Raul, the rat, and Rafael, the bird are in the garden just outside Francis´s house.
They are arguing with one another.
Rafael: I´ve told you countless times, one day, sooner or later, he is going to try and eat us!
Raul: you´re exhausting, did you know that? Like a broken record.
Rafael: Yeah well, when that day comes…
Raul (interrupts): you´ll be there, smiling from ear to ear, yelling: “I told you so!” aren´t you?
Rafael: Oh you can bet I will.
Raul: you´re unbelievable.
Rafael: Oh please! I´m awesome!
Raul: Now you´re starting to sound…
Raul stops talking when he notices the crazy look in Rafael´s eyes.
Raul (cont.): what?
Rafael (whispering): behind you…
Raul turns around to find Chance, the chicken right behind him.
Raul sys, relived.
He then gives a wondering look to Rafael, who looks oddly frightened.
Raul (to Rafael): what´s the matter with you?
Rafael (scared): it´s a chicken…
Raul shakes his head in disbelief and looks back at the chicken in front of them.
Raul: Hello.
Rafael (pulls Raul to the side): Are you crazy? Didn´t your mother ever teach you not to talk to strangers?
Raul: you´re seriously damaged, did you know that?
Rafael (confused): what?
Chance (a.k.a. Chicken): Hello.
Raul (releases himself from Rafael´s grip): Hi.
Chance: hi.
Rafael: who are you?
Chance: I´m chicken.
Rafael: yes, you´re a chicken. What´s your name?
Chance: Chicken.
Rafael (to Raul): he has a loose screw. Can we go now?
Raul: Shut up.
Rafael (offended): what did you just say?
Raul (ignores Rafael): Chicken? Is that your name?
Rafael (mocking): yes, it’s his name. Like a psychopath.
Raul: Rafael, seriously? Did you forget to take your morning pills or something?
Rafael (confused): what morning pills?
Raul opens his mouth to answer him but gives up and shakes his head.
Raul (back to the chicken): Mr. Chicken, do you live around here?
Chance: I don´t know.
Rafael: You don´t know?
Chance: no. I started to walk and then I ended up in that backyard over there (points to Francis´s house), and then I talked to a bear and…
Rafael (interrupts/confused): you talked to a bear?
Chance: yes.
Rafael: You found a bear in Francis´s backyard?
Chance: yes, Francis.
Raul: You met Francis?
Chance: yes. He was nice.
Raul: He is nice.
Rafael: wait! Hold up! There was a bear in Francis´s backyard?
Chance: yes.
Rafael: what bear? Whose bear?
Chance: Francis.
Raul: Francis has a bear?
Rafael: considering how crazy he is, I´m not exactly surprised.
Chance: No.
Rafael: No what?
Chance: He doesn´t have a bear.
Raul: but you just said you found a bear in Francis´s backyard.
Chance: Francis is the bear. Don´t you know him?
Both Rafael and Raul are left speechless starring at the chicken in front of them.
They both blink in confusion several times and stare at one another.
Chance looks more confused than they do.
All of a sudden Rafael breaks out laughing, hysterically.
Rafael (unable to contain his laughter/loud): Ha! Ha! Ha! Francis, the bear.
Chance (corrects him): polar bear.
Raul is divided between his need to join Rafael in his laughing fest and his heartfelt obligation to stand up for his feline friend.
Raul (trying to contain his laughter): Mr. Chicken…
Chance (interrupts): My name is Chance.
Rafael: but you just said…
Raul (stops him from talking): Rafael…
Rafael (confused): what?
Raul (shakes his head and turns back to Chance): So Chance, you met Francis…
Rafael (bursting with laughter): the bear!
Raul: seriously? Shut up!
Rafael: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Raul just shakes his head in disbelief.
Chance (to Raul): is there something wrong with him?
Raul (looks at Rafael who has fallen to the floor, laughing hysterically): oh you have no idea.
Rafael (barely able to speak): Francis, the polar bear! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Chance: is he going to be okay?
Raul: I honestly can´t tell anymore. But anyways, you met Francis…
Rafael (buts in): … the polar bear!
Raul (losing his patience): Shut up!
Rafael: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Raul (sys): I give up.
Chance: are you okay?
Raul: Chance, chicken, whatever your name is, Francis… (looks fiercely at Rafael who remains silent), is a nice guy.
Chance: oh I know that.
Raul: you do?
Chance: yes. I met him and I talked to him. He told me he wasn´t going to eat me and I believed him.
Raul: so you met him once and he told you he wasn´t going to eat you and you believed him?
Chance: yes.
Raul (turns to Rafael): see?
Rafael (confused/gets up): see what?
Raul: he met Francis once, and he believed him when he told him he wasn´t going to eat him. You´ve know Francis for God knows how long know and you still believe he wants to eat you.
Rafael: I don´t trust him.
Chance: don´t worry about it, really.
Rafael: oh yeah? And why is that?
Chance: you´re fine as long as he can´t cook you.
Rafael: say what now?
Chance: yes, he told me he wouldn´t eat me, because he had no way of cooking me.
Rafael turns to Raul starring at the two, speechless.
Rafael: so, you´re saying that, if he had some way of cooking you, he´d eat you?
Chance: I guess…
Rafael (turns to Raul): still think he´ll never eat us?
Raul (not certain): he´s Francis…
Chance: oh, now I remember!
Raul: remember what?
Chance: That house over there.
Rafael: Is that where you live?
Chance: yes, it is. I should go now. Bye.
Rafael: bye.
Raul: Goodbye.
Chance, the chicken, runs off home.
Raul and Rafael sit still in Jason´s backyard looking at one another, pensive.
They´re too afraid to voice their fears out loud.
Rafael: do you think…?
Raul: no… I don´t think so, I mean, it´s Francis. He´s our friend, right?
Rafael: Yeah, I mean, he´s always been a bit weird and all.
Raul: yeah, but he always shares his food and drinks with us.
Rafael: yeah, that´s true…
Raul: you´re always nagging that someday…
Rafael: that´s because I like to nag. It´s Francis…
Raul: It´s getting dark. I need to get home.
Rafael: yeah, me two.
Raul: bye.
Rafael: bye.
Raul, the rat and Rafael, the bird, return to their homes, still going over what Chance told them about Francis.
Inside the house, Francis, the cat, is deeply asleep, snoring like a bulldozer, completely unaware of what just happened outside his home.
The end!
2019_ Joana Teixeira
