Francis, the cat, wakes up from his midmorning nap and looks at the window.

As the sun shines brightly through it, he decides he wants to go for a stroll.

He gets up, stretches his arms forward and a few crackling noises can be heard from his bones getting into place.

Cat (complaining): ouch…

Outside.

Francis comes out from his house into the backyard and trips over his own paws.

Cat (tumbling): oh boy…

He manages to stay up (just barely) as he comes face to face with a Chicken.

Cat (surprised): what the…?
Chicken (unfazed): oh hello.
Cat: Hello?
Chicken: yes, Hello.

Cat: who? What the…?
Chicken: Hello.
Cat: Hel… you said that already.
Chicken: have I?

Cat: yes.
Chicken: okay then.
Cat: okay.

Francis turns to leave but doubles back.

Cat (cont.): No, wait!
Chicken: for what?
Cat (confused): what?
Chicken: you told me to wait.

Cat: wait for what?
Chicken: I don´t know. You were the one who said: “wait!”
Cat: who are you?
Chicken: I´m chicken.

Cat: I can tell that you´re a chicken.
Chicken: Then why did you ask?
Cat: I asked you who you were, not what.
Chicken: what what?

Cat: Could you please stop repeating everything I say?
Chicken: I didn´t.
Cat: yes, you did.
Chicken: did I now?

Francis sys, annoyed.

Chicken: something wrong?
Cat: are you related to that hellish pen by any chance?
Chicken (opens eyes wide): that´s it!
Cat (startled): that´s it what?

Chicken: That´s my name.
Cat (confused):  your name?
Chicken: yes.
Cat: what is it?

Chicken: Chance.
Cat: your name is chance?
Chicken: yes.
Cat: okay. Good to know.

Chicken: thank you. Who are you?
Cat: I´m  Francis.
Chicken: Nice to meet you.
Cat: nice to meet you two.

Chicken: Thank you. Can I ask you a question?
Cat: sure.
Chicken: are you going to eat me?
Cat (dumbstruck): Am I…?

Chicken (finishes): going to eat me?
Cat: no.
Chicken: are you sure?
Cat: I’m sure.

Chicken (gets angry): well, why the hell not, huh? Do you think I´m not yummy enough?
Cat (startled/blinks really fast): what the…?
Chicken: don´t tell me you´re one of those new age cats that only eats vegetarian chickens!
Cat: I ah…

Francis sits down and starts scratching his head, confused.

Chicken (switches again): so have you lived here long?

Francis looks at the chicken, unaware of what to say.
He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

Chicken (cont.): this is nice here. So have you?
Cat: have I what?
Chicken: lived here long?

Cat: I guess…
Chicken: You guess or you know?
Cat: Know what?
Chicken: how long have you lived here?

Cat: all my life.
Chicken: that´s long right? I mean you´re what? 40?
Cat (nearly faints): 40? Are you crazy?
Chicken (tries): 50?

Cat: are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Chicken (innocent): what? of course not.
Cat: 40? 50?
Chicken (smiling): you don´t look a day over 20. (winks)

Francis is left speechless staring at the crazy chicken in front of him.

Chance, a.k.a. Chicken, tilts his head to the side waiting for Francis to say something else.

Cat: How…?
Chicken (interrupts): what?
Cat (looks at the chicken angry for being interrupted): stop doing that!
Chicken (innocent): doing what?

Cat (ignores the question): how did you get here?
Chicken: here where?
Cat: here in my backyard.
Chicken: I don´t know.

Cat: You don´t know?
Chicken: no.
Cat: did you fly here?
Chicken: No.

Cat (losing his patience): then how the freck did you get here?
Chicken: you seriously need to chill.
Cat: you´re bipolar aren´t you?
Chicken: I hate the cold.

Cat: cold?
Chicken: yes.
Cat: what cold? What are you talking about?
Chicken: you asked me if I was from the pole.

Cat:  I asked you if you were bipolar!
Chicken: and I answered you.
Cat: no, you didn´t.

Chicken: yes, I did. I said I hate the cold.
Cat: what does bipolar have to do with the cold?
Chicken: I´m from the south.

Cat (exasperated/screams): AGH!
Chicken: are you okay?
Cat: No.

Francis gets up and turns his back to the chicken.

Chicken: you´re leaving already?
Cat (takes in a deep breath): I´m going back inside and I´m going back to sleep.
Chicken: But it´s the middle of the day.

Cat: so what?
Chicken: Don´t you want…?
Cat (interrupts): NO!
Chicken: that was rude.

Cat: yes, well, I´m a very rude cat. Goodbye!
Chicken: Bye.
Cat: oh and you better not be here when I wake up!
Chicken: what if I am?

Cat: what If you´re what?
Chicken: here when you wake up.
Cat: I´ll eat you!
Chicken (breaks out laughing): Ha! Ha! Ha!

Cat (confused): why are you laughing?
Chicken: You´re a cat! How in the world would you cook me?

Francis opens his mouth set on giving a fierce answer but is left speechless.

Chance smiles defiantly.

Cat (annoyed): shut up!

Francis turns his back to Chance and walks away, stomping furiously.

Chicken (waiving): see you later.
Cat: shut up!

Francis gets inside the house leaving Chance, the chicken in his backyard, basking in the sunlight.

Chance: It´s a beautiful day. That bear was nice.

The end!

2019_ Joana Teixeira