2 May 2018
We ran into a lot of problems while researching about 99 problems, but that ain’t one. Hence, without further ado, here are the top 9 ways you can have 99 problems.
- Play soccer in your alley and break a window of a disreputable neighbor’s home (the neighbor should be disreputable and not the home). You will have 99 problems and then a few more as a bonus.
- You might often receive mails stating that you have won a Million Dollars. Reply to those using your original bank details even if and especially if, they forget to ask for it.
- Sell all your belongings. Using that money, buy newer belongings. Then sell them and buy again new things. Since you are buying new and selling secondhand items everytime, your sell price will be consistently less than cost price. Very soon all 99 of them will appear. By them, we mean the problems.
- Spread obnoxious rumors about yourself.
- Switch back to Windows 95 for gaming, old Nokia 3310 for blogging and a pinhole camera for Instagram.
- Add 100 to your age in the Resume. You can also subtract 100 and type some negatives.
- Start a conversation with, “You know nothing. I know everything. Now let me explain it to you.”
- Plan your winter vacation in Antarctica and Summer vacation in Sahara.
- Explain to people that humans have evolved from apes, referring to their looks and behavior as a clear indicator of that fact.
