Francis, the cat, is laid down on the kitchen floor.

He´s belly up, staring the ceiling, bored out of his mind.

He sys, annoyed, and then turns to the side and albeit a bit wobbly, he manages to get up.

Cat: Up we go.

He manages a step and then another until he comes face to face with the Pen.

Cat (cont.): oh hi.

The Pen is unresponsive and just ogles the cat in fear.

Pen: this is it, isn´t it?
Cat: what is?

Pen: you´ve come to collect…
Cat (confused): collect what? Have you been loaded up with dish detergent again, or something?

Pen (ignores the comment): I… (sys), I believe I´m ready.
Cat: ready for what?
Pen: to pay for my sins.

Cat: and that´s my problem because…?
Pen: I did you wrong. I mocked you relentlessly and now it´s only fair I pay my dues.

Francis looks to the sides, confused.

He´s about to say something back to the Pen but she beats him to it.

Pen (cont.): I know I wasn´t the friendliest of Pens but, I kind of hoped that, in your last hour, you had forgiven me.
Cat: forgiven you?
Pen: yes. For all the evil things I did to you.

Cat: right…
Pen: calling you fat, and ugly, pointless…
Cat (interrupts): … yeah, yeah…
Pen: useless, effeminate…
Cat: I get it! Shut up!

Pen: Just please, I don´t want to suffer…
Cat: suffer what? What in the hell are you blabbing about?
Pen: You dammed soul came back to take revenge upon me, hasn´t it?
Cat: I think you´ve got our parts crossed.

Pen: I have?
Cat: yeah see, YOU´RE the DAMMED soul, while I am the nice kitty.
Pen (auto-response): You´re a drunken ball of fur, that´s what you are.

Cat (offended): HEY!
Pen: oh I´m sorry. Were.
Cat: were what?

Pen: a drunken ball of fur.
Cat: oh, you noticed.
Pen: Noticed what?
Cat: I´ve lost a few pounds.

Pen: I guess death will do that to you.
Cat (scared): death? Who´s death?
Pen: Yours silly.
Cat: I´m not dead!

Pen: You´re not?
Cat: NO! Why the hell would you think I´m dead?
Pen: I haven´t seen you in over a month.
Cat: oh yeah, that.

Pen (getting angry): THAT? Where the hell were for the last month?
Cat: why do you care?
Pen (perplexed): why do I…?

The Pen is left speechless and Francis ogles “it” innocently.

Pen (cont.): YOU!
Cat (puzzled): what did I do?
Pen: I thought you were dead!
Cat: and the fact that you´re an idiot is my problem because?

Pen (shocked): An idiot? YOU´RE calling ME an idiot?
Cat: yes.
Pen: You have some nerve, you… you…
Cat (blows it a kiss): love you too stinky stick!

Pen: I hate you!
Cat: yeah, I think what you really mean to say is you love me.
Pen: No I don´t!
Cat: yeah, you do. Don´t worry it´s not your fault.
Pen (perplexed): not my fault…?
Cat: No, I´m awesome!
Pen: I hate you!

Francis doesn´t respond, just blows “it” another kiss.

The Pen is at a loss for words and just turns around and glides away, fiercely.

Cat (breaks out laughing): wow! Ha! Now that was fun!

He peeks to the side to make sure the Pen is gone.

Cat (checks himself): I do look good! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Francis walks away, towards the kitchen, dancing and shaking his butt from one side to the other.

Cat (singing): I look good, Oh yes I do! Woo… Ha! Ha! Ha!

The end!

2019_ Joana Teixeira