Francis, the cat, wakes up after taking a seriously long nap.

Cat (loud and long yawn): AH…

He tries to stand up but ends up falling back down on his butt.

Cat (cont./complaining): ouch…

He takes in a deep breath and gathers the courage to try and get up once more.

Albeit a bit wobbly, he manages to stay up, but waits a few seconds before trying a step forward.

He breathes in again and closes his eyes as if silently praying not to fall down a second time.

Francis manages one step, and then another.

The sleepy feline opens his eyes and not wanting to fall back down, just keeps walking.

Outside:

Francis comes out of the house and decides to stop in the middle of the yard.

He doesn´t fall down and so he smiles and looks up, bathing in the afternoon sunlight.

Raul (out of nowhere): Francis?
Cat (scared/screaming): Ah!
Raul (startled from Francis´s scream): Ah!

Cat: crap! Raul? Why are you screaming?
Raul: you screamed first.
Cat: what are you? Twelve?

Raul: what?
Cat: Nothing. Forget it.

Rafael flies over and lands near them.

Francis and Raul watch him land but the bird remains silent for a while.

Raul: Raf? You okay?

Raul eyes Francis who in turn looks at Rafael inquisitively.

Raul (tries once more): Raf? What´s the matter?

The bird looks pensive and Raul looks at Francis once more, confused.

Cat: R…?
Rafael (suddenly/interrupts Francis): Francis?
Cat (startled): what?

Rafael (nears Francis): we´re friends, right?
Cat: yes… why?
Rafael: I need a favor.

Cat (confused): okay…
Rafael (dead serious): I need you to eat someone.
Cat (rolls his eyes): are you crazy?

Rafael: no.
Cat: deaf maybe?
Rafael: what?

Cat: I´ve said this countless times, I don´t eat other living creatures.
Rafael: you can cook him first if you want.

Cat (dumbstruck): cook…?
Rafael: yes. I don´t mind if he´s dead when you eat him.
Cat: I´m not eating anyone!
Rafael: please…

Raul: Raf? You okay buddy?
Rafael (angry): butt out Mickey Mouse!

Raul is startled by Rafael´s rude response.

Cat (eyes Rafael dubiously): Rafael, what´s the matter with you?
Rafael (avoids the question): Nothing! Are you going to do what I asked you or not?
Cat: do what?

Rafael: kill Diego.
Cat: kill Diego?
Rafael: yes.
Cat: No!

Rafael: why not?
Raul: who´s Diego?

Rafael looks at Raul menacingly for him to shut up.

Cat: Rafael, who´s Diego?

Rafael sys, annoyed.

Cat (cont): Raf…?
Rafael: he´s… (takes in a deep breath)… he´s my rival.
Cat: he´s your what now?
Rafael: my rival. He wants to steal Luna from me.

Raul starts to smile and looks at Francis, entertained.

Cat (smiling): your rival?
Rafael: yes.

Rafael notices the grin on both of his friends.

Rafael (cont./annoyed): why are you two idiots smiling like that?
Cat: does he stand a chance with Luna?
Rafael: How the hell should I know? He´s all: “mi carinho” and all that Latin crap talk…

Cat (entertained): I seriously wonder…
Rafael: What?
Cat: what is it with you two crazy birds?

Raul has decided to sit down and enjoy the show. He´s highly entertained watching his friends.

Rafael: I beg your pardon?
Cat: Luna came to me a while back wanting me to eat Mimi, or Moo Moo, or whatever her name was…
Rafael (interrupts): Momo?

Cat. Yeah, that!
Rafael: why?
Cat: because she was jealous.
Rafael (happy): she was?

Cat: yes. And I´ll tell you what I told her.
Rafael (suspicious): which was?
Cat: NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Rafael: You suck!
Cat: ditto!

Raul: That´s it! I´m going home. You two nut jobs drive me crazy.
Rafael: Oh please! You were already crazy to begin with.
Raul: what? How so?

Rafael: Raul, you´re friends with a cat!
Raul: so are you!
Rafael: yes, but I never claimed to be sane. Ha!

Cat: he´s got you there.
Raul: Like you´re one to talk.
Cat: what did I do?
Raul: Oh shut it! You´re the craziest of us all.

Cat (excited): I accept!
Rafael: accept what?
Cat: I accept to be your King!

Raul: king of the crazies?
Rafael: It suits him.
Cat: does that mean I´m your king?

Rafael/Raul (bow/together): Your majesty!

The three amigos break out laughing.

Cat/Rat/Bird: HA! HA! HA!

Latter

Rafael: so… you´ll eat him?
Cat: No.
Rafael: why not?
Cat: I can´t eat Mexican food.

Rafael: why not?
Cat: It gives me gases.
Rafael: so? That just means you´ll get to fart him latter.
Cat: you´re seriously demented, did you know that?

Rafael: yes. You´re a terrible influence on me.
Cat: Oh please! I´m awesome.
Raul: I think we can all agree, we´re all a little crazy.
Cat: just a little?

Cat/Rat/Bird: HA! HA! HA!

Rafael: I… (rethinks)… am going to go home.
Raul: what´re you going to do?
Rafael: well, since this huge ball of fur won´t help me…
Cat (interrupts/pretends to be offended): Hey!

Rafael: I´m going back and I´m going to claim back my woman.

Rafael flies off and Raul and Francis watch him go.

Raul: what do you think he´s going to do?
Cat: I don´t know. Bore them to death.
Raul: Most likely.

Cat: why does everyone just assume I eat everything?
Raul (avoids the question): I have to go home. Bye.
Cat: hey!

Raul runs off.

Cat (cont.): Bye, I guess.

Francis turns back around and stars to walk back towards his house.

Cat: oh beautiful day…

His stomach growls.

Cat (cont./looks down as if talking to his stomach): yes, yes. Tuna it is.

The end!

2019_ Joana Teixeira