did.

Maybe my timing was just wrong. Maybe cold showers after exercise would be a different kind of benefit compared to cold showers straight out of bed... maybe those require more of you, and sometimes that 'more' is just too much.

I'll get back to these eventually. Shall experiment.

11. Write something every day.

Yes! I think. Very probably.

I write a lot.

12. Get healthy.

Hmm.... kinda?

Okay no.

Total: 3/12

I had so good motivations for some of these resolutions when I set them.

Feel kinda bad for dismissing some of them so easily now - as if I'm not living up to the resolve I initially had for them, but times do change, and I change too...

Maybe I'm entering a new phase.

Maybe I'm evolving! *mysterious sounds and noises*

2024

I'll be doing this a bit differently this year.

I know I like to say that every year, but I mean it! If old tactics don't work then why stick with them? Why not try something new and find what works for you.

So for 2024, as happenstance has it...

I was given one of these for Christmas. A 達磨.

There's an interesting history and tradition behind these, that you can head over to Wikipedia and read about if you like.

They're basically little papier-mâché-based reminders of commitment, that help you will your dreams into existence.

You may notice above that the eyes are blank.

At the dawn of a New Year you draw one of it's eyes, as you mentally commit to a goal for that year, and the Daruma will hold you accountable.
Or rather it will remind you to hold yourself accountable.

When you accomplish said goal, you draw in the missing eye, and after the year is over you burn the doll, bask in a sensation of profound joy and fulfillment, and get a new one.

Actually you should've gotten a new one already at that point. It doesn't seem like you burn the old Daruma before you get a new one. There's a ceremony for that at the start of the year, too. They're seperate.

If you don't manage to fulfill your promise to the Daruma what then?

Will it maybe haunt you forever?

I haven't read that far, and I don't plan to, I hope I won't have to hold myself accountable to failure, since I'll have this symbol of commitment sitting in a visible location on a shelf in my room all of next year!

I also hope that seeing it every day won't stress me out too much, but rather enforce my sense of purpose, and motivate me to treat each day like a new opportunity. Because there really is so much potential.

So what's this one commitment of mine this time?

I'm just telling my Daruma.

I'll let you know at the end of the year how my resolve held up.

You'll probably notice if it did. ;)

Let's go.

Leftovers

Oh.

I do have a few (mostly old) subsidiary tasks/goals/resolutions I intend and hope to get to this year too, might as well jot 'em down here for continuity, and on-site accountability too:

1. Update website infrastructure.
This is one I just have to get to eventually, the sooner the better.

2. Get a mixtape done with 2021's Inktober material.
It's overdue. A 2022 and a 2023 one too if possible.

3. Put out a mixtape or album either with @killreal or @killerRAT.
If I manage the Inktober stuff this is right after.

4. Review all Top 5 P-Bot post picks on NG 2024.
This doesn't need to be on a daily basis, but by the end of the year it'd be cool to have commented on all of them. I used to. Been missing this.

5. Partake in at least one interview or podcast.
I really don't like public-speaking. So I really need to do it more.

6. Write something every day.
Hopefully there'll always be some leftover gratification here. :)

What else?

The ongoing gym membership... I wonder if I ought renew it or no. May be better to save that money for better things. I do aim to work out - will use the remainder of it to test my discipline, and see if it's best spent there or on alternative means of exercise.

Business, property and cellphone subscription plans... rain check. I feel like I need to spend my spare time elsewhere for starters. Like on music. These will all be relevant again. The free cellphone subscription dream's ongoing and slowly but surely progressing too...

In regard to business there is a client potentially in line after the current one - will be interesting to see if new opportunities follow this year, or if I need to seek alternative opportunities and jobs, or start marketing...

I've learned a bundle of techniques with the ongoing design gig that I'd like to try on this site, so maybe the theme will evolve a bit this year too. I hope to go through some of my learning in posts. More code for the blog.

I'm down to around 100 review drafts currently btw, so there's a little less to go through now than there was last year! But time... flies all too fast.

Let's make the most of it y'all. Lest we stall and totes appall.

And let's not forget to also have a blast.

Cheers, to New Years! New opportunities. New fears. New dreams. Who dares... take the reins.

Lest you stay there in your stains and chains and shame.

Go change.