Who’s Sarah Palin? Who is Sarah Palin? I tell ya who she is, gals - she’s a frickin superstar, that’s who she is!!! It brought a tear to my eye listenin’ to her speech yesterday. I gotta tell ya I’m prouder than a native American with a mortgage-free wigwam now we’ve got a real woman up there flyin’ the flag for thegreatestnationonearth!!
Look at what she's saying. Stop the illegals comin’ in to steal our jobs? Check. Stop them filthy liberals encouraging women to murder their unborn children? Check. Support the right of every American citizen to bear arms and shoot each other dead? Check. Protect our right to invade any bunch of towelheads threatenin’ our security, including the ones who ain’t done it yet but might be thinkin about it? Check. Take the kids to hockey once a week? Double check.
Sure, I know it ain’t all roses. There’s the awkward question of her little girl and the unwanted baby. I tell ya, if my Beth came back with a guilty-lookin’ guy and a bump in her stomach I’d be packin’ her off to the nearest clinic, pro-life or no pro-life. I mean, it’s all very well stopping them poor black people killin their toddlers but I ain’t gonna be mother to my grandkid just cos my Beth’s too darn stupid to take the necessary precautions in the downstairs department.
But we’ve all got our little crosses to bear and I tell ya, overall John Mccain sure as heck took the wind out of Osabama’s sails with that appointment. Sheer genius. There we were thinkin’ he was gonna pick some fundamentallist meathead to stop the Christian Right moanin' and instead he picks a chick half of America wants to jump into bed with – an I ain’t just talkin’ ‘bout the guys!!!!
Now all we gotta do is hope Cindy McCain remembers to mix in the beta blockers with the old man’s frosted flakes each morning and keep his ticker going through November 4th. I don’t wanna speak ill of the dead before they die, but if Johnny McCain runs out of steam early in the new year and takes his final trip to that big prisoner of war camp in the sky, I reckon we’ve gotten ourselves the perfect President waitin’ in the wings. A right-thinkin’ Republican. A woman. And a moose hunter! It don’t get no better than that gals, I can I tell ya!!
