While attending a practice round for the 2018 Masters, I followed Patrick Reed for several holes. He was cordial and much appreciated by the spectators. On the 18th hole, he split the fairway with a long drive. Then, for pure entertainment purposes, he got down on his knees and pounded another long drive. The crowd loved it. And they loved it even more when Reed put on a gutsy display during the final round on Sunday, sinking crucial putts and holding off charges by Fowler and Spieth, for the right to wear the green jacket as the 2018 Masters Champion.

Unfortunately, all that goodwill was destroyed five months later by Reed’s embarrassing behavior during the defeat of the US team at the 2018 Ryder Cup in France. He had been nicknamed “Captain America” for his outstanding performance in prior international events. However, this year, due to his incessant whining about teammates and ranting about decisions made by Captain Jim Furyk, he swiftly transformed himself from “Captain America” into “SpongeBob SquarePants“.

Embed from Getty Images

With his public persona doubled over like a dented can of corn, Reed fell into a sixteen month winless drought, which finally ended this past weekend with his victory at The Northern Trust.

The Northern Trust is the first leg of the Fedex Cup Playoffs. It was played at Liberty National Golf Course in New Jersey alongside the New York Harbor with the Statue of Liberty and the New York City skyline looming in the background. It was here that the top 125 players in the FedEx Cup standings competed to win more points with the hope of advancing to the next round.

The point system can be a little confusing. Throughout the season, players earn points each week based on their performance. The number of points awarded is determined by a complex calculation in which you take the size of the tournament purse, add in a player’s ranking, and multiply by Phil Mickelson’s inseam measurement. By the end of the year, the player with the most points wins over $15,000,000 in prize money or the state of Rhode Island, whichever he chooses.

As usual, Tiger Woods garnered most of the attention during the first day of the tournament, when he withdrew due to a torn oblique muscle. The oblique muscle is one of the outermost abdominal muscles, extending from the lower half of the ribs around and down to the pelvis. Most amateur golfers do not incur this injury, because in order to pull a muscle you have to have one. Tiger’s injury dates back to his days of reckless philandering. It is typically caused by having one too many cocktail waitresses in a 24 hour period.

Embed from Getty Images

Webb Simpson was only one stroke off the lead at the start of the second round when he discovered a crack in the head of his driver. To his amazement, officials would not allow him to replace it with his back-up driver. Apparently, under USGA rule 6-9, a player may only replace a cracked club with a plastic whiffle ball bat or a large loaf of French bread. Simpson was forced to stick with the cracked driver and shot a 73, eight strokes higher than his first round score.

Jordan Spieth finished the first two rounds in second place at 11 under par but crashed and burned with a 74 on Saturday. Golf is a better game when Spieth is in the hunt, but his ups and downs are gut wrenching. Every time you think he is making a comeback and staging a rally, he hits a drive into the Hudson River or a nearby landfill. He is still sinking 40 foot putts, but these days they are only for par.

The big story of the week which overshadowed the actual tournament was “slow play”. Just as Reed became the lightning rod for the Ryder Cup failure, Bryson DeChambeau became the poster boy for slow play.

Embed from Getty Images

DeChambeau has been called an innovator for his scientific approach to the game of golf. But this weekend, he was called “a single minded twit” by English pro Eddie Pepperell for his ponderous and torturous pace of play. And no one disagreed.

His most annoying moment occurred on the 8th green on Friday. After an excellent approach shot, he had an 8-foot putt for birdie. While his playing partners and spectators anxiously watched, he consulted his green reading book, had several side bars with his caddie, walked off the putt, did a slide rule calculation, took a soil sample, checked his phone messages, gauged the wind, then proceeded to stroke the ball two feet past the hole. All total, DeChambeau took more than two minutes to miss an eight foot putt.

Meanwhile, back in Kansas City at the US Gymnastics Championship, Simone Biles completed her entire medal winning balance beam routine in 1 minute and 26 seconds, which included a dangerous first ever, double-twisting, double somersault dismount. And somewhere in Brooklynn, a heavily overbooked Rabbi Sugarman performed the first in series of circumcisions in a record setting 1 minute and 48 seconds. Both took less time than it took DeChambeau to roll a golf ball eight feet.

The PGA does not seem to have the will or the way to eliminate slow play. However, one no nonsense sports fan tweeted the following potential solution:

“If it takes you this long to line up a putt, then blow it two feet by the hole, the penalty should be that both playing partners get to repeatedly punch you in the face.”

This may not be a workable solution, but something needs to be done. Right now, the biggest logistical problem with slow play is waking up the elderly spectators before the next pairing arrives.

Reed was not distracted by this nonsense as he clawed and fought his way through the final round. He started with a one stroke lead but lost it to Jon Rahm after carding three bogies in the first six holes. However, he then displayed the talent and tenacity he has exhibited throughout his career and retook the lead with four holes to play. Battling down the stretch, he held off Rahm, Varner, sneaky Snedeker, and the handsome and gallant Mexican, Abraham Ancer, to claim the victory and bring his losing streak to an end.

Embed from Getty Images

During the awards ceremony, Reed proudly accepted the Tiffany trophy, graciously thanked his supporters, and patiently posed for the photographers. And in the background beyond the flashing lights of the cameras, you could see the Statue of Liberty standing tall, the majestic New York skyline, and Abraham Ancer outrunning several ICE agents down the 18th fairway.

With this victory, Reed won a purse of $1,665,000 and accumulated another 2000 FedEx Cup points, which are redeemable at any Bed Bath & Beyond. But, most important of all, he won back the appreciation of the fans and the respect he rightfully deserves.

Cover Image Via Instagram