I just found out that I am a sapiosexual! This means I am only able to become attracted to people who are intelligent. I always knew I was different, starting in high school when I became obsessed with our class valedictorian, a nerd with big ears. Now I understand why. Since I'm married and in the middle of my 70s this information is of little use anymore, but it's great to finally have a name for what I am. 

I learned this in an article online about demisexuals. These are people who can only become attracted to someone after forming an emotional bond with them. (They used to be called "nice girls.") At first I thought I might be one of those, but then I remembered that one-night stand with a construction worker and realized it couldn't be. 

Actually, for most of my life I've considered myself an ordinary heterosexual, but with so many new varieties, I figured I'd do some research. (I'd hate to get this wrong in case someone asks.) Turns out I may be a little bit of both, making me a demi-demisexual quasi-sapiosexual.

I wonder if there's a Pride Day for that.