Previously on the drunken cat and the possessed pen:
…
Raul: Francis? You okay buddy?
Cat (confused): Francis?
…
Raul: You broke him!
Rafael: I didn´t break him, he was already crazy to begin with.
…
Cat: I´m not a cat.
Raul (stumped): you´re not a cat?
Cat: No.
Rafael: then what are you?
Cat: a ballerina.
…
Now:
Raul just left Francis´s house with Rafael.
He stops near a tree and Rafael, the bird, lands near him.
Rafael: aren´t you going home?
Raul: Aren´t you even a little worried about Francis?
Rafael: why would I be?
Raul: You knocked him…
Rafael (interrupts): WOW! I did no such thing! The light hit my eyes and I crashed.
Raul: and as a result Francis got knocked on the head!
Rafael (innocent): how´s that my fault?
Raul is left speechless.
They start to walk side by side
Rafael (cont.): anyways… he´ll be fine.
Raul: how can you be sure?
As Rafael starts to walk a shadow covers them from behind.
Rafael (he´s too enthralled in his own speech to notice): He´s Francis. He´s…
Rafael notices the shadow and shuts up, fearful.
He starts to sweat and slowly turns to his rodent friend who he finds frozen in fear.
Rafael closes his eyes and starts to turn around, silently praying.
Over them, with a huge grin on his face is Francis, the cat.
Rafael exhales in relief.
Rafael (angry): what the hell pussycat?
Raul (turns around): Pussycat?
Francis (drooling/looking like a maniac): You two look yummy!
Rafael, the bird, turns white from the shock and falls backwards in fear.
Raul (worried): Rafael? You okay buddy?
Francis gets worried as well and the huge grin he had fades.
Cat: You okay? I´m sorry!
Raul: you killed him.
Cat (panicking): I didn´t mean to!
The two amigos stare at their recently deceased friend.
Suddenly, Rafael opens one eye and peaks at the two hovering from above.
Rafael (can´t see much): is he gone?
Cat: who´s gone?
Rafael (fearful): you!
Cat: I´m right here, talking to you!
Raul exhales, loudly, in relief.
Raul: haaa… one of these days you two are going to be the death of me…
Cat/Rafael: what did I do?
Raul: you (pointing at Francis), nearly scared us to death! And you (points at Rafael) nearly gave me a heart attack just now!
Rafael (gets up): I had a heart attack! I just happen to have twenty fives lives and that just took at least ten of those lives.
Cat (confused): twenty five lives? What the heck are you talking about?
Raul: yeah, I´m confused on that two. What is that about?
Rafael: I´m a special bird.
Cat (mumbling): You´re special alright.
Rafael: shut up. I once asked my mom what this bracelet on my leg meant and she said it meant I had been born with twenty five lives.
Cat (dumbstruck): and you believed her?
Rafael: of course I believed her. She´s my mommy.
Cat: you´re an idiot.
Rafael: You´re the idiot.
Raul: You two (points at them), are crazy!
Rafael is about to interrupt.
Raul (cont./puts his hand up to stop him): No! You, shut up!
Rafael closes his mouth and pouts.
Francis was about to talk as well but after Raul telling Rafael off he decides to remain silent.
Raul (cont.): This ridiculous friendship we have is driving me nuts…
Rafael is about to interrupt again but changes his minds when Raul looks at him fiercely.
Raul: you, Rafael, won´t shut up about Francis wanting to eat us. And you, well, Francis, let’s be honest, you´re not normal.
Cat: you don´t need to be mean…
Raul: don´t get me wrong. I´m not saying it’s a bad thing, you just have to understand that, we never met a cat like you before.
Cat: special?
Rafael (mumbling): crazy…
Raul: Just ignore him.
Rafael: Hey!
Raul: You´re nice.
Cat (smiling): thank you.
Rafael: but also crazy.
Cat: that, coming from you, I´ll take it as a compliment.
Raul: oh it was.
Rafael (confused): No, it wasn´t!
Raul/Cat: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Rafael: idiots!
Raul: welcome to the club.
Rafael (confused): what club? You two maniacs are crazy.
Raul: so are you! Or do you really want me to believe you don´t adore us?
Cat: I think he loves us.
Rafael (dumbstruck): you two knuckleheads are insane. I´m going home.
Cat: Kisses, kisses.
Raul: what?
Cat: oh we´re not mocking him anymore? Sorry! Bye then…
Rafael (mumbling): one of these days…
Cat: what was that?
Rafael: Nothing, bye.
Rafael flies off.
Raul: are you going home?
Cat: not right now, why?
Raul: No reason. Francis?
Cat: yes?
Raul: why do you smell so nice?
Cat: I smell good don´t I?
Raul (embarrassed): yes…
Cat: when Jason came home and saw all that mess, he decided to give me a bath.
Raul: oh…
Cat: yeah.
Raul: so?
Cat: so what?
Raul: I´m hungry.
Cat: and what do you want me to do about it?
Raul: I don´t want to go home.
Cat: why not?
Raul: Rosa, well…
Cat: that time of the month?
Raul: yup!
Cat: come on then, we´ll watch some tv.
Raul: what about Jason?
Cat: After he gave me a bath he got call from work and left.
Raul: and food?
Cat: yes, yes… food. An all you can eat buffet.
Raul: really?
Cat: sure, why not?
Raul: Thank you Francis. You really are nice.
Cat: I know.
Raul: humble too…
Cat: I have no idea what that means but thank you again.
The two head to Francis´s house, with Raul shaking his head and smiling.
The end!
2019_ Joana Teixeira
