Francis, the cat, is sleeping next to the dinner table, near the window.

The window is open and Rafael the bird flies in.

Raul, the rat, enters the house as well, following his flying friend from below.

Rafael is about to land on the table when a light flare from the sun hits his eyes and he loses his balance, crashing out on the table and knocking everything in it.

Rafael (in distress): Oh crap!

A few things fall onto the floor, one of which, a small vase, falls right on Francis´s head.

Cat (complaining/ in pain): Ouch!
Rafael (getting up): oops! Sorry about that pussycat.

Raul jumps onto the floor and rushes near his feline friend.

The vase is “unharmed”, but Francis has a large bump on his head. There´s dirt all over the place.

Raul (concerned): Francis are you okay?

The confused cat remains silent.

Rafael joins them on the floor.

Rafael: Is he okay? What about me? I´m the one who crashed!
Raul: yeah and you knocked a bunch of stuff over, some of which landed on Francis´s head.
Rafael: I said I was sorry!

Francis is ogling them with curiosity.

Raul: Francis? You okay buddy?
Cat (confused): Francis?
Rafael: yes, Francis, it´s your name.
Cat: Nonsense. I have no knowledge of such creature.

Raul looks at Rafael and knocks him in the head.

Poing!

Rafael (in pain/bitching): ouch! What did you do that for?
Raul: You broke him!
Rafael: I didn´t break him, he was already crazy to begin with.

Raul: Francis? Are you okay?
Cat: I´ve told you I have no idea who this Francis you speak off is.
Rafael: oh yeah? Then who are you?

Cat: I, lower creature, am…
Rafael (pissed off): Lower? Who´re you calling lower…?

Rafael wants to lunge at Francis but Raul holds him back.

Raul: Rafael just wait.
Rafael: wait? He called me…
Raul (interrupts): Just wait. I think there´s something wrong with him.

Rafael: Are you nuts? Of course there´s something wrong with him. There has always been something wrong with him. He´s crazy!

Cat: May I answer your question or do you wish to continue your childish fit?
Rafael (seriously angry): I´m going to kill this cat!
Raul (holding him back from attacking Francis): Just wait! (to Francis): Please continue…

Cat (eyes them both suspiciously but resumes his speech): My name is Sir Von… something or other…

Raul: something or other?
Cat: it´s too complicated for me to pronounce.
Rafael: you can´t pronounce your own name?

Cat: of course I can, just not at this particular moment.
Rafael: okay, then when can you “pronounce it”?

Cat (loses his temper): how the hell should I know? Stop asking me all of these questions!
Raul: Francis?

The injured cat doesn´t answer just looks at his friends confused.

Raul (cont.): Okay… You, my furry friend, got knocked on the head.
Cat: did I now?
Raul: yes.
Cat: I have no recollection of such an event.

Rafael: that´s because you got knocked on the head!
Raul: will you shut up?
Rafael: what did I do?
Raul: do you really want me to answer that?

Rafael pipes down and looks to the sides embarrassed.

Raul: Mister cat…
Cat: I´m not a cat.
Raul (stumped): you´re not a cat?
Cat: No.

Rafael: then what are you?
Cat: a ballerina.

Rafael throws his wings into the air in despair and walks off.

Rafael: that´s it! I´m leaving. He´s crazy.
Raul: Rafael we can´t leave.
Rafael: why the heck not?

Raul: Rafael, he has no memory of who he is.
Rafael: how´s that my problem?
Raul: You´re the one that knocked him over the head remember?
Rafael (apologetic): I didn´t mean to…

Raul: If you’re not going to help, then please just shut up!
Rafael: but…
Raul: pipe it!
Rafael (pouting): fine.

Raul (to Francis): Francis? (rethinks) Sir Von… anyways… You my friend…
Cat (interrupts): I´m not your friend! I don’t socialize with lower creatures such as yourselves.

Rafael gives Raul the “I told you so!” look.

Raul exhales in despair.

Rafael: I know!
Raul: you know what?
Rafael: we should knock him in the head again.
Raul: are you crazy? Why would you want to that again for?

Rafael: I don´t know. Maybe we can reboot him or something.
Raul: Rafael, he´s a cat, not a computer!
Rafael: you don´t know that…
Raul (shakes his head in disbelief): Shut up!

Rafael pipes down, pouting.

Jason opens the front door.

Rafael: Crap! It´s his human!
Raul: now what are we going to do?
Rafael: I don´t know, but we have to leave. We can´t stay here.

Raul: what about…?
Rafael: his human will take care of him.
Raul (to Francis): sorry buddy. We have to go.

Cat: what?
Rafael: yeah, sorry Francis.

Rafael flies out the window and Raul runs off.

Cat (utterly confused): bye… I guess…

Jason enters the room and sees everything scattered all over the floor.

In the center of such mess, is Francis, the cat, looking innocent.

Jason( angry): what the hell Francis?
Cat: Not you too! My name is…

Jason picks Francis up.

Jason: come here!
Cat (complaining): How dare you?
Jason: stop bitching!

Cat: let go of me!

Jason takes Francis to the bathroom to get a bath.

Cat (yelling from inside the bathroom): I don´t want a bath! I´ll be a good ballerina. Just let me go!

Rafael flies back to the window and Raul joins him.

Raul: do you think we should help him?
Rafael: and just how do suggest we do that?

Francis continues his bitching from inside the bathroom.

Cat: that water is cold! I´m calling my lawyer and I´m suing you!

Raul: we should leave.
Rafael: yeah…
Raul (looks back): good luck buddy…

The two amigos run off.

The end!

2019_ Joana Teixeira