Toaster kid sat on a park bench one cloudy summers day
and waits for one to sit,
he talks and talks until there all quizzed out,
and then they get up and go after a bit.

on this particular day he meets a lady,
and one she calls her son,
he started to natter to the mother,
and then off the boy ran.

"whats it like being a mother,
what do you have to do?
is there rules and regulations which if not done,
your son could surley sue?"

"oh no" said the mother,
"It's very simple you see,
just follow my tips and guidlines
and soon a mother you could be"

"when haveing dinner at the table,
he has to wash his hands,
and have educational conversations
about summer holiday plans.

You have to have a nice phone voice,
one you really thinks nice,
the toilet has to be the loo,
the house has to be the hice.

Before you've finished eating,
whisk away everone's plate,
then get your baby photos out,
the cute one you highly rate.

So you now know how to be a mother,
with great knoledge in your hand,
though there are some other issues,
that one may find hard to understand."

"thankyou" said toasterkid
"thank you very much"
"although I must say that I can
never be a mother of such

You see I've learnt in Biology,
that a mother has to be a woman,
and then after passing that,
a man you must somen

It seems I'm a boy
And men aren't my cup of tea,
so because of that you may find,
being a mother wouldn't suit me."

The pair said there fairwells,
bonjours, tchus, chou
and so he's still wondering what to be,
he's sitting there right now.

By Joshua Martin
Thanks go to Lindsay Macrae