With some teams Training camps open and all others to be in full swing by the weekend the Football news is heating up... finally.

Today the Shitbirds invaded my peaceful country town to spread their filth for the next few weeks. But as I always say, "It's July and the Ravens will be in the Super Bowl!" Every July and August the locals spew their football ignorance in barrooms, on the radio, and at the watercooler about the greatness of the Shitbirds. Then in December and sometimes earlier reality sets in and they whine and cry like bitches. I have grown used to it and know what to expect. They however, do not seem to.

So let's get down to the Good, the Bad, and the Fat & Ugly.

The Good: Jack Tatum died at age 61 today. I, for one, am glad he is dead. The world is a better place today because that piece of shit is no longer with us. You will recall that Jack "The Assassin" Tatum played many years for the Oakland Raiders. He is responsible for the paralyzation of Darryl Stingley during a preseason game back in the 70s. He also is the lying son of a bitch who said the ball never hit his shoulder pads as he decked Frenchy Fuqua during the Immaculate Reception. And he is also the instigator in the attempts to maim both Lynn Swann and John Stallworth at every opportunity within and outside the rules. I hated all the Raiders but I have a special venom for Tatum.

The Bad: Well, bad for whom is, I suppose, the question. Terrell Owens signed with the Bengals today. The Freak Show that will be OchoStinko and T.O. is going to be funny to watch. I got tickets to the 12/12/10 Bengals game @ Heinz. Gonna be like a football game and the circus all rolled into one. But seriously, word I got says T.O. signed an incentive laden contract. That can mean only one thing. T.O. will demand the ball on every down. I can see it now, Carson Cornholer in the middle with T.O. yelling in one ear and OchoStinko screaming in the other. And Marvin Lewis pretending like it's all OK. T.O. could make it bad for our secondary but chances are better that his team cancer attitude will be bad for the Bengals. But hell, after Chris Henry jumped to his death off a speeding truck, who was left in Cincitucky to fuck things up? Welcome to the AFC North, T.O.

The Fat & Ugly: Today in Westminster, MD, Terrance "Mount" Cody, 2nd round draft pick of the Baltimore Shitbirds and former DT at Alabama failed the physical test at Shitbird training camp. Who didn't see this coming besides Mel Kiper's butt-buddy, Ozzie Newsome? That fat bastard couldn't stay on the field for more than 2 downs in a row at Alabama, there is no way his fat ass will last long in the NFL. Coach Harbaugh said Cody will remain on the Physically Unable to Perform (PUP) list until he can pass the minimum physical requirements. Shit, the snow will be flying in Westminster by then! Just look at that fat piece of lard. He makes Refigerator Perry look like Manute Bol. I bet your wives and girlfriends don't have tits that big either! And of course this is old news now, but the Shitbirds other 2nd round pick, LB Sergio Kindle, fell down 2 flights of stairs at 2AM cracking his skull and giving him a concussion. He'll miss all of training camp for sure. Was he sleepwalking or just drunk? I know which I'll put my money on.